What forty-mile convoy?

That was our question when a friend posted about it on Facebook. He was worried about an ominous Russian military convoy headed for Kyiv, and that was the first we’d heard about it.

And then another friend posted about it. And we still didn’t know what they were talking about.

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“[The Cybertruck] doesn’t have a brake pedal. Why? We didn’t have to do that. It doesn’t need one.”
–Elon Musk

• You’ll feel no pain when your head smashes into the shatterproof windshield.
• Framed notarized certificate and titanium wallet card declaring your dick isn’t that small.
• The optional Westworld android to cheat the diamond lane during your commute definitely won’t kill you.

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Should’ve let ’em try an electric one as well:

We did it … we really did, 45 years ago:

Not even aure what this is, but it’s going 20 stories into the air:

For the record, this is not THE ACTUAL BATMOBILE that we saw at the Lane County Fairgrounds in 1968, forever disappointed that it didn’t SPEW FIRE FROM ITS ARSE.

On the other hand, this model does spew fire from its arse, which, for a cool two hundred large, it damn well better.

So we won’t mind — really! — if you decide to splurge this Dark Black Friday and buy it. And have it delivered. To us. In Sandy Eggo. Because whatever your expense, our childhood closure is priceless.

The Authentic 1966 Batmobile [Hammacher Schlemmer, via Comics Alliance]

“Lord, I’m going to get in trouble over this, but it is not natural for two women or two men to be married. If it was natural, they would have the equipment to have a sexual relationship.” —Georgia GOP Chair Sue Everhart, who also fears benefit fraud because everyone will now rush to get gay married. [Marietta Daily Journal]