Bank of America Burns Tax Dollars on Wanton, Debauched SuperBowl Orgy
Bank of America SuperBowl Orgy & Festival of Wanton Greed & Entitlement Makes Taxpayers Vomit Blood and Puss and Shriek for the Skulls of Bank of America Execs.
Bank of America is one of those institutions that can only exist in a fascist dystopia ruled by savagedly fuckwitted gangsters, a bank so criminally incompetent that its very size and raging degeneracy now threatens the larger national economy.
It entered the naughts a huge, mostly West-coast bank, known for the cackling imbecility of its employees and the rapaciousness of its fee schemes that force its banking customers to pay horrific charges for services that were free 20 years ago. In short, Bank of America was the equivalent of a really stupid biker gang of a bank, dangerous if you got near it but mostly easy to avoid.
It only achieved its apotheosis of demented, insatiable decrepitude during the Bush Administration which had a talent for confusing wanton corruption for free enterprise. After gobbling up other institutions over the years, it attained its current colossal size. By post-Apocalypse metrics still with a $53 billion market cap, Bank of America is the third largest bank in the states (from a $238 billion cap as of January 1, 2007), giving its executives a sense that maybe the bank is too big for the government to allow it to fail, maybe even too big for any rules at all. It proved that with a massive bacchanalia of Caligulan proportions last week, sponsoring a SuperBowl orgy outside the stadium in Tampa that ran for 5 full days and, according to ABC News, cost around $10 million.
Bank of America President Ken Lewis Struts Around In His 'Bail-Out Ballbuster' Costume at the Bank of America SuperBowl Orgy Where He Ate Barbequed Babies and Offered Oral Sex to Anyone Who Would Shit in His Mouth. Lewis is the Epitome of Banking Ethos in America.
ABC News reported: The event euphamized as “The NFL Experience” was comprised of 850,000 square feet of orgiastic entertainments obscured by the fig leaf of come-ons for the bank’s criminally overpriced, fee-spiked alleged financial products. In reality, the free-for-all was a chance for Bank of America to show its feces-hurling contempt for the American taxpayer who poured some $45 billion into the bank in the past two months to support the lunatic acquisition of Merrill Lynch and bail out the bank’s rancid loans portfolios, the fruit of the bank’s emetogenic underwriting standards.
Stinque.com, due to the website’s humble righteousness and modesty, was not invited but we could easily imagine the scene. Still, in the interest of fairness and accuracy Stinque organized a Remote Viewing Brigade to look in on the debauched proceedings – and this is what we saw:
Enormous bowls of cocaine being passed around among the celebrants; Bank of America commercial customers having sex with midgets in mountains of caviar and eating the flesh of freshly barbequed infants; farm animals dressed in Prada and Manolo Blahnics wandering around being sodomized by bank employees and customers; gold-covered fried ice cream bon bons being eaten out of the vaginas of $1000 an hour hookers by private banking customers; President Ken Lewis handing out midgets, small pre-teen boys and offering to sodomize commercial banking customers and their pets.
Bank of America's SuperBowl Orgy Ran on For 5 Days Costing Americans Who Work Some $10 Million. Does It Get Any More Twisted Than This?
By any measure, the Bank of America SuperBowl orgy was a world-class display of ancien-regime contempt for the American public who saved the institution from oblivion. In the field in which it competes, however, the bank had some stiff competition.
Last week, Morgan Stanley, beneficiary of $10 billion in taxpayer largess, took its clients down to a luxury resort in Palm Beach, FL for days of wanton excess.
Between Christmas and the new year, Sandy Weill, criminal genius behind Citi, took his family down to a $10,000 a night resort in Mexico, you know, just to rest up after taking $350 billion in taxpayer money and hurling 53,000 former taxpayers – his employees – out into the streets to starve to death.
What say you, Stinquers, have any of us witnessed any greater contempt for taxpayer generosity? Has it been misplaced? Should these criminal enterprises be, instead, shut down and their executives sent to the stocks?
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12:41 am • Tuesday • February 3, 2009
“Gold-covered fried ice cream bon bons being eaten out of the vaginas of $1000 an hour hookers”
Oh, ChainSaw, you stun and mesmerize me with your way with words.
Oh and shoot all of these douche-fucks. Please someone send this to my girlfriend Rachel Maddow and my boyfriend Keiff Oh in hopes that MSM picks this shit up. So fucking wrong.