No, we’re not talking about the idiots cheering on a teleprompter jockey because they’ve suddenly become fans of Lifetime biopics. We’re talking about the people who fear those idiots.

We’re talking about, as a Kos commenter aptly described it, Palin Panic Anxiety.

Word to the wise: Take a long, slow, deep breath. Repeat all week, if necessary.

And now, let’s address the facts:

• McCain chose Palin to appease the fundamentalist power brokers in his party. The gambit worked, and she is more popular than he is among the idiiot faithful. If anything, the power brokers are now warning Geezer not to distance himself from her divisive religious views.
• The idiot faithful are beyond redemption. Write them off. Now. They are not susceptible to reality, and they never were. They will swallow the spin as given, and even fill in their own spin when guidance from McCain’s Rovian puppetmasters is not available. For further details, consult the evolution of Greek mythology.
• We’re still riding a very big wave from a very big performance. It’s going to continue cresting this week, and it might even last into the next. It’s going to consume all attention from the media, and from supporters and opponents. That is the nature of these things, and there is no point wasting energy on resisting. Ride it out.

Meanwhile, the prosecution’s case grows day by day, as Chainsaw’s series of posts amply demonstrate. These things will gain no traction right now, but they are on the record, and will start seeping into general consciousness once the initial novelty and enthusiasm wanes. Americans get bored very quickly, and once they’ve had their fill of Maverick Hockey Mom, they’ll need some fresh news to keep them interested.

That’s when we’ll start hearing The Rest of the Story, and that’s when doubt will begin to disturb the Fabled Undecided, those who are enjoying the show right now but aren’t committed to the plot. Think Heroes and Lost, initially wildly popular but stumbling after their first seasons. In presidential politics, the second season comes very quickly.

We’re on the verge of setting up a spreadsheet to keep track of all this, but here’s the latest in Talibunny: The Sarah Palin Chronicles…

An Anchorage judge three years ago warned Sarah Palin and members of her family to stop “disparaging” the reputation of Alaska State Trooper Michael Wooten, who at the time was undergoing a bitter separation and divorce from Palin’s sister Molly.

How bitter? Trooper Wooten — try saying that without attracting half the birds within earshot — was the subject of twelve complaints to state police by assorted Palins. Talibunny was between jobs at the time, and the judge saw no need to treat her with deference. “Disparaging will not be tolerated — it is a form of child abuse,” he said at a settlement hearing.

And he meant it. If the Palin Posse didn’t back off, he threatened to send the kid to daddy instead.

Warned by the Court [Newsweek]

“Obama’s one accomplishment? Legislation to teach ‘comprehensive sex education’ to kindergartners. Learning about sex before learning to read?”

Of course the ad blatantly distorts the facts of the matter, but let’s not worry about nuance at the moment. John McCain is staking his claim in the gutter. Gloves off, Gentleman Barry.

New McCain Ad Falsely Suggests Obama Wants Kids To Learn “About Sex Before Learning To Read” [TPM]

Barry gets, how you say, uppity:

“You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig,” Sen. Obama said during a town hall style event in Lebanon, Virginia. The comment was a reference to Gov. Palin’s joke during the Republican National Convention that lipstick is the only difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom.

Ummm, okay… But as much as we’d like to see some offense, something tells us this might might not spin well. His other one-liner was less provocative: “You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called ‘change,’ it’s still going to stink.”

Obama Turns Up Heat on Palin [WSJ]

We felt a disturbance in the Force upon the release of the latest polls Monday, but before everyone rushes off to their favorite Tatooine dive bar to drink themselves into oblivion while the world blows up, a note of caution:

National polls don’t mean shit.

Sure, they’re amusing, and fun to chatter about when we’re not trash-talking Talibunny, but after our civics lesson in 2000 — Al Gore won the popular vote, in case you haven’t heard — we should be well aware of the Dead Hands of the Founders upon our electoral system.

The action is in the states, and state polls are the only polls that matter. Our Telestrator seems to be broken, but if you imagine us doing a Minority Report on the map, you’ll see that the vase looks just like a face.

Hold on, wrong map.

Okay. The two joints we follow both show Obama with commanding leads in the electoral-vote count — especially in sure-thing states — and this hasn’t changed all summer. Because they both average polls over the past week, they won’t really show the effect of Moose & Squirrelcheeks for a few more days, but if all Talibunny does is make red states redder, we’re not worried.

But we will have that drink. Who needs an excuse?

Electoral Vote.com • Pollster.com

Congratulations to the Washington Post for bagging the first trophy of the Presidential Hunting Season, a handsome 12-point buck of a scandal involving America’s Talibunny:

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has billed taxpayers for 312 nights spent in her own home during her first 19 months in office, charging a “per diem” allowance intended to cover meals and incidental expenses while traveling on state business.

That would be a tidy $16,951 collected for sleeping in her own bed. Go Mavericks!

Palin Billed State for Nights Spent at Home [WaPo]

Barry takes up Rachel’s suggestion, calls lying for what it is. Can America handle the truth?