While we were sleeping — and waking up and sleeping and waking up and sleeping and waking up and sleeping and waking up and sleeping and waking up and sleeping — America’s Finest were busy building a floating basketball court in America’s Finest City, preparing to host a game today (7pm ET, ESPN) between Michigan State and North Carolina.

Not as glamorous as its previous mission, however — the USS Carl Vinson is better known for taking Osama Bin Laden on his last ride before being dumped at sea.

[via Deadspin/RML]

“Nike has no plans to change the name of the Joe Paterno Center, a child day care facility on the World Headquarters Campus near Beaverton, in response to a sexual abuse scandal involving one of Paterno’s former Penn State University assistants, a Nike spokeswoman said this evening.” [Oregonian, via TPM]

“Joe Paterno’s tenure as coach of the Penn State football team will soon be over, perhaps within days or weeks, in the wake of a sex-abuse scandal that has implicated university officials, according to two people briefed on conversations among the university’s top officials.” [NYT]

Hank Williams, Jr.: “After reading hundreds of e-mails, I have made MY decision. By pulling my opening Oct 3rd, You (ESPN) stepped on the Toes of The First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE. It’s been a great run.”

USA v Brazil from Dresden begins at 8:30 am PDT/11:30 am EDT

American goalie Hope Solo will have her hands full with Brazil’s delightful Marta, whose ball skills are compared to those of Lionel Messi.

Apart from four retirees in south-western Pennsylvania the American people know well enough about Santorum’s ‘Google problem’. But do they know that he also hates wrestling, even though the WWF was his most important client as attorney/lobbyist? To exempt the Federation from noxious state oversight Santorum claimed that since it was not a sport it should not be regulated as one and that steroid use never harmed anyone.

Now I’ve made no secret around here of my general detestation of Sport. Most particularly when balls are involved: whether bounced, dribbled, or smacked with any kind of bat thingy. I don’t care how tight your pants are, or even if they do go transparent in the rain, it’s not enough to make up for the horror of having to watch you run about on astroturf for two hours. But I think I can enjoy watching two (or more) nearly naked men, sweat glistening on their straining bodies, grope and maul each other in public as much as the next chap. Even with his impressive record in the senate—named one of the 25 most influential evangelicals and one of the 20 most corrupt—to label such a virile display as some kind ‘entertainment’ can only harm his chances.

We Americans like contests. And strength. And blood. Wrestling gives us all of this and more. Fair play. Struggle. Triumph in the face of odds that seemed overwhelming. A true reflection of life as we know it. To label such a noble Sport as a mere entertainment is to question our values as a nation. An apology must be forthcoming.

And more pictures of his adorable family.

Yes, yes — here we are again.  For the fourth year running (three years on Stinque proper, with the first event happening at another place), it is the Kentucky Derby Open Thread.

First of all, this must be said: you want silly hats, Princess Beatrice?  Come get some.

You go to a royal wedding wearing felt-covered moose antlers, attached to a toilet seat.  On your damn head. But it can barely be called a “hat.”  You had to come up with a new name for it.  A “fascinator.”  Honey, please — the only thing fascinating about it was that it was lumped into the general category of “hats.”  That was not a hat.  THIS, RIGHT HERE, IS A HAT.  It is securely attached to the head by wrapping itself around the skull, and is not simply pinned to your forehead.  It protects (amply) the head from the heat and ultraviolet rays of the sun.  THIS IS A HAT.

So, anyway, the race.  19 horses will go.  It’s usually 20, but the favorite — Uncle Mo — was scratched because of a stomach bug.  Which made this race much more difficult to handicap.  The Derby is always impossible to pick with any sort of intelligence; all the horses are good, and most are more than capable of winning, even at extremely long odds.  Top picks, as of this draft, look like Dialed In (from the 4 post) and Nehro (19), both of whom hang back off the pace and close at the end.  But who the hell knows.

Several notables besides these two: Twice The Appeal (3) will have Calvin Borel, America’s Favorite Cajun, in the irons.  His M.O. is riding the rail, and that’s where he will start.  There are no horses this time who have ladybits, but one jockey who does — Anna Napravnik is up on Pants On Fire (7).  Mucho Macho Man (13) has a female trainer who is coming off — wait, wait — a heart transplant.  Devotion, yes?

And so: ALL RISE FOR THE DEGENERATE GAMBLER NATIONAL ANTHEM. (Doo-doo doo-doo-doot, doo-doo-doot, doo-doo-doo-dooooooot…..)