At or about 8 p.m. Monday night, human character changed.

A Mr. Keith Olbermann, of New York City, recently employed by a General Electric subsidiary, posted a notice to a popular messaging system. The notice included the cryptic expression “#FOK”, which readers were to understand was shorthand for “Friends of Keith”. Within minutes, #FOK was formally recognized by the messaging system as a highly popular expression.

As this trend was emerging, we happened to be reading a blog post that was highly critical of Mr. Olbermann, apparently because Mr. Olbermann was highly adept at agitating the writer’s rental companion:

My roommate, a sincere liberal and a nice enough guy, got more riled up by the program than I did. His muscles tightened. His blood pressure rose. Sometimes he even muttered to himself under his breath. Then the show ended. I’d switch the channel to a Lakers game or that John Adams miniseries. Fifteen minutes later, my roommate would forget what he was angry about. It seems to me that Olbermann’s show often brought out the worst impulses in people: petulance, self-righteousness, and blind anger at “the other side.” I appreciate that for others, the experience was different.

If by “different” you mean “suitably diverting dinnertime entertainment”, then yes. We can’t imagine anybody taking Keith Olbermann’s Hour of Glower seriously, but this wouldn’t be the first time our imagination has been found wanting.

Because apparently, many people did.

And, quite honestly, they’re starting to frighten us.

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“The shooter wins if we, who’ve been elected, change what we do just because of what he did.”
—Mike Lee on This Week, Sunday

• “I am not sure which is more disturbing about Mr Lee’s remark. Its obliviousness and stupidity, or its utter depravity.” (Kabnieldebs)
• “Ask Americans if they’d like to live in Mike Lee’s vision of this great nation. I doubt many would…” (mattparker1)
• “Obviously, Mike ‘Dumbfuck’ Lee didn’t see that booking photo of Jared Loughner, grinning like a fucking Cheshire Cat.” (Zooey)
• “I do not throw around accusations of mental instability lightly, but I am really beginning to wonder if Lee needs professional help.” (CCTX2)

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It took us a couple years, but we finally figured out what Our Preznit is missing.

Well, besides a backbone.

What he lacks, what prevents him from connecting with The American People, is a Crazy Family.

Michelle? The kids? Craig Robinson? They’re all the best America has to offer. And America resents them for it.

Where are the fun-loving Twins? Roger Clinton? Neil Bush? Barbara Bush? Ron & Michael? Jane Wyman?

Where, for the love of all that is Exceptional about America, is Billy Carter?

Because while you can make a case for Assorted Nixons, Kennedys and Eisenhowers, it’s really Billy where America’s love affair with Presidential Black Sheep began. Never mind whether you would share a pint with The Leader of the Free World — it was more fun knowing that the awesome power to destroy humanity with the push of a button was nothing compared to the awesome embarrassment of a relation who was along for the ride. That we can identify with.

Thank God our Shadow Preznit is ably filling the void, or we don’t know what we would do.

Love, Lies, and the Drama of Facebook [Mercede Johnston, via Sully]

“It turns out that there’s only three things Mike Lee likes in a sentence: a noun, a verb, and ‘unconstitutional.'”
—ThinkProgress

• Endless digressions.
• A profound, succinct thought, leading to a fart gag.
• Incessant Reification of Abstract Concepts.

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Let this be a lesson, kids: One night of orgiastic frenzy, and you’ll be living with the consequences the rest of your life.

Good Morning, Ladies & Gentlemen [Homofascist’s Army, 1/19/2008]

The Year in Review [Stinque, 12/31/2008]

They say dance with the one that brung ya, and if Mike Lee Model #710604 is the clone finally able to break through to national prominence (third-string network correspondents don’t count), we feel obligated to support the team.

But damn if he isn’t being a fucking idiot about it. Just look at this headline from ThinkProgress:

Sen. Mike Lee Calls Child Labor Laws Unconstitutional

Granted, it’s no Blood Libel, but it looks at first like a fine play by a Frosh Asshole coming off the bench, bringing to mind such delightful Dickensian follow-ups as Mike Lee Advocates Indentured Chimney-Sweeping for Kids, Mike Lee Calls for Harvesting Fuel from Baby Fat, and Mike Lee Sells His Children for Medical Experiments.

And then you listen to the source of his pronouncement — a YouTube lecture — and he fucking blows it.

No, we don’t mean all the Child Labor is Bad chatter before he pulls an obscure (and later overturned) Supreme Court decision out of his butt. Plausible deniability, dontcha know. Instead, the problem is that the decision doesn’t even prove what he says it does.

Fucking rookie. Bachmann would never say something so easily undermined by a mere fact-check.

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We woke up in 1968.

It’s not that we were asleep. Until then, we were busy being a kid. But shit went down that spring, shit even an eight-year-old couldn’t ignore.

We don’t remember Tet, although our babysitter had a Vietnam map on her livingroom wall. Her son was a cook in the Army. His current location was marked. Because of the Draft, Vietnam had a presence in American life that no subsequent war would match. You want to politicize a generation, put their asses on the line.

We don’t remember LBJ quitting, either. And because Eugene didn’t have a CBS station, we don’t remember Walter throwing in the towel.

But we do remember Bobby. And Martin. We remember the photos, now iconic, on the front page of the newspaper. We remember becoming aware of the world.

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