If our 78-year-old dad ever dropped the line “pocket tweet” on us, we wouldn’t hesitate to commit him to an institution.

[via @daveweigel]

We’re astonished! that Herman Cain! has yet to solve the problem created by a rogue campaign member. At least we remain confident that, true to his principles, Cain! won’t go around blaming someone else for the situation.

Oh, fuck it. It’s fun to watch him twist in the wind, but he is and always was a joke candidate. It’s getting so bad, we’re finding ourselves wishing that Sarah Palin had run. Now there’s schadenfreude you can believe in!

There hasn’t been much news since Sunday night, when Politico committed journalism — Related: Hell freezes over! — and broke the story of Herman Cain!’s exuberant hospitality at the Other NRA. Sure, his memory seemed to slowly clear up throughout the day Monday — memory that hadn’t been jogged when reporters contacted him days earlier — but we’ve been awaiting the drip-drip-drip of Further Revelations.

Like, oh, this:

The National Restaurant Association gave $35,000 — a year’s salary — in severance pay to a female staff member in the late 1990s after an encounter with Herman Cain, its chief executive at the time, made her uncomfortable working there, three people with direct knowledge of the payment said on Tuesday.

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Okay, fine. Canadian Ninjas probably don’t say “Cowabunga!” But whatever Japanese Ninjas say, Canadian Ninjas probably don’t say that, either.

Improv in Toronto [via Know Your Meme]

We met our first Wingnut in 1967. The word wasn’t around at the time, but thinking back on it, he fit the type. Stupid. Confident. Jerk.

We were in third grade. It was Halloween, and instead of begging for candy and going through the Mom Ritual of fretting about apples embedded with razor blades, we decided to wander around the old neighborhood of modest two-bedroom homes with a distinctive orange box, trick-or-treating for UNICEF.

We don’t recall being especially concerned about Starving Children in Africa. It just seemed like the thing to do.

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“Common Sense Media” – no, we haven’t heard of them, either – would like you to know that the Collapse of Western Civilization is proceeding on schedule:

Two-thirds (65%) of 0- to 8-year-olds watch TV at least once every day (ranging from 37% of 0-1 year- olds, to 73% of 2- to 4-year-olds and 72% of 5- to 8-year-olds). Forty-two percent have a TV in their bedroom, and 39% live in a home where the TV is left on all (10%) or most (29%) of the time, whether anyone is watching it or not. Children this age spend an average of 1:44 watching TV or videos in a typical day, compared to :29 reading, :29 listening to music, and :25 playing computer or video games.

Okay, so American kids are, um, American. Why should we care?

Having an accurate understanding of the role of media in children’s lives is essential for all of those concerned about promoting healthy child development: parents, educators, pediatricians, public health advocates, and policymakers, to name just a few.

Not named: Children.

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We considered whether to say Profound Things about the new Congressional Budget Office report on income inequality in America, but let’s face it: This isn’t news. This hasn’t been news for a generation. And even before it was news, it was easily predicted as of November 4, 1980.

Hell, Poppy Bush called it on April 10 that year. Which is also the last time truth ever passed a Bush’s lips.

So please, spare us the Shock! over something that’s been evident for decades. We voted for it. Repeatedly. We still do. And there’s a decent chance we’ll vote for it again a year from now.

Which is why we’d rather watch Steve Buscemi get snuffed.

[via Nerdist]