Our guest petitioner is Texas Governor Rick Perry.

TO ALL TO WHOM THESE PRESENTS SHALL COME:

WHEREAS, the state of Texas is in the midst of an exceptional drought, with some parts of the state receiving no significant rainfall for almost three months, matching rainfall deficit records dating back to the 1930s; and

WHEREAS, a combination of higher than normal temperatures, low precipitation and low relative humidity has caused an extreme fire danger over most of the State, sparking more than 8,000 wildfires which have cost several lives, engulfed more than 1.8 million acres of land and destroyed almost 400 homes, causing me to issue an ongoing disaster declaration since December of last year; and

WHEREAS, these dire conditions have caused agricultural crops to fail, lake and reservoir levels to fall and cattle and livestock to struggle under intense stress, imposing a tremendous financial and emotional toll on our land and our people; and

Read more »

Caption for this photo: “Roisin McCourt was left speechless after she pulled a tea towel from her tumble dryer to find a brown stain in the shape of Jesus’ face splattered on it.”

Related items listed for this story:

• “Face of Jesus appears on log”
• “Jesus Christ appears on rocking chair”
• “Cancer patient sees Jesus in MRI scan”
• “Top five unexpected appearances of Jesus”
• “Face of Jesus appears on Marmite lid”
• “Face of Jesus appears in naan bread”
• “‘Face of Jesus’ found in a Kit-Kat”

Also mentioned in this story: “Another resident from Coventry, Alex Cotton, last year claimed to see Jesus’ face on her drainpipe.”

Face of Jesus appears on tea towel [Metro UK]

[Hershey’s TV ad, seen Thursday night]

[via Jezebel/RML]

In an interview on the popular Tony Perkins radio program “Theocracy Now”, Jim DeMint decries the Bureaucrat-Atheist Complex:

Some are trying to separate the social, cultural issues from fiscal issues, but you really can’t do that. America works, freedom works, when people have that internal gyroscope that comes from a belief in God and Biblical faith. Once we push that out, you no longer have the capacity to live as a free person without the external controls of an authoritarian government. I’ve said it often, and I believe it: The bigger government gets, the smaller God gets, as people become more dependent on government, less dependent on God.

We can’t help but think “more dependent on government” is code for Obamacare, which numerous studies have proven is less effective than faith-healing.

Jim DeMint’s Theory Of Relativity: ‘The Bigger Government Gets, The Smaller God Gets’ [ThinkProgress]

Absolute Genius Halloween Photo: Brixey Banter

Speaking of fears of religious takeovers of proud nations, let’s visit the Fox website…

President Obama misquoted a familiar Bible verse during a faith-based address at the National Prayer Breakfast.

“Those who wait on the Lord will soar on wings like eagles, and they will run and not be weary, and they will walk and not faint,” the president said during a speech to several thousand people at the breakfast.

But the actual passage, from Isaiah 40:31, states: “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

Well, if you want to go there, the actual passage states this:

וקוי יהוה יחליפו כח יעלו אבר כנשרים ירוצו ולא ייגעו ילכו ולא ייעפו׃

But since God’s Language is English, and He personally dictated the contents of the King James Bible, Fox Nation is correct. Obama, quoting from the New International Version, revealed that he’s going straight to Hell.

Obama Botches Bible Verse at Prayer Breakfast [Fox Nation]

Attention Fox Nation: There Is More Than One Version Of The Bible [Media Matters]

“Health officials say hundreds of people may have been exposed to hepatitis A while receiving communion on Christmas Day at a church on Long Island, N.Y.” [AP/WaPo; image via Worth1000]