My Money, You Sick Gangster, My Money and They'll Be No Trouble

Banking has indeed changed since Reagan declared America’s financial system was open for looting. In fact, what used to be a relatively consumer friendly system has been transformed, most dramatically at the money center banks, into a rapacious house of horrors in which usary laws have been essentially repealed and retail customers regarded as suckers ready to be stomped unconscious and ass-raped into quivering comas.

Your balance dipped below $100,000? Oh, hey, sorry, asshole, but the poor are deeply fucking offensive and maintaining a piece of shit account like that is going to cost you.  Didn’t keep track of the fact that we changed the due date and grace period on your credit card 16 times in 11 months and you paid late?  Shame you can’t pay fucking attention, asshole, because you’ve exposed yourself as a bad risk and are subject to 550% interest. Oh, you’re going to cancel the card? Try it, fuckface, just try it and we’ll file a credit report that will have the sorry fucks holding your note calling it in and putting you on the street so fast your spine will stop flying a half hour after you come to rest.

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@Mistress Cynica: Beefcake?  You want beefcake?  Here you go:

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I think I know what’s on the minds of many of you.  There needs to be a purging of something deep inside you.  Not something bothering you about the political world, but something deeper.  The banal things that surround you.

Perhaps the Billy Joel etc. thread set this off, but I cannot fucking stand how fake people are totally running the world.  Pre-packaged crap dressed up as The Next Big Thing, corporate speak, routine, routine, routine — all to cover for loneliness, for inadequacy, for imperfection, for being a total fuck-up.  The money that is made, the women that are scored, the big money, fabulous prizes, power and control.

But that’s me.  If your fist could smash something, friends, what would it be?  Nothing profound like war or hate, you know.  The simpler things — the creepy guy on the bus, the ad in the window of the bank, the girl chatting away on the cell phone while walking into traffic. 

What’s that one nagging, annoying itch that you want to scratch with a tactical nuclear missile?  Dear friends: what’s pissing you off today?