Additional Outtakes
GEORGE: I quit!
PAUL: You can’t quit, you’re fired!
GEORGE: You can’t fire me, I quit!
JOHN: I might quit, too.
RINGO: I’m just waiting to be replaced by Pete Best.
• • •
[ The lads jam to “Happy Wanderer”. ]
• • •
RINGO: I have a new song!
JOHN: Let’s hear it!
RINGO: [ sings at piano ]
I’d like to be
Up in a tree
In a jungle bungalow
With the apes.
PAUL: I have a few suggestions.
• • •
[ The lads jam to “Mack the Knife”. ]
• • •
YOKO: [ primal scream ]
JOHN: You should hear her in bed, mate.
PAUL: She’s faking it, you know.
JOHN: No.
• • •
PAUL: I need a name that rhymes with orange.
• • •
MICHAEL LINDSAY-HOGG: I’m Michael Lindsay-Hogg.
JOHN: You’re kidding, right?
MICHAEL LINDSAY-HOGG: No, really. That’s my name. Michael Lindsay-Hogg.
RINGO: I’ll bet that was fun at school.
MICHAEL LINDSAY-HOGG: I went to Choate.
GEORGE: You’re Michael Lindsay-Hogg, and you went to Choate.
MICHAEL LINDSAY-HOGG: Is there a problem with this?
GLYN JOHNS: Lay off him, lads.
• • •
[ The lads jam to “The Monkees”. ]
• • •
RINGO: In fifty years, two of you will be dead, Mick and Keith will still be alive, and millions of people will be watching us waste rehearsal time on a Walt Disney channel.
GEORGE: What?
RINGO: Sorry, I was tripping with Sellers last night.
I guess we can stop blaming Yoko for blowing up the Ruttles?
There goes Roe
Oh! Run, Stacey! RUN! she’s getting allll my pennies!
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Morning in America IMPALE!
¡ANDREW! • Morning in America If only there were a way to block Prezinazi AntiChrist's sinister, fugly face.
KAREN MARIE MIGHT BE PEEKING JUST A LITTLE • Morning in America Oh, hey, kids - long time no see! I am delighted to see you all still kicking it.
¡ANDREW! • Joe the Plumber Foils Our Prediction of Resorting to Online Porn @nojo: When bad things happen to bad people, and they get what they deserve.
NOJO • Joe the Plumber Foils Our Prediction of Resorting to Online Porn And now he’s dead. At 49. Of pancreatic cancer. Which he couldn’t afford, so he set up a…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Morning in America DISMEMBER!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Morning in America The Orange Grinch who stole an Election (and Top Secrets)
NOJO • Morning in America Needs a Dragnet narrator.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • IF TRUMP APEARS IN A PENITENTIARY, THE INMATES WILL DISMEMBER HIM WITHIN MINUTES! PIECE OF SHIT, TRUMP! DIE! DIE! DIE!
¡ANDREW! • IF TRUMP APEARS IN A PENITENTIARY, THE INMATES WILL DISMEMBER HIM WITHIN MINUTES! That’s a manifesto I definitely endorse ; )