Exit Left to Funway

What has been seen cannot be unseen.

Unless something goes horribly, horribly wrong — What? Here? — Hillary’s gonna win tonight by a hundred electoral votes. If that’s news to you, well, blame the news, which as usual is fixated on reporting every score except the one that matters.

And after tonight, we’ll never hear about Donald Trump or this election ag— hahaha haha HAHAHAHAHAHA…

Er, sorry. What we meant to say was, We’ll never hear the end of it.

So while we’re searching for a hemorrhoid cushion in preparation for the endless Congressional investigations to come, you’re invited to squat on our election Open Thread/PTSD Support Group. Tonight’s drinking game is whoever wins, drink until you forget.

90 comments:

12:17 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Best of luck US Amercia.

Hope to see Orange crushed. Probably will based on early voting considering how man baby Trump pissed off pretty much everyone whose votes he needed except right wing racist man babies and other rubes.

12:26 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@ManchuCandidate: Just in case, hope you have spare beds for all of us.

12:34 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@ManchuCandidate: The hubs and I are taking the train to Vansterdam, BC, during the long US Thanksgiving weekend. I told my boss that I’ll let her know on Wednesday whether we’re coming back. It’s a good thing we’ve got reserved seats, ’cause there’ll be people clinging to the outside of the train if the Orange STD wins.

12:43 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

On the one hand, I hope that racist/sexist/neofascist shitbag Trump and his vile supporters go down in flames tonight. On the other hand, our reward will be the election of Ms. Patriot Act/Iraq War/Wall Street bailout/1% Supremacist. It’s an epic indictment of our disgraceful, failed political system that either one of these monsters will be president.

1:35 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

I’m wondering if I can make it to noon without drinking. Good day to be working from home. I cried for the first time this AM when a friend texted from Jackson, MS to tell me that as he was leaving his polling place, a bus pulled up filled with older black women in white pantsuits. I have been waiting for this day for 50 fucking years.

2:37 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@Mistress Cynica: I choked up a little this morning as my pen hovered over Clinton’s name. Tonight will be full-on emotional.

4:34 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Is it over yet?

4:35 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Oh, Jeez. Dad had his hip replaced last week, and he lives in PA. Gonna call to see if he was too high to vote for Clinton.

4:52 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Wow. He had to climb up and down stairs to get to the voting machines. He’s icing his hip right now.

How can they have a polling place that isn’t handicap accessible?

5:09 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@JNOV: I wish every state had mail-in ballots like Washington.

5:32 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@¡Andrew!: From Oregon to California to Colorado, I haven’t voted in person in twenty years. Terribly civilized.

5:59 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Damn this election haz my nerves all shot to hell, especially the outcome of Proposition 1, which would fully build out Seattle’s subway/light rail.

Good thing I’ve got my MJ usage under control. I only vape-out on days of the week that start with T, like “today” and “tomorrow.”

6:20 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@nojo: I kind of miss going to our polling place. It was a Catholic retirement home down the street, and we’d always hear them screaming their morning prayers over the public address system due to the residents’ near deafness. There was always something deeply satisfying about feeding my scantron ballot into the machine then watching the counter tick up a number to register my vote.

6:51 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@JNOV: Under the ADA and other disability laws, if a polling place isn’t accessible, then the officials must accommodate the person by bringing the ballot to him, whether he’s in a car outside or on the sidewalk staring at a flight of stairs.

/Your recently trained election law specialist

@Mistress Cynica: Verklempt

8:10 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

For an early read, watch Florida and North Carolina; Ohio doesn’t matter if it goes red.

Yes, I said “Florida” and “early”. Silly me.

8:14 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@nojo: Georgia too close to call makes me cautiously optimistic.

8:20 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Hi Guys.

Um, not to be a downer, but reports of a shooting at a polling place in Azusa.

8:31 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016
8:52 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Well, okay, if Florida’s gonna be an asshole again, Ohio will be fine.

8:58 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@tommmcatt — The shooting was about a mile from me.

8:58 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

I know it’s a cliche at this point, but srsly: FUCK FLORIDA!!!1!

9:06 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Fucking Florida! How does it always come down to the moron state?

9:10 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@cassandra_said: OMG are you okay?

9:11 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Fuck fuck fuck who so close?

9:17 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Reminder that red states get tallied first, and the blue west doesn’t weigh in until last.

I’m also comparing declared results with my Projection Map of Choice. No flips yet either way.

9:18 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@tommmmcatt — I’m fine. Priced out of Los Angeles and going to grad school in Rosemead. I think we may be fucked. The exit polls aren’t looking good.

9:19 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@nojo – that helps…. a little.

9:20 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Whelp. We’ll have to see.

9:27 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@SanFranLefty: Oh! Well, fuck PA.

9:28 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@cassandra_said: Hillary could lose the trifecta — Florida, NC, Ohio — and still squeak by. But I’m sticking with a 100-EV win until I see states actually flip.

9:29 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@¡Andrew!: Dad said the same. He said that he thinks national elections should all be mail-in ballots, and I started to explain to him that the Federal gov’t kinda can’t do that, and no, I can’t start an initiative or a petition to do so, and then the Oxy kicked in.

9:30 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@nojo I’ll get on that train. @jnov Pennsylvania — the south of the northeast.

9:32 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@tommmcatt — Saw you back in school too. Hello mid-life career change! Or for actors — Hello first career. ;)

9:32 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

*were

9:33 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Why is everyone yelling on MSNCB? I mean, I understand Philly Tweety, but don’t professionals know about mics and booms and shit like that? Eesh. I’m worried, too, but I’m not yelling yet.

TJ: The sun came out and I took 73# puppy (solid muscle just like me) to the dog park and tried to forget about all of this shit. I thought it would be over when I got off of work. Ugh. On a happier note, I can see Canada from the Olympic Peninsula.

9:34 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@cassandra_said: Dude. Mason-Dixon line separates PA and DE on I-95. SMH

9:36 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Looking at things another way, Trump is projected for 215 EV, and his states call early.

9:37 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@JNOV: I’m streaming ABC, which is fine until they cut to Bill Kristol.

9:39 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@cassandra_said: Lol yes I like it.

9:42 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@nojo: James Carville doesn’t age. But he always looked like a bat, sooooo

9:43 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@cassandra_said: I’ve always loved your name.

9:51 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

God I hate Florida. Rachel is talking about half of a percentage point right now.

9:52 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

I feel so duped.

9:53 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@Tommmcatt Au Gros Sel: KILL THE SNOWBIRDS. What happens? People leave NYC and go senile?

9:53 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Someone page Bene.

9:56 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@nojo: But she can’t lose them AND Virginia. Fucking Florida.

9:58 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@jnov — me too. ;)

10:00 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Can we give Florida to Cuba?

10:00 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Damn – Utah might be in play?

10:02 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@Mistress Cynica: Well, yes, losing the trifecta requires winning all other projected states. My comfort level has always been 314 EV in the polls to account for that. (Ohio’s been leaning red forever.)

10:02 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Why isn’t PA rolling out to beat up Toomey? I am proud to be part of ridding the commonwealth of Santorum.

10:04 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

OK, who else has already Googled “move to Canada”?

10:04 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@Mistress Cynica: I’m looking for a sponsor.

10:05 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@Mistress Cynica: Doesn’t Cascadia have dual citizenship?

10:09 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@JNOV: McMullin doing really well there.

10:10 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@Mistress Cynica: He’s hot.

10:14 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@Mistress Cynica: A lot of my exmo friends have been talking about how Trump’s vulgarity upsets their friends and family; Clinton, well, is Clinton. What’s odd is that he isn’t Mormon. True Blue Mormons are told how to vote, so, that probably has something to do with it. That’s how the ERA was shot down. Mormons.

10:15 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Still no flips. But Michigan would be unhappy.

10:27 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Virginia for Clinton.

10:28 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@nojo: IF she loses Michigan all bets are off.

10:31 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@nojo: Wisconsin would be unhappy as well.

10:32 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

I’m in shock. Even after all we’ve been through, it’s just unreal to see Trump winning state after state.

10:37 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

The Canada thing is getting tired. I just climbed out of poverty. Once again. I’m stuck here with the morons and the idiots.

10:51 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@cassandra_said: We can make it.

11:01 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

So: Florida was a cushion state, not required for win. As was NC. But winning NC (15 EV) would not make up for losing Michigan (16). I think NC + Michigan would make up for Wisconsin (10), but the math is making my head hurt.

11:07 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

And, there goes NC. I’ll now stand down from electoral landslide. It’s all on Michigan and Wisconsin.

11:10 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Let’s hear more about that faithless elector in Washington state.

11:22 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@nojo: Right? Fuck them, man. Why would you do such a pointless thing?

11:30 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@nojo: There might be two.

11:32 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Fox has called WI for Trump, which means it over.

11:36 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

woe

11:40 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

@Mistress Cynica: I’m going to be consistent and wait for AP.

11:41 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Don’t forget to breathe!!!

11:53 pm • Tuesday • November 8, 2016

Singapore and New Zealand, here we come!

I fucking give up.

/bye Felicia

12:01 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

Can’t remember who said it, but democracy depends upon voters not doing something too evil or too stupid. Whoops.

12:04 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

Still down to Badgers and Wolverines, according to AP.

12:05 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

Okay, fine, New Hampshire could also throw a wrench in the works.

12:26 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

@SanFranLefty: Can we take the cats to NZ?

12:28 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

Senate’s still up for grabs. That’s the Last Firewall, presuming Badgers and Wolverines screws us over. But really, Demrats need 51 seats, which is a stretch.

1:20 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

GOP one Senate seat (and one blue state) away from ending The American Experiment.

1:38 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

@Mistress Cynica: Yes, I don’t think the Kiwis quarantine the kittehs the way the Hawaiians and Brits do.

1:39 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

And, there goes Pennsylvania! Hello, Armageddon!

2:00 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

@nojo: Fuck this country. Baked had the right idea to flee to the Caribbean.

2:10 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

Fuck it. Why am I bothering to use a glass at this point? Drink from the motherfucking bottle.

2:12 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

@SanFranLefty: IV drip.

2:13 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

And with Senator #50 locked in, Republicans are free to run roughshod. Even Reagan had to deal with Democrats, however chummy Tip was.

2:27 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

I’m just numb now. Hard to tell if it’s shock or alcohol.

2:43 am • Wednesday • November 9, 2016

@nojo: That’ll work even better. Gotta go to bed, have an 8 am hearing Wednesday morning, although I don’t know how I can manage to not be the most nihilistic attorney to ever appear in federal district court. If I get through the hour or so without dropping a F bomb, yay for me.

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