Future Revelations

This song was not intended as a patriotic chant.

  • Fossil fuels cause global warming
  • Access to firearms increases likelihood of injury or death
  • The refrigerator light goes off when you shut the door

  • Ted Cruz’s father was not involved in the JFK assassination
  • Immigrant crime is statistically indistinguishable from native-born
  • Your cat does not spend every waking moment plotting to kill you
  • Bragging about donations to charity that do not exist constitutes a lie
  • Racists are, in fact, racist
  • If you push something, it will fall over
  • America wasn’t that great the last time
In Sudden About Face, Trump Admits Obama Was Born In US [AP/TPM]

When I’m alone, I will put off doing the laundry until the last possible minute.

But that Enzyte will make my penis grow larger.

See that means everything is WRONG WRONG WRONG!

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