Land of the Rising Shun
Title: “Amish Confidential”
Authors: “Lebanon” Levi Stoltzfus and Ellis Henican
Rank: 58
Blurb: “‘Lebanon’ Levi Stoltzfus, star of the hit Discovery Channel reality show Amish Mafia, delivers a sizzling tell-all about Amish life today. From the forbidden joyrides to the senseless shunnings to the colorful family feuds, he shares his frank insider’s view of this fascinating and secretive society.”
Review: “The author points out that their failure to vaccinate their children for polio resulted in 11 cases of polio among the Amish in 1978. Not surprisingly, the tourist trade fell drastically after that.”
Customers Also Bought: “Surviving When Modern Medicine Fails: A definitive guide to essential oils that could save your life during a crisis”
Footnote: We wish all American religious extremists would follow the Amish example by keeping to themselves and not bothering the rest of us.
Amish Confidential [Amazon]
Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]
Or using the fruits the science they hate so much that they continue to post up why they hate said science up on Facebook.
-electricity and semiconductors from the Big Bang (not the TV show)
-computer software (based heavily on non biblical math)
-computer OS (based on the theories from the brilliant and gay Alan Turning.)
-eating any modern medicine (evilushun and genetics)
-eating any modern “food” (again evilshun and genetics.)
-driving a car (gas due to modern geology)
At least the Amish are real when it comes to their religious values unlike many fundamentalists.
@ManchuCandidate: The Unicorn is out and is making some right-winger homoshexual haters’ heads explode.
@SanFranLefty:
Good for Barry.
We are who we are. No amount of prayer and petty posturing is gonna change that.
I have blocked all my family members on Fbook Enough is enough.
BTW. As ever, noje wields the pun stick with the force of a Jedi warrior’s selfie stick. But clearly he has never driven the roads of PN behind one of these fuckwads in his whoreson buggy. (Say it you’ll get it. Whore sun buggy. Or in other words, don’t put the whores before the cart.)
Oh! Pennsylvania Dutch! You will not find Amish in Reading Terminal Market; those are Mennonites.
Shady Maple Lap Band Discount (not Amish but close enough). ETA: Oh, SNAP! No more discount based on how long it takes for your stomach to stretch!
In other news, NojoLite graduates next month – computer science, philosophy and math. His internship is probably turning into a job…maybe…I think…I’m afraid to ask. His girlfriend is incredibly normal and a shitton of fun. He doesn’t hate me anymore. I have no idea what happened.
I’ll be in Longport if anyone’s around 5/7th-5/13th.
@JNOV: Mind you, I didn’t do all three at once.
@nojo: He tripped over things he loves.
@JNOV: Awesome news!
@¡Andrew!: :-) he says hi to you and yours. <3
@JNOV: Mazel Tov to JNOVJr!
@SanFranLefty: I thank you kindly. :-)
Now why is the DNC sending me a bullshit survey? Why don’t they just save everybody’s time and maybe not irritate me by just asking for some fucking duckets? Calling me a “party leader” while asking me to join the DNC is maybe the dumbest thing I’ve dealt with today. In 2008 I gave $25 to a campaign. It’s the only time I’ve done so, and I sure as shit didn’t give it to the DNC. Seven years and five or six addresses later I get this weirdness with all sorts of red “urgent!!!!” stamps on the yellow return envelope.
Stalkers.
Not the MSNBC Ad wants me to join the NRA and get a free pocket knife. $25.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…