Bark Shadows

“There’s no hope for him now, Travis. He’s suffering. You know we’ve got to do it.”Title: “Good Dog: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Loyalty”

Authors: Editors of Garden and Gun

Rank: 21

Blurb: “From the troublemakers who can’t be fenced in to the lifelong companions who never leave our sides, this one-of-a-kind anthology showcases man’s best friend through all of his most endearing (and maddening) attributes.”

Review: “I really like this book. It was really good. It didn’t really make sense but it did make sense. If u know what I mean?”

Customers Also Bought: “Bounty Select-A-Size Paper Towels, Huge Rolls, White, 12 Count”

Footnote: We’re Kickstarting a heartwarming photo collection of raised surfaces we’ve kicked cats off of.

Good Dog [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]


Pooping, Farting, Sniffing, Licking, Shedding, Barking, Eating.

Title describes one or the other or both?

I wish I were that clever. The Mobius comedy was purely unintentional.

I can’t believe that next Tuesday is Election Day. That means I have less than a week to learn how to throw a rattlesnake into a moving limo.

@¡Andrew!: I’ll be in France, where I plan to ask for political asylum if the Senate flips.

Traumatized Nation Terrified To Make Its Voice Heard In Another Election

WASHINGTON—Citing decades of repeated indignities and post-electoral trauma, Americans from across the political spectrum reported Wednesday that they were terrified at the prospect of making their voices heard in another nationwide vote.

The U.S. electorate… expressed a looming sense of dread that no matter what the outcome of their actions, it would be a cruel and degrading experience with painful repercussions—just as it’s been year after year after year.

“When Americans go to the polls on Election Day, they will once again be in a state of abject fear, knowing exactly what kind of excruciating ordeal they’re in for,” said Paula McDermott, a professor at Harvard University’s Kennedy School of Government, adding that voters were not so much willing participants in the electoral process as they were victims trapped in an endless cycle of abuse.

@Mistress Cynica: Can I join you?

Meanwhile, on News Hour they’re talking about sunspots and out of control lava. Clouds of locust will be featured tomorrow. (And I’m not referring to David Brooks’ weekly gaseous explosions.)

@Dodgerblue: @Mistress Cynica: Seattle alt-weekly The Strangler put it best: “Voting in the US is like a multiple choice exam in which all of the answers are wrong.”

@SanFranLefty: I think we can all agree that Mike Lee can’t be trusted.

@Mistress Cynica: France can’t help you. They can’t help any of us. They’re all nitwits befuddled by bad Beaune. Fly IcelandAir. Grab any nearest cat in the business lounge and throw yourself on the runway at Reykjavik. Refuse to move until someone sensible comes along. Preferably with knitwear. They’re all over the place. (Icelandic wool has loft) They will try to buy you over with sild. The cat might like it but hold out for the cod biryani. Refuse the puffin/whale tourist menu because.. you know… eww.

My life is hell. There comes a point that not even vodka can help. I know. The bakedapostasy.

On the upside: Hillary 2016.

@nojo: Mike Lee should be kicked to the gutter and pissed upon. Preferably from a great height. With sparklers.

Plus, OT (shocker I know) there’s nothing about dogs that’s not good. Apart from vomiting on the bed. Or the diarrhea on the bedroom carpet. Or the impalement on forest sticks. Or near death experiences after having gone walkies. Or the total destruction of all interior furnishings plus sneakers. Plus huge vet bills. Plus I have to go to bed. I got pugs here got my name all over them.

Only thing wrong with dogs is that they die too soon.

@Benedick: The hubs and I ranked doggy clean-ups by order of disgustitude, and occasional incidents like urine on the floor don’t even rate anymore. It’s when they have diarrhea down the heating vent register that you’ll lose both your sanity and any vestigial faith in a higher power.

@Mistress Cynica: Did you see that the French right wing party is pulling some record numbers these days?

@redmanlaw: Yeah, it’s scary how many nationalist, isolationist parties are on the rise in Europe. Turns out the Euro may have been a bad idea.

@redmanlaw: I’m asking my doctor for Valium in the Desperate Househuzband “As Much As You Want” dosage.

@¡Andrew!: I found a liquor store near my house that stocks single-malts by region.

@¡Andrew!: That made me laugh so much. Though, heads up, by changing the brand of food I might have cured the foaming diarrhea at 3 am.

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