Bring Out Your Dread!

Don’t forget the Zombie repellant.Title: “Ebola Survival Handbook: A Collection of Tips, Strategies, and Supply Lists From Some of the World’s Best Preparedness Professionals”

Author: Lost Arts Publishing

Rank: 42

Blurb: “Ebola. Even the name of the virus conjures up mental images of a gruesome, agonizing, bloody death. Anyone who has scanned the news headlines lately has, at the very least, an inkling that a horrible disease is on the loose. It’s anyone’s best guess how soon this becomes a pandemic on American soil. While the Center for Disease Control and the World Health Organization have both expressed serious concerns that we are on the brink of disaster, border enforcement agencies seem blithely unconcerned. It’s really up to you to protect your family.”

Review: “Tells you what supplies you need, including how to care for your sick when the hospitals are full (and they will be) and dispose of your dead.”

Customers Also Bought: “DuPont TY127S Tyvek Disposable Coverall with Hood, Elastic Cuff”, “3M 8511 Particulate N95 Respirator with Valve”, “Dewalt DPG82-11C Concealer Clear Anti-Fog Dual Mold Safety Goggle”, “Medical Booties Shoe Covers Non Slip Package of 50 Pair”, “Dynarex Black Nitrile Exam Gloves, Heavy-Duty, Powder Free, Large”, “Ultimate Pandemic Virus Kit Module”, “Lifestraw Personal Water Filter”, and “The Prepper’s Cookbook: 300 Recipes to Turn Your Emergency Food into Nutritious, Delicious, Life-Saving Meals”.

Footnote: When your package arrives from Amazon, remember to kill and dispose properly the likely infectious UPS driver.

Ebola Survival Handbook [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]


We need new idiots. The ones we’ve got are becoming tiresome.

So maybe three confirmed cases in a nation of 320 million people? Just tell the braying troglodytes that they’ll get a truckload of placeboes to cure their Ebolas. That’ll fix it.

I can’t help it. I keep thinking of the nuns in The Sound of Music singing:

How do you solve a problem like Ebola?

I know I’m a bad person.

My friend at the U of Miss. med school is an endless fount of amusing ebola panic stories. The latest: couple brings their daughter to the ER because she had been exposed to someone who’d just returned from Africa. The African country in question? Jamaica.

Not the MSNBC ad: “Are you single and Christian? God has a match for you!” One with big boobs, according to the accompanying photo.

@Mistress Cynica: I remember, growing up, how things like the Red Scare and Reefer Madness seemed like quaint artifacts of a distant past. Now it’s just one Panic after another.

In other words, a return to the American norm.

Fear of . . . remember when everyone used to answer their phone?

@BobCens: Remember when the damn phone would ring thirty times because you didn’t want to answer it, and answering machines didn’t exist?

@BobCens: Answer phone calls? Clearly you don’t work in show business.

@nojo: Tell us how it was in the old days, gramps. (BTW, ‘They’ have wrought a miracle with the favorites bar in Safari. It will make you sing show tunes and hug Republicans. All right, maybe not the last bit.)

@Benedick: “The Day Pong Came to the Pinball Arcade” is my Great Unwritten Springsteen Song.

@nojo: You are so entirely adorable in a totally uncreepy way.

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