Every Goddamn Year


I live two long blocks from Central Park West, where they blow up the balloons for the fucking Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. And every fucking year I am woken up by fucking helicopters turning around over my 74th Street building as they take pretty TV shots of the fucking balloons. But tomorrow there is a chance, oh please please please, that the fucking balloons will not be in the parade because of high winds.

One other problem? All the fucking Park Slope mommies and daddies infesting the Upper West Side right now so their spawn can see the balloons as they are inflated. With their eight-hundred-dollar strollers. Never seen so many Volvos and Saabs in one place in my life.

Let’s hope the winds are too high for the helicopters to even get off the ground – otherwise they’ll go up just to show you the balloons aren’t there.


10:17 pm • Wednesday • November 27, 2013

Just been out in the garden with the dogs doing the magic wind dance. Sending it your way.

Your welcome, as our bagger friend’s would say.

10:41 pm • Wednesday • November 27, 2013

@Benedick: thanks – the magic wind dance around here usually involves blaming it on one of the cats.

2:19 am • Thursday • November 28, 2013

“What kind of car do you drive? ”

“A Saab 9 3, Areo?. ”

” Oh my god – could you be any more New Hampshire than that?”


4:21 am • Thursday • November 28, 2013

Please tell me this crap will all be over by the time I arrive (3 pm). Thought the UWS would be safe on Thanksgiving. I’m at the Beacon until 12/3 btw.

7:37 am • Thursday • November 28, 2013

Speaking of $800 strollers, is it just me or are those things so much larger than they used to be — fucking tanks taking up huge spaces, and worse, when they can hold two womb fruit, hog an entire damn sidewalk or half of a rail car?

10:47 am • Thursday • November 28, 2013

NO HELICOPTERS! They’re flying the balloons low too because of the wind! Got to sleep until 10:30. Lots of sirens though …. Now if only Spongebob would crash into Yoko Ono’s apartment.

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