Just Make Them Work Next Thursday and They Won’t Need to Eat

Christ on a stick, from a Wal-Mart in Canton, OH:

“Please Donate Food Items Here, so Associates in Need Can Enjoy Thanksgiving Dinner,” read signs affixed to the tablecloths.

The food drive tables are tucked away in an employees-only area. They are another element in the backdrop of the public debate about salaries for cashiers, stock clerks and other low-wage positions at Walmart, as workers in Cincinnati and Dayton are scheduled to go on strike Monday.

Is the food drive proof the retailer pays so little that many employees can’t afford Thanksgiving dinner?

Uh, duh. Yes.

Meanwhile, in other Wal-Mart news:

Prosecutors in Texas have dropped a 2011 drunken driving citation against Wal-Mart Stores Inc. heiress Alice Walton.

The highway patrol officer who pulled over Walton, 63, has been suspended and won’t be available to testify, officials said yesterday. 


The DUI arrest was not Walton’s first.

According to information from the Springdale District Court in Arkansas, Walton was convicted of driving under the influence in a 1998 case.According to the UK’s Independent, she hit a gas meter and told the responding police officer: ‘I’m Alice Walton, bitch!’

Previous news accounts state Walton was also involved in a 1989 wreck in Arkansas that resulted in the death of a 50-year-old woman.  No charges were filed at that time.

[Cleveland Plain Dealer, Daily Mail]



Not to be unpleasantly pedantic but Scrooge, after his night of revelations (which in the story, in a very weird piece of plotting, happen over three nights) gave the Cratchitts a goose, the traditional comestible come Yule. The outrage in the story is that he expects Bob to come to work on Boxing Day. Not so very different from making him work Thanksgiving. But yeah…

“I’m Alice Walton, bitch!” There are times one almost longs for a traditional aristocracy instead of yokels with billions. Let’s hope the Walmart strikes catch on.

@Benedick: Pedantic is our middle name around here.

Never unpleasant.

Alt-text duly updated.


TJ: Meanwhile, send a few bucks over to the Lady Parts Justice fundraiser to support reproductive rights in Texas.

/is it possible to jack one’s own thread?

Well, if any minimum-wage opponents say anything, I can always point to this story. Because pointing out that these same associates are encouraged to accept public assistance, then berated by the RW for doing so, is a part of cognitive dissonance that these same people will also fail to grasp.

” … Walton was convicted of driving under the influence in a 1998 case …” Well if it’s a 1998 case, it should be this one. After all, she’s rich enough.

@mellbell: +1*

*Does anybody even use that any more?

/scurries away/

@SanFranLefty: /is it possible to jack one’s own thread?. I think the answer is yes. Some swear by baby oil.

No one can say we’re not keeping focused.

Meanwhile, McDonalds’ HR is now advising employees whose families are experiencing food shortages or hunger to break their food into smaller pieces so it results in eating less and feeling fuller.

I saw that some Congresscritter was busted for buying cocaine, some Repub Obama-hater.

@Dodgerblue: The freshman GOP congressman struggles with the disease of alcoholism, which apparently makes other drug use okay. No word yet if a drunken stupor was involved.

@SanFranLefty: Smaller plates can help. And lowered expectations.

@Dave H:
It’s the Rob Ford addiction plan. Booze makes everything better.

This whole thread smells like the Dickens.

@Dave H: I read today that he got a year’s probation. Tell that to the young Black guys caught selling crack cocaine.

@Dodgerblue: I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop for this guy, namely that he’s a closet case. Doing coke in Dupont Circle with a couple “acquaintances”?

Mmm, hmm. That screams Friend of Dorothy.

@matador1015: I see what you did there.

@SanFranLefty: I hope to popularize Friend of Monica’s.

Monica = Courtney Cox (Friends. Try to keep up) Her ‘friends’ call her CC. CC stands for Closet Case. Ergo: Friend of Monica.

As in ‘ the gentleman representing the 18th district of the great state of Illinois is proud to be a friend of Monica’s.’ (His website shows him in a handsomely relaxed and butchish pose wearing a lavender shirt. Someone needs to explain straight men to him, bless his heart.)

Must I do everything?

Well here’s a turn-up for the books – as the actress said to the bishop.

While engaged in ‘research’ on my trusty Air I made a google and came up with A COMMENT I MADE HERE IN 2011.

No wonder I drink. I need to drink more. I need to buy a still and install it out back. I need aid baskets from Sherry Lehmann.

@Benedick: On Halloween night, I was sipping Irish whiskey in my front yard when my (gay) neighbor came over to chat. I asked him if he had ever tried Black Bush. He looked startled. I meant this, which I commend to you: http://www.klwines.com/detail.asp?sku=670012

I’m not sure we’re all on board with the drunk thing.

@Dave H: GOP congressman struggles with the disease of alcoholism

Gawker (I think) recently published the PR flack’s guide to substance abuse crisis management press release code words:

Alcoholism = Dehydration and exhaustion
Marijuana = Prescription pills
Cocaine = Alcoholism
Heroin = Cocaine abuse
OD and client still alive = Spending more time with family
OD and client dead = Voluntary transition to after-life opportunities

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