Spoiler Alert: Sirius Dies

We’ll just crib Hermione’s notes.Title: “Harry Potter Schoolbooks: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them / Quidditch Through the Ages”

Author: J.K. Rowling

Rank: 28

Blurb: “The purchase of this book is not tax deductible.”

Review: “Although the wait for 2002 and ‘Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix’ is going to be a hard one for a lot of people, these two brief but fun books should fill the gap admirably as well as supporting a great cause.”

Customers Also Bought: “Flying Cauldron Butterscotch Beer (6 Pack)”

Footnote: Nothing like a movie announcement to goose sales.

Harry Potter Schoolbooks [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

29 comments:

9:49 am • Sunday • September 15, 2013

Harry Potter and the Sinque of Boredom.

Harry Potter Comes Out.

The Hogwarts Guide to Buttsecks.

The Harry Potter Guide to Wittgenstein.

10:17 pm • Sunday • September 15, 2013

@Benedick: Harry Potter and the 100 Mill. Opening.

11:50 pm • Sunday • September 15, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: How do you give notes to J.K. Rowling?

1:07 am • Monday • September 16, 2013

@nojo: Through somebody else’s email account.

8:46 pm • Monday • September 16, 2013

@nojo: HAHAHAHAHAH@Blurb

Last night I was like, “Grrr. This is getting too ridiculous and predictable. Then…”

12:46 am • Tuesday • September 17, 2013

@JNOV: There goes my theory about a Mexican Standoff between Walt, Jesse and Hank.

10:48 pm • Tuesday • September 17, 2013

@nojo: How do I love thee? Let me count the tropes.

11:01 pm • Tuesday • September 17, 2013

/must see teevee/

It’s taken me a few days after viewing to process, but now I’m left with only one question: How can I have accumulated almost forty years on this planet and not have previously seen nor even heard of The Apple?

An ultra-rare cult classic now available on the Netflixes, The Apple follows a young, earnest, fresh-faced Canadian singing couple as they’re eaten alive by the corrupt music industry and a Satanic record producer, Mr. Boogaloo.

Filmed in 1979 in West Germany, but set in America in the far future of 1994, the movie is an insane reflection of what the deranged cokeheads at the tail end of the disco and glam rock era feverishly dreamt that the future had in store. Did I mention that it was originally conceived as a Hebrew musical (!!!)?

Best enjoyed with copious amounts of marijuana, it’s as if Xanadu, Grease, and Mad Max had a three-way glitter baby! Your eyes will srsly pop outta your freakin’ head when you see the ending. FSM save us all.

12:13 am • Wednesday • September 18, 2013

@¡Andrew!: I was watching Samsara, and I fell asleep (easy to do on that movie). THEN I woke up and saw the most scariest and bizarre scene, and I still need to sleep with the lights on.

Arbitrage was shit and now I am totally convinced that Rotten Tomatoes is a shit site.

I can’t take much mind bending right now. And Inception? Mal was right.

@nojo: I was never on the Walt love train. He’s interesting, but he is one sumbitch. It just took a little nudge to get him going.

2:31 am • Wednesday • September 18, 2013

@JNOV: Walt was fun because Walt was badass. We didn’t give a shit about his, um, indiscretions — even letting Jesse’s girlfriend snuff it — because they were without consequence to the other characters we cared about. (Hank got shot? Hank recovered.)

I don’t have a finger in the pulse of America, but I would guess Team Walt disbanded Sunday night. There’s nothing left about him to root for.

8:36 am • Wednesday • September 18, 2013

@nojo: True, but he started abusing his power from the outset when he hunted down Capt’n Cook. The manipulation was so obvious.

The whole thing with Jesse’s girlfriend and unintended consequences — some serious foreshadowing.

So much of the show is so smart. Choosing meth, The Devil Drug. Throwing in some humor to keep us kind of going, and throwing in people that “needed” to die. Walt getting Mr. Chicken Man? Loved it. But why did I love it?

This show better not be about self-reflection (it is). Why did I rationalize Walt’s behavior? It never squared, but I did. Because of the cancer and the desire to leave something for his family. Because somehow his company was stolen and he was relegated to teaching brats and working at a car wash. Something that hasn’t been explained, but the writers had me thinking surely it wasn’t Walt’s fault. Nothing was. It could all be rationalized if you turned the other way.

Walt would have loved to have been buried with his money and tell his family to go to hell, and he has.

I wanted to be Heisenberg but why? There’s a little Heisenberg is everyone? Maybe? But how much?

1:17 pm • Wednesday • September 18, 2013

@JNOV: Because of the cancer and the desire to leave something for his family.

And there’s the trick. They had to start off Walt with a Sympathetic Motive, so that taking him down notch by notch would make you progressively squeamish. “Yes, but…”

Vince Gilligan has repeatedly said he’s amazed at how long (much of) the audience remained on Walt’s side — much longer than Gilligan himself. (Might have been the girlfriend for him.) But as the show developed, the cancer premise was revealed to be a smokescreen — Walt’s never had the opportunity to be a World-Class Asshole, and now he’s going for it.

So you get this series of moments that tests Team Walt’s resolve: The girlfriend? Poisoning the kid? Creepy Dude shooting the kid in the desert? What will it take for Team Walt to finally let go?

I’ve been telling the neighbor that the only way for the show to resolve satisfactorily is for Walt to somehow win when losing. He has to ultimately lose — drama requires that — but it won’t work if the DEA just shows up at his door, arrests him, and fade to black.

But that was before Sunday. Even if he’s still sitting on ten million, Walt has now definitively lost, and there’s no clever redemption at hand. He’s fallen so hard — a victim of his own desperation — that all that remains is to see how he’s taken down. It still needs to be satisfying — appropriate to the show and the character — but it’s over. Walt can escape everything but himself.

1:26 pm • Wednesday • September 18, 2013

@nojo:
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

See Sam Walton.

9:30 pm • Wednesday • September 18, 2013

@nojo: It has to be Jesse.

10:28 pm • Wednesday • September 18, 2013

No, Jesse is too predictable. Who could come back from the dead? Did they ever explain why young Gus wasn’t killed down in Mexico but his partner was? The killer guy said he knew who Gus was, and that’s why he didn’t kill him. So who was Gus?

It would be kickass if Mike’s granddaughter got Walt. And to think I used to dislike Skyler, especially at the beginning and when she started laundering money. BUT when Walt insists on moving back in and basically terrorizes her, I really started to hate Walt.

I don’t care how many times they show him in tighty whities — he’s no Everyman.

10:30 pm • Wednesday • September 18, 2013

@ManchuCandidate: What — when he was DA?

ETA: I thought that was the guy from Law and Order.

3:53 pm • Thursday • September 19, 2013

In the scene where Walt is yelling at wifey while the police are listening in, Walt is crying. I think the unfinished business is still leaving a nest egg behind in some way so that he goes out not all bad but still a badass.

8:47 pm • Thursday • September 19, 2013

@JNOV: Gus was connected to a larger, more powerful cartel.

8:48 pm • Thursday • September 19, 2013

@DElurker: Hoom. Code maybe? I’d be disappointed by that…

9:00 pm • Thursday • September 19, 2013

OMG–it looks just like Manhattan!

Hell Now A Thriving Epicenter Of Gay Culture

“The streets of fire and brimstone are full of so many great cafés, restaurants, bakeries, independent bookstores, and of course plenty of gay bars and clubs. There’s just so much to do.”

“My favorite place is this wonderful little promenade along the River Styx, where couples always take walks together on the weekends,” continued (Daniel) Edelson. “I’d say this is easily the most LGBT-friendly place I’ve ever lived.”

In stark contrast to Hell’s ongoing embrace of persecuted groups, sources confirmed that Heaven remains the most bigoted and intolerant place in the universe.

9:16 pm • Thursday • September 19, 2013

@¡Andrew!: Hehe, “The Ninth Circle” was a famous Manhattan Gay bar, long gone by the time I was there, but legendary for its excesses.

9:34 pm • Thursday • September 19, 2013

@DEFightingBlueHen: Still love him, huh? :-P Sometimes people cry when they’re angry. But let’s say he feels remorse. The pissedoffedness was real, too. How *dare* someone oppose him? He’s beyond redemption.

@tomm: do you know that or are you guessing? If he was part of another cartel, why would Gus go to that guy? I figured he was related to Pinochet or something.

10:12 pm • Thursday • September 19, 2013

Hokay. Time to see how long it takes to get iOS7 on my poor 4. If you never hear from

10:32 pm • Thursday • September 19, 2013

Ooooooooo! Shiny!

10:32 pm • Friday • September 20, 2013

And that’s without parallax view and AirDrop!

12:46 pm • Saturday • September 21, 2013

@JNOV: Wossname, the cartel boss hints at it to Gus right after he kills his partner.

Was it just me, or did they make it seem like those guys were lovers inthat episode?

ADD: Wikipedia says that they left his past intentionally vague, “like the suitcase in Pulp Fiction“.

1:06 pm • Saturday • September 21, 2013

@matador1015: And a clunky interface. At least in early betas. Haven’t tried the release version on my toy Development 4 yet.

1:07 pm • Saturday • September 21, 2013

TJ/ Nojo, how is it that I played the video for “Roar” on another tab in my browser , then switched back to this tab and got a Katy Perry ad instantly? Too creepy for words.

“Roar” is pretty good though.

3:19 pm • Saturday • September 21, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Too creepy for words.

Google’s new slogan.

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