Carlos Danger

Please go away: “Some of these things happened before my resignation, some of them happened after, but the fact is that that was also the time that my wife and I were working through some things in our marriage,” Weiner said at a press conference in New York.

Carlos. Danger. Bless his sex-chat-loving heart.

Dude. Get help.

As a sexual sub-set there’s a lot to be said for rail-thin, abrasive Jews.

All I can say is thank god all this social media stuff wasn’t around when I was sowing my wild oats.

Carlos Danger is the Ron Mexico of politics.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ron%20mexico

Carlos Danger…because Dirty Sanchez was already taken?

Speaking of political leaders who are utterly inept at treating women in a respectful manner, WTH is up with Stinque’s World Domination HQ’s local mayor? Isn’t putting women in headlocks as a form of flirting something that most boys outgrow in about fourth grade?

@flippin eck:
Still better than having a flabby football fumbling power abusing crackhead as mayor.

@flippin eck: We have a scandal in Portlandia as well: the chair of the county commissioners was having an affair with an employee. She was forced to resign, he’s refusing to do so, even though the other four commissioners (all women) have requested his resignation. They seem to have some sort of Politics=Power=Penis complex.

@Mistress Cynica: The big thing about penises – as it were – is that they inflate (unless you’re a Republican) and they’re fun to play with. I know the same can be said for lady bits (unless you’re a Republican) but boys can grab hold of it (or use thumb and pinkie if you’re a Republican) and wag it around till it drizzles out its payload. Sure, one’s boyfriend claims the wad hits the headboard but seriously.

So… Rock paper scissors. Cock paper vagina.

What is paper? Taint?

Rock taint scissors. Cock taint vagina.

Why thank you yes, I have had a cocktail or two.

@flippin eck: The joke is that nobody in Sandy Eggo gives a shit about local politics. If we did, we’d move to someplace cold.

@Benedick: Which beats which though?

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: The vagina, always. As long as men are willing to jizz in paper cups, we really don’t need you for much, and that scares the straights. Even before y’all were wanking in dr’s bathrooms to outdated Hustler magazines and before humans developed language, the ability to give birth scared the shit out of y’all’s lizard brains in many cultures. The birth of misogyny.

Customary Present Company Excluded disclaimer, of course.

And someone please turn of the fucking sun. (In November, remind me what the sun feels like.)

@JNOV: Feel the Dim. Taste the Dim. Embrace the Dim. It’s the Northwest Way.