Mitt Romney Challenges America to Bet How Far Down His Throat He Can Stuff His Foot

Our guest columnist will be filming a boner-pill commercial before the end of next year.

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what… These are people who pay no income tax.

SECRET VIDEO: Romney Tells Millionaire Donors What He REALLY Thinks of Obama Voters [Mother Jones]

One thing that old Josef Stalin once said (besides “It takes a brave man NOT to be a Hero Of the Soviet Union) is that “quantity has a quality of its own.”

It should also be pointed out that many of his supporters (for the stupidest of reasons I might add), The Teabaggers, are among that 47%.

I think the Twitters are going to explode with this story.

Mitt has this extraordinary timing: As soon as one controversy gets boring, up pops another.

Of course, the video has been making the rounds for quite some time. But still.

L.A. cops close down a freeway for Romney, losing him another 1/4 million votes.

@Dodgerblue: Damn the fucking 405. 415? 519? 407? 55? 911? Bugger. Who knows what those streets are called?

And the Ann Romney topless pics drop in 54, 53, 52…

@Benedick: You can take the 405 to the 101 to the 170 to the 110 to the 10 and then back to the 405, if you’re so inclined, either clockwise or counterclockwise. The 170 is known to locals as the Hollywood Freeway, in respect of where Catt lives.

@Dodgerblue: Don’t forget to cut off your Slauson.

@nojo: Then there’s the Stocker crosstown to get to LAX.

I’ve already gotten a Demo fundraising email re the 47%. Took them what, 3 hours?

@Dodgerblue: Haven’t seen that one yet. I did receive an invitation from Ann to fly on Mitt’s jet, but it wasn’t quite strong enough to run with a Seamus gag.

@nojo: Is that where you got the heads up about the Ann topless pics? You run with an exclusive crowd!

@Dodgerblue: I also leak to Politico when it suits me.

I’m just so happy. I love you all. I even love Catt. All of him.

What’s with this new commenting system on teh iPhone? It’s different! I’m old, I don’t like different things! I like things that are the same!

@nojo: But will it matter? Sharp elbows on foreign affairs for even one debate, and he could own a couple of news cycles. Black Eagle has mostly dodged direct hits on the the global front, but it’s a shitstorm out there beyond our shores.

@biscuit. You assume too much intelligence on the part of the American electorate. They think being informed and involved is paying attention to all the guttersnipe back-and-forth the pundits engage in- the kind of thing the Romney campaign, secure in its entitled sense of power, couldn’t engage in to save its life. Patricians don’t snark, they sneer, and sneering plays badly with the hoi-polloi.

Meanwhile, the middle east burns, and it’s hard to tell how it will shake out. Better Bammerz than the other guy though.

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: Scroll to the bottom of the page, tap the switch. I’ll try not to point out that the mobile site is only three years old.

@Beggars Biscuit: It is mattering, and it’s showing up in the polls. I don’t remember the last time Mitt had a good week.

The people in the ceiling… why are they telling me to join the priesthood? And why is Mrs. Patrick Campbell among them?

Mitt’s about to hold some sort of press conference. Really. At 10pm ET.


Mitt takes three questions, distances himself from “not elegantly stated” expression but not substance, walks off.

But never mind that. The mini-presser itself — complete with podium — was the tell. Mitt’s scared shitless.

Mitt must go where the blue meets reserved seating. I think that can be said. Barbara Walters is not as much fun as she thinks she is. Highways lead everywhere. But most places you don’t want to go. Wait. It’s the squirrels.

@Dodgerblue: Couldn’t tell from the video. We’ll have to wait for an offstage photographer.

@Benedick: If I imagine your comments as Mitt Thought Balloons, everything makes sense.

@nojo: Awkward hugs all round. But no touching below the buckle. Except for Craig. Fuck yeah Craig. Your people need you.

(Unless you’re into awkward Mormon daddies who walk like girls. They’re so strict.)

Wait. I hear singing.

@Beggars Biscuit: And there’s your answer: an emergency late-night three-question presser.

Here’s where, for the first time, I really wanna read Politico’s take: What prompted that? Early returns from daily polling? Emails from pants-shitting trusted advisors?

Team Mitt had already put out a statement, after all. But something led them to conclude that wasn’t enough to get in front of the story.

@nojo: Mother Jones’ source says he has something even better for tomorrow. A wild-assed guess: racial nastiness.

@Benedick: You give me fever / fever in the morning / fever all through the night.

@Dodgerblue: Nice of AP photographers to tweet photos…

So: Doesn’t look like a Smirk from here — more like a Worried Grin. Certainly lacks the Smug Confidence of the post-Libya presser.

@Dodgerblue: David Corn was hamming it up on both Rachel and Lawrence. There’s about an hour of tape, and they’re not going to waste it all at once.

Mitt is his own voter suppression program.

@nojo: Which raises the question: why is he worried? Does he have advisers who speak to him honestly about the attitudes of swing voters? Does he think this will hurt him with his base — many of whom probably agree with what he said?

@Dodgerblue: Yeah, I’m trying to figure that out…

Let’s begin with a premise that campaigns don’t lie to themselves — they save the spin for public consumption. Yet one of the boasts today is that they were doubling down on the base — and the leaked video played very well with the RedState crowd, just like the Libya comments.

So I can’t see advisers, on their own, raising a red flag. Instead, some fact on the ground scared them shitless — and was developing quick enough to require a live response. Daily internal polling? Anger from fellow Republicans who were suddenly getting an earful from their constituents?

Something set off an alarm. Otherwise he would have just waited for the morning shows.

@Dodgerblue: Or maybe it was — cue irony — high-roller donors. Mitt’s saying shit you’re not supposed to say.

@nojo: And they tell him he’s fucking up the campaign, so he goes out and holds a hasty, panic-stricken press comference? If that’s how it played out, he’s even less competent than I thought. I think he’s holing up in Orange County tonight, halfway between the Peoples’ Republic of Santa Monica and Stinque World Domination HQ.

@Dodgerblue: Politico must have the whole newsroom on it by now.

Hmmm… Maybe I should stake out the La Jolla Palace…

@Dodgerblue: New video at midnight PT. Right after Colbert!

@nojo: I wonder when Mother Jones will drop the next #Romneyturd. Should I stay up all night? You know what would be really cool — if he came up to Santa Monica tomorrow and held a barking mad presser at the Carousel on the Pier, the one you’ve all seen in Mad Mad Mad etc World. I could walk to it from my office and then cruise Hot Dog On A Stick and get some of their great lemonade.

@mellbell: That’s exactly my wife’s take, that they’re too dumb to know. But that doesn’t explain the panicky presser.

@Dodgerblue: not smirking here but his usually perfectly shellacked hair looks like he’s been running his hands through it.

So what’s the racial issue other than saying he wished he had “real Mexican parents” because then he’d win the election? I think he’s smart enough to know better than to drop a n-bomb, but maybe he uncomfortably riffed on the whole “Hecho en Mexico” birth certificate thing?

@mellbell: Perhaps, but there are a lot of people like my mom who turned 65 last week and is overjoyed to finally be on Medicare and get social security. Granted she’s a big Black Eagle and socialized medicine supporter, but every day there’s more people collecting those “entitlements” and not paying taxes.

@mellbell: Having lived through Reagan, I’ll let nobody underestimate Americans more than me, but knee-jerk underestimation is too safe a default position, at least in the aggregate. This plays wrong — not for any rational, identifiable reason, not because “Mitt insulted Americans”, but for how he comes off while doing so.

It’s a gut thing. Reagan really was a Great Communicator, whatever you think of his communications. And it was all in the presentation.

Imagine Mitt saying “I paid for this microphone”: Doesn’t work at all. Mitt’s a whiner.

Also, if Americans were that stupid, we wouldn’t have a Black Man in the White House. We’ve already seen this movie.

@Dodgerblue: Kos has the full quote on the Mexican grandparents.


Meanwhile, how about those Giants?

@nojo: The only thing that Mittens responds to is money. I suspect that some big-pocketed donors are freaking and geeking out, and he was told to go out and give the press conference that just made things worse. Pass the popcorn.

@Beggars Biscuit: About Last Week, Pew released a poll today that scored reactions to Mitt’s Libya fluff 2-1 against.

This was among people “familiar” with the matter. But play that out: If you’re not interested in foreign matters, and you have a friend who is, your friend’s going to explain it for you. And odds are — 2-1 — your friend’s explanation isn’t going to make Mitt look good.

That’s how this stuff, um, trickles down. We don’t live in vacuums.

@Dodgerblue: “I’ve already gotten a Demo fundraising email re the 47%. Took them what, 3 hours?”

Did the Obama campaign ask for 47 bucks? Because if they did, I may just have to write a check to give them points for wit.

New video at 6am ET, not midnight PT. Darn.

@nojo: That explains why no presents under the tree yet.

Here’s what I want to know: are reporters and political comenters going to do the honest thing and point out that:

1) unemployment sits at about 8%, so the 47% of non-taxpayers Mitt is talking about can’t possibly coincide with the number of mythical welfare queens sitting on their asses getting checks.

2) A significant number of the people Mitt is discounting are retirees living on Social Security, whose benefits combined with other sources of income are too low to qualify them for Federal Income Taxes. So, you’ve worked hard all your life for little pay. Now you’re 67 and retired. You don’t have much, but thanks to Social Security you’ve got enough to live with a little dignity. But as far as Mitt is concerned, you’re just another one of the moochers voting for Obama so you can sponge off decent, hard working Americans.

The vast majority of the people who Romney holds in contempt are simply the working poor, who get up at 6:00 AM like the rest of us, take their kids to the schoolbus, and then run off to work to bus tables, or paint houses, or drive taxis. They pay no income taxes, not because they’re moochers, but because the Federal Minimum Wage is not high enough even to lift a family of four above the official poverty line.


@Serolf Divad:
I used to pay a lot in taxes. I’d rather pay taxes than be where I currently am right now.

What this does is provide a rallying cry for Obama supporters and possibly cut the enthusiasm down on his 47%er base of Teabaggers (especially the ones who realize who Mittens is actually talking about… don’t laugh there might be some.)

@mellbell: Meh. I doubt that most voters care whether there is a one-state, two-state or any solution to the Israeli-Palestinian question. Sounds to me that Mittens was just pandering to wealthy Jews in the room.

@Serolf Divad: My partner makes about 45 cents above minimum wage on a part time shitty retail job. Without me, he’d be on food stamps. Without me, he would not be able to pay his rent. Poverty will keep us together.

@rptrcub: Isn’t that what held many marriages together years ago? The folks that couldn’t stand each other but financially couldn’t live apart? You know, the good old days like some right wingers always say that we need to go back to. Not talking about your situation of course. Just saying.

@mellbell: “On the other hand, I got a call from a former secretary of state. I won’t mention which one it was, but this individual said to me, you know, I think there’s a prospect for a settlement between the Palestinians and the Israelis after the Palestinian elections. I said, “Really?” And, you know, his answer was, “Yes, I think there’s some prospect.” And I didn’t delve into it.

Because really, when receiving an unsolicited Golden Ticket to resolve years of kvetching, why ask for details?

@Dodgerblue: To me, this was the horrifying thing in that video:

Romney did note there was another perspective on this knotty matter. He informed his donors that a former secretary of state—he would not say who—had told him there was “a prospect for a settlement between the Palestinians and the Israelis.” Romney recalled that he had replied, “Really?” Then he added that he had not asked this ex-secretary of state for further explanation.

He has NO interest in following up on that? None? That’s revealing–and frightening.

@Beggars Biscuit: @Mistress Cynica: Given the use of “his” to refer to the Secretary of State, I’m guessing it was Colin Powell.

@Serolf Divad: Maybe it’s my years of working in the food service industry, but I always wonder what the hell the catering staff is thinking when shit like what Mittens was saying is going on around them? Besides waiting tables at hoity toity restaurants, I worked on some catering assignments at rich peoples’ houses. The things that would be said and done in front of me at some events, as if I were a piece of furniture were astounding. Generally I was thinking, “Jesus Christ what a tacky living room,” or “Asshole,” or “how much longer before we can go have a beer in the driveway?”

@SanFranLefty: Why I loved the dinner party scene in Borat.

I don’t know if he believes this nonsense or was just saying it because he figured they wanted to hear it. Either way, his complete absence of conviction is appalling.

@Serolf Divad: who get up at 6:00 AM like the rest of us

Speak for yourself.

@SanFranLefty: More likely Henry the K. Powell doesn’t seem to have the hubris to offer unsolicited money back guarantees to such a mediocre candidate.

@Mistress Cynica: Our cats look a bit alike, as well.

@Beggars Biscuit: There was chatter over the weekend that Colin hadn’t yet decided on an endorsement — leaning Mitt, but can’t commit — so it could have been him.

Generally, yeah — this morning’s tape isn’t going to move any needles. We already know that Mitt is in Bibi’s pocket.

Mitt’s doing Fox at 4pm ET. Shit must really stink at HQ.

MoJo has now posted the full video. Like I didn’t have anything better to do tonight.

@SanFranLefty: @Beggars Biscuit: @nojo: Some guy Sully cited thinks it’s James Baker. Whoever it is, they can’t be too happy about this.

@mellbell: Which would be the first time I’ve heard his name this millennium.

@nojo: After stealing the 2000 election for Shrub he’s been resting on his laurels.

@Walking Still: @mellbell: Yeah, it’s all coming back now. I usually get stuck on the Brooks Brothers Riot.

@Beggars Biscuit: Jesus, I forgot Kissinger was still alive.

@Walking Still: Well hello, stranger!

@nojo: Two wars, two Supreme Court justices, a terrorist attack, and countless martinis have made 2000 a distant memory. I still remember the 2004 election, though. I was very drunk that night.

From the comments @gawker (could not have said it better myself):

TheOmbudsman and 53 more Reply
Mitt Romney’s campaign is so dead, the Mormons just baptized it.

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