I’m Paul Ryan, and I’m Keeping My Options Open

Paul Ryan’s first Congressional-reelection ad, posted Wednesday.

[Ryan for Congress]

That’s pretty slick, actually. Ryan gets the benefit of appearing somewhat engaged in his reelection campaign while the casual viewer, overlooking the caption at the end, thinks they’re watching an unusually warm and fuzzy ad for the presidential race.

Romney is annoying to listen to because he is such a blatant liar but Ryan’s voice makes me want to break things.

What he needs to keep shut is his mouth.

Pity me. After months of delay I am trying to read a musical written by an acquaintance in London (an experienced newspaper man so you’d think he’d know better, right? RIGHT?). So far I see a cast of at least 60. Let’s not even begin to consider costume changes or the budget for wigs. Or the impossible scenic demands. “Darling, no, we can’t ‘Cut’ in the theatre. Neither can we ‘Fade out’. We can, however, get drunk in the green room.” Happy Villagers litter the script and characters begin speeches with “As you know… ” (If he knows why the fuck are you telling him?) It is 145 pages long and I only have 3/4 of a bottle of vodka in the house. I have reached page 3. And no it’s not going to get better. And I was having such a nice vacation.

On the plus side I’m sitting in the garden and the pugs are digging up the hostas.

@Benedick: Send me a few pages. I’m going to a baseball game tonight during which my pathetically underperforming home team will do little or nothing of note, so I’ll have time to read. I promise not to spill any warm, overpriced beer on them.

@Dodgerblue: You do want to remain semi-sane? It gets worse as it goes on. Yes there is Hitler. Yes there is Goebbels. Yes there are discussions of penises (not in the good way). Yes you wonder what you ever did to deserve this. Not unlike the Anshluss. Or Spiderman: teh Musichle

@Benedick: Well, I see your point — that’s what I’m trying to avoid. Tsuris, annoyance and existential whatever I can have just by watching the fucking game. The last (lousy) game I attended, there was a woman down the aisle from me doing a crossword puzzle on her iPad. That’s what it’s come to.

@karen marie still has her eyes tight shut: He has a very punchable voice. The dipshit makes Eddie Haskell and Steve Urkel sound positively melodic by comparison.

If the Dems are smart they’ll specifically target Ryan’s district, spending lots of money there and forcing him to campaign for his congressional seat. The more time he spends shoring up his house seat the more obvious it will be that even Romney’s VP choice thinks the guy’s a loser.

Also, if Ryan loses his house seat and Romney loses the election it’ll just make the victory… oh that much sweeter!

@Serolf Divad: Safe seat — 2-1 victories, more or less. Plus, his is the Big Family in town.

@Serolf Divad: … If the Dems are smart… hahahahaha. Snorting premium liquor through my nose onto the pugs. Hahahahha. Splort.

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