Bubba Strikes Back

We don’t recall when “wonk” entered polite discourse, but if we had to place a No-Google bar bet on it, we’d date it from 1992. Sax and Cookies may have captured the popular imagination, but we still remember the stories after Clinton chose Gore: two policy geeks infatuated with each other on the campaign bus, challenging each other with their mastery of mind-numbing detail. You still see it when Clinton makes a casual appearance on, say, the Daily Show: America’s Dude just can’t help himself.

Clinton’s so good at talking, he makes you forget the blowjob. And, thanks to the example of his successor, the blowjob is barely a, um, stain on his reputation. That’s now the good old days, when we had nothing worse to worry about.

Which is why Bill Clinton can give a prime-time address tonight and nobody will snicker. And why our DNC Open Thread/Open Wide won’t be nearly as fun as it could be in a better world.

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Today’s Controversies! God, Jerusalem, weather. Hey, gotta talk about something.

Tweety to Julian Castro: “Why are there so many Birthers in Texas?”

Orly’s from Orange County.

And speaking of today’s mindless chatter: Hillary 2016!

By which time she’ll be 68. Not a deal-breaker, but if Mitt loses, we’ll be eight years into the Post-Boomer Era.

Groundhog Day: Hillary Clinton, Jeb Bush, Andrew Cuomo all being touted for 2016.

BUBBA, DEMAND A NUREMBERG TRIAL FOR FUCKING CHENEY AND HIS PET DOG GW BUSH!

You could say Chainsaw turns it up to 11, but that presumes 1 through 10 exist on his dial.

@nojo: Chainsaw’s dial starts at 11.

I don’t know what’s whiter – DB’s AG’s teeth, or her outfit.

And WTF with Rahm? Did he quit the Mayorship in order to run a SuperPAC, or just suspend his duties? He joked on PBS that he “can’t keep a job”.

Barry indahouse tonight! Can’t wait for the uncomfortable sloppy kiss with Bill.

Wow, Cristina Aguilera has really let herself go…

Add: Cubans swallow their vowels, so it’s “pa’delante”, or more efficient still “pa’lante”.

In my Fantasy Convention, the Dems just showed a moving video about prosecuting Bush war criminals.

You people are actually watching that?!

You realize there’s football on the teevee right now, right? Twenty-two poorly educated men beating the shit out of each other is so much more civilized.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Sport? Meh. I prefer mainlining boring politicians pretending to be boring actors giving boring Oscar speeches.

@nojo: Empires don’t do that. If you want a list of all the war criminals not prosecuted under the British Empire give me a couple weeks to compile it. Only in America, and in certain Left Bank cafés, does anyone think warmongers, aka Empire Builders, aka, Wealth Builders, get brought to trial. Unless you’re prepared to go full Robespierre on their ass. And end up with Europe’s proto Hitler (not to be confused with Provo Nevada) running the show. Just sayin’.

Hilary/Castro 2o16!! Woo!

Lovin’ that: ‘just sayin’ ‘ locution. You can say anything, no matter how insulting, but the addition of ‘just sayin” abnegates one from responsibility.

This comment is 4th grade approved. Just sayin’.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Sure, but it’s just Dallas against Eli. To paraphrase Political Nojo, I’ll start paying attention this Sunday – anything earlier is just chatter.

Some ex-Bain folks slamming (R)Money now. Ooh, and a steelworker! The union folks and all of the Latina Dreamers are making my liberal heart just a few sizes bigger tonight. Bubba is going to blow the roof off the joint, I just know it.

Add: just sayin

@Beggars Biscuit: Rahm quit working for the Obama campaign to work for the superPAC. Apparently running Chicago can either be done in his spare time or outsourced.

@Beggars Biscuit: What? Tonight’s still pre-season?

Also: Everyone’s being really boring tonight to make Bubba sound that much better.

And: Just sayin’.

Hey, look – a harlot! I hope she didn’t fake it the last time we financed her sex life.

Just sayin

@Beggars Biscuit:
Rooting for Eli in big D. Is Fluke not pronounced like the whale flipper?

I think at some point I said that Mittens’ tax returns would appear, as if by magic. Is this that time?

@nojo: No, it’s an official game. But the season really starts when my team goes up against RML’s team this Sunday.

@blogenfreude: That has Plumbers written all over it.

It’s nice to hear Sandra Fluke in her own voice, instead of dubbed by everybody else.

Also, the DNC pushed her back a half-hour so she could open network prime time.

Your move, Rush.

@texrednface: Flooooooook.

Just sayin’ with an O-face.

Elizabeth Warren should play Tina Fey’s mother.

“I’m Bill Clinton, and I’d like the next 45 minutes of your evening.”

Bet Bill is pissed they didn’t let him come out to “Fanfare for the Common Man.”

Leave the money on the dresser, America.

Wow. I was screwing around for most of the evening and finally tuned in to C-Span just as Clinton walked out to the podium. What a guy!

@Beggars Biscuit: Hillary’s in East Timor tonight. Just, y’know…

@karen marie still has her eyes tight shut: Michelle did a couple of eye rolls…frustration with Bill or ecstasy?

All I can say is “Damn!” It’s been twenty years since I attended a Clinton rally. Bill Clinton may actually be “The Most Interesting Man in the World”. I’ve never seen arithmetic wielded like a rapier before.

@Dave H: It took forty years, but I finally understand what “Happy Warrior” means.

@nojo: FWIW, I nodded off for the final eight minutes so I’m glad I took the under.

As with the rest of America, I stayed for only one of two things: Barry’s surprise appearance, and to see if the initial throat clearing and unusually red face meant Bubba was going to have an MI on stage, live.

@Dave H: @nojo: Bill Clinton’s father’s last name was Blythe. (Clinton is his stepfather’s name.) From all accounts of his goings-on, it was a case of Blythe by name, blithe by nature. I saw a few interviews with his mother, who impressed me as being rather blithe herself, as in “devil-may-care.” He always talks much too long when he gives a speech, but even so the speeches are worth hearing.

Wow. That’s what I call a speech.

@texrednface: I took the eye-rolls as remembered irritation with whatever Repub nonsense Bubba was talking about.

@Benedick: He is the most natural politician I have ever seen. Even though the speech was long, it didn’t seem that way to me because I was so interested in what he was saying. He was making statistics interesting. That’s a gift. The way he feeds off a crowd and radiates energy is fascinating to watch.

@Mistress Cynica: He was making statistics interesting.

Fallows says the comparison should be to sports-talk radio, where everybody’s a wonk, and everybody finds statistics interesting.

@Mistress Cynica: It’s only long if it’s boring. He wasn’t boring at all.

@nojo: I can’t agree about sports radio (there is such a thing? and people listen to it? is this widely known?) because his subtext was always the moral implications of the policies, not just facts for the sake of facts. Plus, I liked the armageddonish feel to the evening: if they get in you will all die in a gutter. About time the Democrats found some urgency in their message.

@Benedick: I’m taking Fallows’ word for it, since I listen to jazz all day, but the subtext of sports-talk is context: Facts marshaled to make a point. (This team will win because, this pitcher is better against this batter because…)

Of course you don’t get moral implications (unless we’re arguing about the Yankees budget), but Fallows is arguing that Americans aren’t afraid of getting into the statistical weeds. Politicians just need to learn how to present the case.

@nojo: Now this Fallows person… is he connected with this talk radio thingy?

@Benedick: James Fallows of the Atlantic. Truly respected politics/foreign affairs dude. Plus Sport, apparently.

@nojo: Darling, one only has so much fuck to give in one day.

@Benedick: He’s a China expert, among other things. Not that I will ever truly understand why it matters which faction of the CCP is in power or whether the yuan continues to be devalued, but his coverage of such issues is always top-notch.

@mellbell: And so his connection to this sport radio thingy is a way to get through China blocks? Not unlike PG Wodehouse broasting in Germany? And so ‘Yankees’ is code for ‘fuck with yuan/dollar exchange rate and you will be consumed in a nuclear fireball, motherfucker?’

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