The Importance of Being Shameless

Every time we try to write something cogent about Paul Ryan’s speech last night, we get about three sentences in before we get stuck on LYING SACK OF SHIT, because to say anything else would be, well, dishonest. So please enjoy instead this demonstration of Nellie the Sea Otter stacking cups, because it expresses a simple truth that modern Republicans appear to be incapable of.

[via Know Your Meme]

OT: Ignoring the chipper NPR headline, apparently the presence of the Log Cabin Republicans made things worse ghey-wise when drawing up the GOP Mein Kampf platform.

Speaking of shameless, I give you Father Benedict Groeschel, reminding us that nobody blames the victim like the Catholics:

The conversation took an interesting turn, however, when the editor asked about the 78-year-old’s work with sexual abuse perpetrators.

“People have this picture in their minds of a person planning to — a psychopath,” Groeschel said. “But that’s not the case. Suppose you have a man having a nervous breakdown, and a youngster comes after him. A lot of the cases, the youngster — 14, 16, 18 — is the seducer.”

Pressed for clarification, the New York State-based religious leader explained that kids looking for father figures might be drawn to priests to fill a hole.

@al2o3cr: “To fill the hole” wins today’s prize for most unfortunate choice of phrase.

I’m just going to rewatch this video allll day and daydream that I have this woman’s job. It’s not too late to become a marine biologist, is it?

@flippin eck: We’re going to need a lot more cute animal pics/videos between now and November.

@Mistress Cynica: Thought the same thing, and tbogg wins for best p0st title so far this election cycle.

@Mistress Cynica: Liars are so boring. Everything out there today is Paul Ryan Lied, or The Media Didn’t Say Paul Ryan Lied, or Obama Lied About Paul Ryan Lying.

What’s interesting — barely — is that this was a Romney Campaign speech, served up for Ryan like Palin’s was served up for her. (Palin’s a much better performer, but never mind that.) So this is what we’re getting for the next ten weeks: A Parade of Whoppers. And the last thing I want to do is spend all my time shrieking about that. Others are paid to state the obvious.

On the other hand: Boy howdy, the debates are gonna be a riot.

@nojo: I think I’m actually more excited about Biden/Smithers than the main card.

@Mistress Cynica: You might be right — the main card will be Mitt lying, and Obama saying some polite form of “there you go again.” As long as Barry doesn’t go all Weenie Jimmy, he can just sit back and enjoy Mitt destroying himself.

But the veep debate? Totally unpredictable. Well, Ryan’s predictable — lie lie lie — but I don’t have a take on how Plugz will respond. Unlike 2008, he doesn’t have to be chivalrous.

@nojo: easy to get sick of those point-and-look posts: 1) find news story on latest outrage; 2) cut/paste 2 paragraphs of same into post; 3) lead line/sentence/paragraph along the lines of “if you think X was stupid, get a load of Y”; 4) tag line saying things can only get worse. Also too, a photo showing Paul Ryan is dumb, or Chris Christie is fat. It’s tiresome.

@blogenfreude: Unlike the Chattering Class, I was impressed with Christie — in a Political Theater way, of course. Dude knows how to deliver, and would have made a compelling veep candidate. (Christie turned down Mitt. Christie’s not stupid.)

In that alternate universe, I probably would have reached for Fat Fuck sooner or later, although I like reserving that for Rush. And really, Christie can be compelling despite the obvious — he distracts you from his visual. I found myself thinking it would be a cheap shot to go after him over his weight. Respect Not Love is right: He deserves a better caricature.

@blogenfreude: Ryan is weird. He’s got those Paul Newman baby blues, but they’re trapped in an Alfred E. Neuman face. I still don’t have a take on it, other than unsettling.

Not yet officially confirmed — it’s a surprise! — but everybody’s pointing to Clint Eastwood as tonight’s Mystery Date.

@nojo: The NYC media catches Christie bullying people a lot. And he’s just plain obstinate when it comes to things that will make his constituents’ lives better.

@blogenfreude: He’s a bullying asshole, no doubt.

Hold on, wait a minute…


There. Save that for 2016.

@nojo: There weren’t any older white men available.

As for Ryan v Palin: her ass is better – or at least we were given a better view of it with all those tracking low-level shots from behind aiming it seems for Paris. Ryan needs to counter with his pecs. I’d suggest a sweat-drenched wife-beater for his next appearance. That he can shred dramatically to demonstrate his commitment to the MC. And he should definitely wear more boot-cut jeans. Reagan with a 6-pack. I smell sizzle.

@Benedick: Paul Ryan wears the tightest polo shirts in the business. Just add water.

@nojo: When is his profile from a gay dating service going public? Or are the Dems saving it for 2016?

@nojo: Well now why have I not seen this? That seems wrong. Aaron Schock was today interviewed ironically outside a gay bathhouse in Tampa suggesting that Ryan should let us all feast our eyes on The Bod as away to stiffen support. To firm up the base. To pitch a big tent.

Have I found a candidate I could get behind?

I wouldn’t fuck Paul Ryand with Lindsey Graham’s air-headed twit skull.

Wait, yes of course I would under those specific circumstances.

I read a thought-provoking interview with Dmitry Orlov (shirtless!) recently in which he stated that we should feel sorry for our politicians because the American public demands to be lied to, and if the politicians stop lying, then the crazier elements of the population will assassinate them. Sad, but true. It’s a helluva lot of work keeping those delusional right-wing fantasies going in the face of reality’s overwhelming liberal/sanity bias.

P.S. He’s welcome to drill my peak oil reserves anytime.

The interview is like 50,000 words–they should have published it in The New Yorker–so here’s the section to which I referred.

DO: I think you’re too hard on American politicians because look at the people they’re governing. If you tried to rule these people you would probably end up just like them. It’s a completely thankless task unless you find some benefit in it for yourself. So the politicians are hard pressed to make it worth their while to be politicians. I can commiserate with them about the quality of the populace because democracy is really for people who are capable of self-governance.

Now Americans at large are not capable of self-governance. They expect to be protected from each other. They expect to be provided for. They expect for things to remain the same even when this doesn’t make any more sense. And those are their expectations. So they expect to be lied to.

If you stop lying to Americans they would kill you. That is the bind that our national politicians are in and we should feel sorry for them.

LC: Oh, I do quite often. I definitely do feel that it’s the system at large. But I go back and forth. Is it the politicians? Is it the media? Is it the interface? Is it the people? And you know, it’s hard to unravel the cat’s cradle of insanity that the entire ball of yarn is. So.

@¡Andrew!: the American public demands to be lied to

I’ve been saying that since the 1980 debate. It’s good to get that out of the way early in life.

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