Homophobic New Orleans Preacher Convicted of Mass Spermicide

“The Rev. Grant Storms, the former ‘Christian patriot’ pastor whose marches against homosexuality at New Orleans’ Southern Decadence festival briefly put him in the national spotlight, was convicted of obscenity Wednesday, for exposing himself while masturbating at Lafreniere Park last year. In his confession, he described public masturbation as ‘a thrill’.” [Times-Picayune]


There’s something called the Southern Decadence Festival? Awesome.

@Dodgerblue: And with supreme irony, the French Quarter, where they were holding the Southern Decadence Festival, was one of the few places largely spared by Hurricane Katrina.

Best detail: “…the day he was arrested was the third time that week that he masturbated in Lafreniere Park.”

@Dodgerblue: It’s like Mardi Gras, but instead of tit flashing, there’s dick flashing.

@Dodgerblue: Either that or he’s got some rather unorthodox ideas regarding horticulture.

My favorite details:

Judge Ross LaDart of the 24th Judicial District Court, who did not even take a pee break to deliberate, described Lafreniere Park as, “A place that was chosen by this defendant to engage in a history of masturbation.” I must have missed that class during my liberal arts university education. I suspect that’s a required course at LSU & at all of the 85 odd Bible colleges in Lousiana?

Storms confessed that as a grass cutter, he carried a “pee bottle” with him, and on the day of his arrest, he sipped a beer in his van and then had to urinate. He did it in the bottle, instead of walking to a park restroom. However, Detective Donald Zanotelli testified he searched Storms’ van and found no bottles with urine in them. Liar, liar, pants on fire . . . and not even a bottle of pee to put out the fire with.


As Jesus’ General might say, “Reverend Storms, get yourself a sock.”

@jaycubed: a history of masturbation

Great Cronenberg movie.

@jaycubed: It’s the most popular elective at Greendale Community College.

@Dodgerblue: Bwahahahaha! Southern Decadence, my friend, is the circuit party ne plus ultra, second only to the Black Party in Manhsttan, or maybe the Black and Blue Ball in Montreal. I’ve seen things on the dance floor at Southern Decadence that boggle the mind, behavior that makes you rethink Freud.

Gay people party better than straight folk, that’s for sure. Hit me up, we’ll go sometime,

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