Not The Weekly World News
It sounds like a story lifted from the pages of everyone’s favorite defunct tabloid. But it isn’t. Instead it’s the New York Times today reporting that authorities in Paupa, New Guinea have arrested 29 members of a cannibal cult, who they say murdered seven supected witch doctors, then ate their brains and penises in the belief that doing so would, literally, make them bullet proof:
“It’s prevalent cult activity,” [Police Chief Anthony] Wagambie said. He said he believes there could be between 700 and 1,000 cult members in several villages in Papua New Guinea’s remote northeast interior. All of them might have eaten human flesh, he said…
He expected police would make around 100 arrests over the weekend for cult-related crimes.
Four of the seven victims were murdered last week, Wagambie said, adding that no remains had been recovered.
“They’re probably all eaten up,” he said.
That sound you are now hearing is me, scratching Papua New Guinea off my vacation bucket list…
It would be a wise choice to decline any invitation for dinner.
@ManchuCandidate: Or if you go, bring a nice chianti.
@ManchuCandidate: However, if one were looking to fake’s one death, what better cover story? “We haven’t located any remains, but you know how it is with these cannibals — case closed.”
Speaking of Oceania/cannibals, I highly recommend The Sex Lives of Cannibals for everyone’s summer reading list.
Sounds like day three of the Republican National Convention.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Weeping Angel Imagine going from hope to Fascism in less than two decades enabled by greedy ass (millionaire)…
NOJO • Nightmare at the Museum From the last time he threatened to bomb Iran, 2020. Remember that one? All a misty blur now.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Only the sane parts... like the West coast, New England (minus the Bruins and…
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: No, but my government was.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Were you kidnapped?
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: I’ve spent the past five weeks looking like Astronaut Dave going through the…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! NOJO - HOW COME WE'RE NOT COVERING KRASNOV?