For the Bible Tells Me So …


A Georgia couple was arrested this week on charges of child cruelty and false imprisonment after their 15-year-old daughter told authorities that she was forced to live in a chicken coop and wear a remote-controlled shock collar.

The 15-year-old, who was home schooled, reportedly said that her adopted parents, Samuel and Diana Franklin, punished her for not finishing school work by spending up to six days at a time in the chicken coop behind their house in Butler over the past two years.

“I’ve never seen anything like this personally,” Georgia Bureau of Investigation Agent Wayne Smith explained. “If the allegations prove to be true, it’s a very severe case.”

A shock collar was found at the home when the parents were taken into custody on Tuesday. The girl said that a device similar to one that remotely locks and unlocks cars was used to activate the collar and punish her with jolts of electricity.

But religion isn’t the problem!

Georgia Home-Schooled Girl Punished With Shock Collar Because “The Bible Says” [Raw Story]

And these people would be the first to say how dangerous the public schools are.

Ah, clearly a child benefiting from the “traditional family” that the GOP loves so much.

On the upside, at least they didn’t beat her to death with plastic tubing in the NAME OF JEEBUS

@JNOV: Darrell Hammond wrote a book largely about what his mother did to him. I don’t know if it’ll help, but you might pick it up.

@JNOV: I was hit once in a while w/ a belt or a plank – standard stuff for the time, so I have no connection to what you went through. I recommended the book because I have no idea what would help, or if you even need help. It’s there, so I told you in case you wanted to read it. Other than that I got nuthin’.

@JNOV: Dearest, see my email, all this belongs in that story.

I never had to bear any kind of burden like yours but my mother did always enjoy telling me about the 5 abortions she’d had to please my father. And when you’re 6 or 7 of course you think it’s your fault. But please, you have a family epic here. Don’t waste it on comments.

About the blurb: Child abuse and satire don’t mesh well.

@JNOV: I think as a comment, it was meant as irony, not satire.

@flypaper: As a comment, it prompted mine, and I was kind of okay with that — through my comments I tried to personalize this issue.

The blurb is cheap in light of what I wrote. I regret revealing so much, so I think I’m going to hide.

Charles Manson was trying to start a race war. Was the Civil Rights Amendment the problem? Wa s it Jodi Foster’s fault that Regan got shot? Was homosexuality the cause of Dalhmer’s murders?

This post smacks of bigotry, I’m afraid. Crazy is the problem here. When a 5-year-old play Mozart and it stinks, it isn’t Mozart’s fault.

O, and hai! I’ve missed you guys. Settled into my job and have a bit more time to play now. Do you still love me?

@SanFranLefty: Love it, actually. I’m in charge of a whole stable of artists, which is awesome. The only downside is that part of what I do deals with show synopses, which means that I know what happens in the Breaking Bad season opener.

My love for you all is an ever-fixed mark. But you know that, right?

@JNOV: Satire is not a form of comedy. Satire is a form of criticism.

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: If comedy is the encrustation of the mechanical over the organic, then satire is the encrustation of the absurd over the actual.

…although I quibble with it not being a form of Comedy. Laughter being the end result and all.

@nojo: I was just excited by the Jonathan Swift reference.

@Mistress Cynica: “Marry, I was’t shocked by how fleet my works were in thir rise to common acclaim!”, quoth Jon, swiftly.

If anyone missed the original blurb, it was “Spare the voltage, spoil the child.” The second blurb is (I’m assuming) a response to my bitching.

If anyone missed my comments, they were too personal for me to share here and a mistake I won’t make again.

To think that the satire here rises to the level of A Modest Proposal is laughable. So maybe it’s comedy after all.

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: Yes. Somewhere in something I wrote, I tried to say I thought that religion was a rationalization for being brutal. Glad the new job is good. Great to see you. You’ve been missed.

@nojo: Snark at the expense of an abused child isn’t satire and Swift’s targets were not the children or their parents. Can’t we please all eat BBQ for a week and take a shit on Mitt Romney’s face?

@FlyingChainSaw: I have to defend Noje at this point, though, Exactly how “expensive” was that blurb for that exact child? Trust me, that kid is not reading this blog. If it’s a question of taste, well then, have at him! But while we’re throwing stones, perhaps we shoud throw them at purveyors of jokes about scatology, cannibalism, and prison rape. After all, fair is fair.

Or perhaps we should consider the foundation of our little kaffeclatch: it’s okay to say it as long as it’s funny. And funny, my doves, is in the eye of the beholder.

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?:(gone)

@JNOV: From what I’ve seen as a LT lurker, oversharing here is the rule, not the exception. I’m a bit shocked about what I’ve learned about some people! Like that guy with the boat.

@SuiteVirginia: I love it when the lurkers come out to the playground. Particularly wise, insightful lurkers that have the moral fortitude and charisma to agree with me on whatever point I happen to be bloviating on at the moment. Hopefully well hear from you more often.

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