CHEDDAGEDON

So, here we are.  After sixteen months, it is all on the line tonight.  So time to settle in with an oil can or three of some Union Made macrobrews from Wisconsin, and watch Ed Schultz get all Schultzy.

The early indications are that turnout is absolutely massive.  Hell, Dane County (home to dirty fucking hippies in Madison) reported a possible turnout of 119% at one point.  (This, of course, set all the voter fraud goons off.  Someone had to gently explain to them that same-day registration may actually make such a thing possible.  But, of course, gentle explanations are not terribly effective.)  The Dane County election overseers had to clarify the 119% number a bit, by saying it was simply a projection, and that absentee votes were goosing the projection models a bit, but still — this looks incredible from here.

Anyway.

IN THE BLUE CORNER, THE CHALLENGER, THE FIGHTING PRIDE OF MILWAUKEE, THE HONORABLE MAYOR OF CREAM CITY, TERRIFIC TOM BARRETT! (yea!) BARRETT!

IN THE RED CORNER, THE REIGNING, DEFENDING, SUPER-LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE RIGHT…. THE WAUWATOSA WANKER…. SCOTT WALKER (boo!) WALKER!

And, like any other good championship fight, there is an undercard.  Four State Senate seats on the line. As things stand, if there is one pick-off for Team Blue, the unified stranglehold on state government that GOPers now enjoy will be all gone.  Of note, Scott Fitzgerald — one of the orchestrators of the right-wing movement in the Legislature last winter — is in a surprisingly tough fight.

Full-blown LIVEBLOG action, post-jump.

1940 (Central War Time): One thing that has improved?  Ed Schultz’s makeup.  Back in February of last year, it looked like it was pasted on with a paint roller.

1946: We will note here that the problematic election chief in Waukesha County (read: Walker’s base) is supposedly out of commission for tonight.  I say supposedly, because there is talk that she still has her all twenty fingers and toes in this particular pie.

2000: Tick, tick, tick…. BOOM! The gun goes off, and polls are formally closed.  MSNBC reporting “too close.” No shit.  Meanwhile, polling places in Milwaukee were down to TEN ballots remaining in some places.

2006: Twitterstan reporting that CNN has an exit poll showing it being 50-50 between Walker and Barrett.  We knew this going in, but — this is going to be a loooooong night.

2013: More exit polling fun — Union participation is +7% from 2010, and its Black Eagle 54:42 Mittens.  Hmmm.

2014: First real numbers have Walker 600 votes to the good, at 57:42.  But 1% in.

2019: A real odd split just now: Walker is +800, but the Dem running for Lite Gov, Mahlon Mitchell, is +3000.  Still real early, but that is confounding.

2025: I’ll tell ya something — I was a poll judge in Madison in 2002-2003.  (Yes. I was, for a year, a little old lady.  I was in college. They paid me. I needed money.  Deal.)  You gotta feel for those guys tonight — they have put in a whale of a day.

2030: Keep in mind: when you are cursing Waukesha County, it’s pronounced WAH-keh-SHAH.  Not WOW-key-shah.  Kind of an insider tip.  But that’s what you get in the Stinque Debating Society and Chowder Club.

2034: Last numbers are wooftastic — Walker 59:41, with 31k vote lead and 8% in.  Probably from out-state counties, one would have to think.

2038: Now at 10% in and Walker is open a strong lead — 61:39 on the percentage, 50k in real votes.  Hope Barrett is a closer.

2040: Ah, here’s something — Great Orange Satan is repeating Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel in reporting the gender gap.  Wimmin are breaking for Barrett HARD — it’s Barrett 56:42 Walker in the Distaff.  The spread (rimshot) was 3 points in 2010.

2048: Markos’s House O’ Fun now reporting that Scott Fitzgerald — one of the three members of the iron triangle of SUCK — will likely escape recall.  Also, it may be Walker 52:48 in the end, per recalculated exits. Ruh-roh.

2050: OH WOW — Walker projected to survive, per MSNBC.

2053: That was REALLY early.  I’m not convinced totally — the exit polls were wrong before, as we’d all remember.  I mean, if the gender gap is +12 for Barrett?  That screams problems with the numbers.  The models may be off.

2056: You know that Ed had the excuses up and ready — John Doe investigation, money money money, etc.

2100: I’m not being pie-in-the-sky here, but I want to see some real numbers from Madison and Milwaukee before putting this to bed.  One thing is for damn sure — Walker 60:40 Barrett is not how this is going to end.

2110: I’m looking at the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel’s website, and Milwaukee County is 8% in.  Dane County (Madison) is 31% in.  This call could be Floridaesque.

2121: More from Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel: as of now, Dane (Madison) is still at 31% in, Milwaukee is 12% in (and Barrett has closed in recent minutes), Racine is 12% in, Sheboygan is 19% in, LaCrosse is 10% in.  That’s Barrett Country. For Walker?  WAU-kee-SHAH is 48% in, Fond du Lac is 87% in, Winnebago is 67% in, and Brown (Green Bay) is 91% in.  Hold the fucking phone.

2130: NOOZ YOU CAN UOOZ — Barrett is not conceding, as votes are still being cast. Developing HARD.

2155: The nets are calling three of the four State Senate seats for the GOP.  One (in Racine) is still out.

2201: Ed Schultz is all-in on Citizens United hammering.

2207: John Nichols (a homie from Madison) is suggesting that this result is believable.  I’m getting closer to calling this for myself.

2211: Tom Barrett is conceding now.  Damn.

2215: Well. Now then: let’s see what Walker says in response.

2219: Dane County (Madison / dirty hippies) is now 89% in.  And Walker’s still up 11%.  The Stinque Decision Desk (finally!) is prepared to make a call.

And, as a good former Wisconsinite, I can now say that (a) I am out of booze and (b) I’m therefore done for the night.  Thanks to all.  (Sorry that I will not be liveblogging Scottie’s victory speech.  I just don’t have the strength.)

92 comments:

8:50 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

It’s a close call, but Ed Schultz manages to piss me off more than Lawrence O’Donnell.

8:54 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Anybody on the Rebecca Kleefisch watch? Seems Clayfish is angling for the Christine O’Donnell role.

9:00 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Okay — turned off Tosh. Turned on PBS, and there’s some Oscar Hammerstein II thing going on. I can’t do MSNBC.

9:00 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Rachel said “spunk”. Rachel hates spunk.

9:01 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@nojo: You know something? She may be more dim than O’Donnell. Fact.

9:01 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Because of all the beautiful and new
things I’m learning about you
daaaaayyyy byyyyyy daaaayyyyyyy

9:05 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad…

What were we saying?

9:06 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow
bloom and grow forever…

9:13 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Come to me
Come to me

Oh! Pledge week! Boo!

9:18 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@I’m passing for white: I love you. Also, I need to get drunk.

9:23 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@chicago bureau: MWAH!

(I’m still looking for MSNBC — found four Jesus channels, three home shopping channels, two shows about moms dancing and otherwise acting silly, something about storage dumpster divers, and Deadliest Catch <– I almost stopped there…)

9:24 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

WHY IS THE QUEEN ON MY FUCKING TV?

9:25 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

I mean Anderson Cooper.

No, I mean Lizzie.

9:25 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

WTF is this jubilee shit anyway? Sounds like something you should make with Cool Whip and Jello.

9:27 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Do we have to be assaulted by some sort of dumb inbred shit every fucking year? Didn’t I Got Ugly William get married last year?

9:27 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Wait. It’s her birthday? Every fucking day is her birthday.

9:27 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Am I wrong to feel prematurely depressed like 2010?

9:29 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

58% Walker

7% in…

I’m hoping they paid all those folks out there in the rain cheering for that bat.

9:29 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

WAH-keh-SHAH: The Yin to wil-LAM-ette’s Yang.

9:29 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@nojo: Yes.

9:31 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

I’m rooting for Trivedi.

9:34 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Who is this Pliers dude? No wonder we’re talking about Lizzie. Fine. MSNBC it is.

9:34 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

I’m rooting for a meteor strike.

9:34 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Wait. Isn’t it like 2 am in England? Is this a fucking re-run?

9:35 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@¡Andrew!: Hey — what’s that Venus thing that’s happening (or happened) today?

9:36 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

I would be sooooo stoked if they turned HRH into a remote controlled helicopter.

9:37 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

CNN is only showing 12% (returns), sooooo, I’m not worried.

9:37 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

What is a Trading Assassin, and why would I want to be one?

9:39 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@I’m passing for white: Unless you mean the Bananarama remake, I have no idea.

9:47 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Time for that beer…

9:49 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Ed won’t accept NBC’s election call because he still has another hour to fill.

9:52 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@nojo: Well, yes. But if Milwaukee and Madison aren’t in, and they are probably not, I wonder about the projection models.

10:08 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

So, how does Walker winning jibe with Obama leading by 9 points in the exit polls? Bad exits? Or stupid voters?

10:14 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@nojo: That submoronic voters are begging the Kochsuckahs to eCONomically fuck them harder than they’ve ever been fucked before?

10:14 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@nojo: See? This is my thing. With a gender gap reported (per exits) at 9% better (for Team Blue) than 2010, and massive turnout? The nets may have egg on their face.

It’s not that I’m disbelieving the media. But Milwaukee is 8% in at this moment, and turnout was MASSIVE there. And Madison may not be in. The models may be screwy.

10:15 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@¡Andrew!: ¡AWESOME!

//Neighbors calling about parking in driveway–awaiting evening flood. w007

10:17 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Oh well fuck me sideways! They called it‽ Ugh. Glad Obama didn’t get too involved. What did his campaign do? Tweet once?

NO! DO NOT RETHINK PA!

10:19 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Ed Fucktard Schultz still has a show?

CNN Bobblehead Blond Woman: The one thing this recall effort did–it helped the Republicans start building a strong machine.

Ugh.

10:20 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Haha @ alt-text.

10:22 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

I love this gal/guy/feline:

“Top Conservative Cat ‏@TeaPartyCat

Based on exit polls and early results NBC and NYT project Al Gore as presidential winner, Gov. Scott Walker winner in Wisconsin recall.”

10:25 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@¡Andrew!: Really–there’s some Once in a Billiondy Years Venus Event. An eclipse? How could you tell if it was behind the moon anyway? Unless…

10:26 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

I can’t look.

10:29 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@chicago bureau: Even so, given how openly corrupt, mean-spirited, and incompetent that cross-eyed dumbfuck is, it’s incredible that voters elected him twice! It’s like 2004 at 1/50th scale.

10:29 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Apparently Venus is on public transit.

Why do people always whine about $ spent? I mean, C’MON! Unless we publicly fund them and stop campaign contributions, it’s not worth it to talk about it. And after Citizens, it’s not going to happen. So, STFU about how so and so outspent so and so. WE CAN’T CONTROL IT. So, yeah. It’s an issue, but so is The Piles. You deal with it and try not to strain too much.

10:30 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: I told you this would happen. #ruboneout

10:32 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

OMG! The transit of Venus is between the sun and us. It looks like a big ole retina before you burn yours out.

10:33 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@¡Andrew!: The cross-eyed thing always gets me. Also: he’s a college dropout. Seriously. This is true.

10:33 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@I’m passing for white: I try. Why? Because I care.

10:37 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012
10:37 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Quick, everybody! Blame the money, not the voters!

10:38 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

HAHA! People drowning out CNN dude On the Scene with His Gangster Lean, oh, yeah with money bags and vulvazellas.

10:40 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

I hate those fucking touch screen things. I thought they died with Wolffff Blitzen. Or was that the holographic shit?

10:41 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@nojo: Yep.

10:42 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@nojo: No joke. I remember that scene from Citizen Kane when Bernstein is debating about the different headlines.

10:43 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Oh, Geez. “Democracy died tonight!” Dude is crying. I don’t blame him, but he’s going to be a meme in 5 seconds.

10:44 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Begala doesn’t do cutesy sarcastic well.

10:53 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@nojo: I blame the shit beer.

10:55 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Watched a very interesting show on Discovery titled “Head Games”. It was about how anxious people are to conform to the norms of society, no matter how ridiculous those norms are. Researchers literally put a line on the floor of a museum leading away from the exhibits, a sign telling people to walk on the line, and filmed numerous people walking on the line like a tightrope. The researchers finally tried ending the line by making a square around a concrete column so people couldn’t go any farther. Some people just walked around and around the column.

Republicans push every button with people to make them believe they are “normal” by voting Big Red. Rational thought doesn’t stand a chance against this constant subconscious programming. With the result in Wisconsin November looks gloomy.

10:58 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@Dave H: I’ve been depressed about My Fellow Citizens since the Reagan-Carter debate. You can’t sell what people won’t buy.

11:02 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@I’m passing for white: On the other hand, Tosh starts here when I’m ready to bail.

11:06 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Questions: Are Progressives members of the reality-based community? Or are the folks I’m seeing on TV just fucking hacks?

11:11 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

CNN explains why exit polls suck. So can we stop now? I mean, polls of all sorts are pretty much useless these days unless you want to go door to door, and they’d probably suck, too, so, yeah.

11:13 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

80% in, Walker by 11 points. Good luck pulling out a moral victory.

11:13 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Oh, please. The labor unions are NOT going to go R b/c Obama just sent a tweet. Some people might stay home, but no one is going to go anti-union because of Obama’s absence. They sure as shit should lambaste him.

11:15 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@nojo: I think everyone has gone mad, and I wonder if it’s always been this way.

11:20 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Is there a rule that you have to give a concession speech? I wouldn’t do it. What’s the point? How much of the vote was in when They called the election? It’s like it’s a fucking done deal one hour in. Pfft.

I’d party my ass off with my peoples but no speech. No phone call. I might leave a flaming bag of shit on opponent’s doorstep.

11:20 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

I’ll say this — the DNC and Black Eagle, largely sitting this out, is gonna come in for a LOT of stick on this.

11:23 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@chicago bureau: I don’t mind going down in flames, but it’s a bitch going down without them.

11:25 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Oh, Lord — Scott Walker’s thanking You. Can You smite him, please?

11:26 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012
11:27 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

My question, which no one has been able to answer, is can they start another recall petition right now to keep this asshole on the back foot?

11:28 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@blogenfreude: Honestly: if they tried it — with all of the ads that people in Wisconsin have been bombarded with? They might kill ’em.

11:33 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@blogenfreude: Wisconsin voters just dumped the argument that Walker campaigned on one thing and did another. Take the state out of the oven — it’s cooked.

11:35 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@I’m passing for white: Concession speeches are political tradition. You shirk the speech, you get Bad Vibes.

11:38 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

Walker gave the standard thank you to Barrett. And I’m done, for real.

Daily Kos is going to be interesting in the Wednesday-morning-quarterbacking. Debbie Wasserman Schultz is going to really get hammered for her low-key manner in this. But, whatever.

Final analysis: Madison was all sound and fury, signifying nothing. Again.

11:42 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

How bad is it. (i don’t have cable :( .)

11:45 pm • Tuesday • June 5, 2012

@texrednface: 2010 ain’t over yet.

12:08 am • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

In New Mexico:

Boring white guy with hair beats bald Hispanic guy in Dem Senate primary.

My friend who I saw at the B-52s concert should win the nomination for Congress from Albuquerque.

My friend, neighbor, and martini swillin’ comrade in arms is going down in flames in her judicial race back up in the ancestral homeland. My Latina slate is 1-1 this go round.

12:53 am • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

Unfortunately, the simplest explanation is the best: Most AmeriKKKans are aggressively ignorant, hate-crazed, neo-fascist, right-wing, sadistic assholes, and they vote for people that are exactly like them. Our corrupt, incompetent, and criminally insane “representatives” are, in fact, representative.

I haz the sad : (

1:30 am • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

@¡Andrew!: So one of the lines tonight is that Wisconsinites are squeamish about recalling an elected politician — even if he’s doing everything in his power to fuck over their neighbors.

Hmmm…

You’re right.

2:04 am • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

@nojo: Where were the good Americans?

Hopelessly out-numbered and out-voted, that’s where.

2:08 am • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

@¡Andrew!: Hopelessly outvoted to you…

Sorry. That’s the AARP talking.

5:55 am • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

I’m glad I took my chill pill early and passed out at 8 p.m. Eastern War Time. That way, I avoided the coronary last night and started out my Wednesday disappointed instead.

Actually, a coronary may yet be had this morning. I will be doing cardio in front of a bank of TVs tuned to CNN, CBS, NBC, ABC and the local Fox affiliate (if it was national I would be arrested for breaking that thing) where the Villagers and Very Serious People will try to read the tea leaves and say that this spells absolute DOOOM, DOOOOM I tell ya, for Black Eagle. As much as I don’t want to look at the bloviation … I just can’t help it.

8:46 am • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

@¡Andrew!: Where were the good Americans?

Overseas – where the rest of you may want to be come November/December. Where’d I get my news of the shredded cheddar? On Al Jez in the gym at my place, on about an eight hour time delay. I just said “ah the hell with that” and went back to the free weights.

9:05 am • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

Historically speaking, I believe if you could survive the Reagan years you could survive anything.
It goes to prove, long-term exposure to the cold causes brain damage. Evidence: Minnesota/Bachmann/Ventura.

9:24 am • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

@nojo: You already got the Bad Vibes when you lost. I’d chance it. I think this is proof that concession speeches should be avoided at all costs.

HT Princess Sparkle Pony.

9:26 am • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

@chicago bureau: Final analysis: Madison was all sound and fury, signifying nothing. Again.

I LOVE YOU!

1:14 pm • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

@nojo: Rachel is anything but a hack. The rest of them, including the annoying and rude Tweety, can eat a bag of dicks as far as I’m concerned.

The sad thing is that no matter how pandering and noodgy they are, they’re still head and shoulders above the cons.

1:27 pm • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: Not just the hosts — and I agree about Rachel — but the guests. There’s a problem, and nobody seemed to be addressing it.

And no, the problem isn’t money. The problem is not knowing the audience. The voting audience.

2:05 pm • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

Meanwhile, in the thrilling Kreep v. Peed Sandy Eggo court race, Kreep is leading.

Oh, and Kreep is a birther.

Do courts have RSS feeds? I may have to sign up.

2:20 pm • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

@nojo: Some federal courts do (W.D. Pa., for example), but it’s hardly standard, and one imagines is even less so at the state level.

2:35 pm • Wednesday • June 6, 2012

@nojo: California state courts in general don’t have documents available on line. No $$.

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