Douchebagging for Dummies

Happy Valentines Day or psychic hint? Just kidding sort of. I have probably read a couple of these books in my time (hey I was desperate which turns out was a huge part of the problem) and I doubt that any of them are any good.

On the other hand, I just pulled the plug on what I thought was a relationship last week. Not really happy about it, but it wasn’t going anywhere so this is a “great” place to start… right?*

*I already know the answer… NO.

So do members of the “seduction community” have their own secret handshake? Or is it more of a gang sign that they flash when they recognize one another on the sidewalk?

In The Natural, he brings that experience to you, delivering field-tested methods and easy-to-use tools for attracting the women you want.

Sounds like a fucking field of dreams.

Yeah. Seduction Community? O-kay.

ADD: Seduction “gurus”? BWAHAHAHAHAHAH

TL/ Why am I getting spam from Jamie Kelso? Must be that blues artist remark.

The seduction community family photo

http://blog.vh1.com/files/2007/08/pickupartist21.jpg

@ManchuCandidate: Seriously? The faux hawk makes my panties drop and suppresses my gag reflex Every. Time.

@JNOV is like, Peace?:
Yes, seriously. It was a VH1 show that generated a lot of ridicule and didn’t last that long. All I see is a lot of Ed Hardy and you can smell the Axe Body Spray in that photo.

A friend of mine (seriously) bought a few of those books and handed a couple of them to me. I read them, figuring why not? If you want to pick up shallow stupid messed up women or men then I can see its use. Otherwise if one is looking for a relationship then any use of their “techniques” to maintain the relationship is going to end in hilarious (for bystanders) failure.

Being the shy awkward type to my early 30s, I can see why lonely guys would try this shit. What worked for me was just accepting who I was and losing the stench of desperation.

@ManchuCandidate: Is this the whole thing about “the neg”?

I’ve always been awkward. I used to think “shy,” but I’ve been told “self-conscious.” I always will be.

If only I could lose the stench of desperation in job interviews…

@JNOV is like, Peace?:
Yup. It works… on the insecure and unwise.

I’m still working on getting rid of the job desperation stench. Assuming I get job interviews.

@ManchuCandidate: In my late 20s I learned that if you want to meet a woman, introduce yourself. Works great.

@ManchuCandidate: Okay. Now that I know what a neg-hit is thanks to http://www.sosuave.com/articles/neghits.htm (but I don’t know what a “DJ” is in this context), I might have been neg-hitted, but I don’t think it worked.

“You have a weird sense of humor.”

“I know, and only my friends get it. That’s why they’re my friends.”

@Serolf Divad:

I dunno – does a getting a blowjob from another member in the men’s room count? :)

Seriously, though – from the photo Manchu posted above, it looks like they’re all so testosterone-poisoned that they can’t actually own up to why they don’t like spending time with women. The “pickup artist” routine provides a convenient explanation for why they spend most nights drinking with their buddies and comparing abs…

Way back when I was in law school, a friend of mine set me up with a sculptor. She gave me a fish she carved out of pine at the beginning of the date. I don’t remember whatever became of her as we only went out the one time and she was not that tight with my friend’s circle. I still have the fish sculpture on my wall. I dated another hip and cool artist around that time who though I wasn’t edgy enough so she left me for a much older guy with a Harley.

After a couple of misfires and a lengthy very intense relationship with someone who wanted to marry me but whom my parents didn’t like, I just gave up for a while and decided I needed to find my peer. Met Mrs RML at a Christmas party 18 years ago and we’ve been together since then, still on our second date as we call it. Both of us have had to explain our background, heritage, and history to others who didn’t get it. Mr’s RML’s people basically lived over the mountains from us on a trail that my ancestors used to go hunt buffalo. I knew that Jack Johnson fought in her town one time. She was very nervous to meet my parents. “It’s no big deal,” I told her. “If they don’t like you, its over.” The families hit it off too, so we are really like one big family. We’re still all goofy and lovey-dovey and we won’t let the simultaneous showings of Downton Abbey and The Walking Dead get between us. We’ll work it out. We have two tvs.

Wow, is it impossible to get laid as a straight guy or what? Hilarious.

@redmanlaw: Plus, you’re both adorable.