To Be Fair, Nobody Thought He’d Crack Thirty

Axl Rose hasn’t been relevant since about 1996 or so. He doesn’t even compare to Brian Wilson, a recluse who not only staged a comeback but was also applauded and warmly welcomed, or even Ozzy, who is on about his fourth comeback (as a solo artist w/Randy Rhodes in Crazy Train days, as TV star in the Osbornes, as a kindler, gentler Ozzy 2.0 w/Zakk Wylde known more for playing old stuff live than for recording any new noteworthy material , and now as the frontman for the reformed original line up of Black Sabbath).

I get up around six
Go read the paper till nine
And I rant about everything
Cause I’ve got too much time

Dinner usually starts around four
We go to bed at nine
Get on the wife for eleven (minutes)
Poppin’ a viagra, dick’s feelin’ fine

We been suffering’ with
Mr. Erectile Dysfunction
It’s not swellin”
He won’t’ leave me alone

@redmanlaw: Dude. He’s nuts. Like certifiable clock-dude-with-the-mic-stand nuts. Glad he’s still around, relevant or not.

Whoa. The AARP sent out that tweet? That’s fucking fantastic!

@JNOV is like, Peace?: Like Lauryn Hill nutz? Srsly, that chick’s mind is gooooooooooonnnnnneee.

Who is this now? Is it Sport?

@Benedick:
Big Hair Rock Bands of the 80s.

@ManchuCandidate: Donna Summer?

@Benedick:
Close enough.

@¡Andrew!: RIGHT‽

Dude. Okay. Imma send you an email right now.

@Benedick: He is the reason (besides bad plugs) that Bret Michaels wears a bandana.

@¡Andrew!: I she still dressing like a clown? That made me pretty sad.

@JNOV is like, Peace?: Bret Michaels? A Sport person?

I’ve been under a rock, but did Frothy Mix really tell a sick kid to stop bitching about the cost of his medication, because people spend $900 for iPads? (Actually, asshat, iPads cost less than the wholesale price of one month’s worth of Wellbutrin, but whatevs)

Dick weed Here

@SanFranLefty: As a lapsed Jew I am not surprised that a goy like Little Ricky would pay retail. And let him – keeps prices lower for me.

@redmanlaw: This birthday announcement explains why the classic rock station was playing “Welcome to the Jungle” this evening during the commute home — weirdly, or perfectly enough, it was preceded by my favorite Fleetwood Mac song, “Rhiannon” and followed by the always awesome “Dream Weaver” — three completely different genres yet somehow I knew the words to them all, and was singing along all the way on the bridge. Made the usual 6:30 pm traffic clusterfuck less clusterfucky.

@blogenfreude: I would mock Frothy Mix, but I’m so WASPy and/or full of liberal guilt that I often offer to pay more than retail

There’s an interesting piece in the current NYROB contrasting George Romney, who acted on principle and fuck all, and Mittster, who is empty inside.

The not-MSNBC ad I’m getting begins “Meet Smart Arab Women.”

@Bene: Indeed. His sport is cosmetic surgery. He tends to lose.

keith richards will hit 100 one day and still drink, smoke, and dope axl under the table. speaking of aged rock stars, for an old man, steven tyler sure is a pretty woman.