Birther Cagematch!

Las Vegas political columnist Jon Ralston tweeted a nugget yesterday that we hadn’t noticed at WorldNetDaily:

Had no clue about Romney birthers! Woman calls to get me on Pulitzer-in-waiting story that George R. was Mexican citizen, Mitt ineligible.

As we know, the Romney Clan took a little detour south of the border a century ago to escape the tyranny of Singular Opposite Marriage, only to return when a pesky revolution interrupted their Big Love Bliss. Mitt’s dad — 1968 Preznidential candidate George Romney — happened to drop in Chihuahua in 1907, which might have raised qualification issues, had anybody cared.

But Anchor Baby Mitt? Detroit, 1947. Have we voted Michigan off the island because of all its Muslims?

Well, no. What the esteemed Mr. Ralston discovered was Advanced Birtherism.

The argument, however delightfully misguided, is simple: To be a Natural Born Citizen, you need Natural Born Parents. The Kenyan Usurper, even if he was squirted out in Honolulu, is still tainted by Alien Sperm. And to their credit, Advanced Birthers are consistent on the matter, also ruling out Marco Rubio and Bobby Jindal.

If you want to get into the weeds — and heck, why not? — you could make the counter-argument that while George Romney was born in Mexico, the family somehow retained U.S. citizenship while intending never to return. But then we’d have to investigate whether George held dual citizenship as a child, and our amusement ends when effort begins.

But not to worry. We’re sure we’ll rekindle our amusement when Orly Taitz picks up the scent.


I say that anyone who can trace their lineage to someone who was was not born in the U.S. then he cannot be president. Yaaaay, no one can be president! Let’s all go home now.

@Serolf Divad: corporations can be president can’t they? oh wait, they already are. what a stupid question.

And here we’ve come to the logical conclusion… the “I’m MORE US AMERICA THAN YOU!” fight which is on the same level as “my dad can beat up your dad” and “I have a bigger penis than you.”

If Mitts becomes President, maybe he’ll make huevos rancheros our national dish. I’d be OK with that.

@Dodgerblue: @Serolf Divad: It’ll be interesting when, to dispel the rumors of his mexicanism, Mitt begins babbling en francais. That should do his street cred with the Teahadi a world of good.

Tune into your local Hate Radio outlet today and you can hear the GOP base falling in line behind Romney in real time.

Mrs RML and others have said that evangelicals won’t vote for a Mormon. I’m of the opinion that the right wing will vote for whoever they’re told to because of their authoritarian mindset. The competing theories will be tested in South Carolina.

@redmanlaw: Will that be the End for Newt and Perry?

@Dodgerblue: The people I heard were Paul and Santorum supporters. They’re going with “electability.”

@redmanlaw: why does mittcito’s actual religion, mormonism not draw the same level of criticism as barry o’bama’s alleged religion, islam? obviously reality counts for very little in the face of overwhelming fox nuisance propaganda.

fox nuisance, i made that up last night.

@jwmcsame: I think the response would be “Mormons didn’t attack the World Trade Center.”

@jwmcsame: A lot of Evangelicals consider Mormonism to be little more than a cult, and those who are very knowledgeable about religion can make an argument that Mormonism is really not a form of Christianity, especially with respect to the ultimate divinity of humans via eternal progression. As my younger brother who was a missionary in Mexico explained to me, “we can all become gods.”

As people learn more about what Mormonism is, I think they’ll just look past all its unique features and look at the surface attributes – they’re mostly white, conservative, believe in work, family and preparedness and they espouse a code of sexual morality that conservative Christians will absolutely love, “the Law of Chastity.” Mitt’s wealth will be seen – and portrayed – as a sign that he is blessed and has been rewarded in this realm for living a life in accordance with God’s laws. Romney’s stump speech already states that this election is a battle for the soul of America, which is more a trumpet than a dog whistle.

Baja California Love?

(Points to anyone who makes the connection without clicking through.)

@nojo: So bygones are bygones with regard to the Mountain Meadow Massacre.


Absolutely true: these are the guys who just a couple of decades ago believed that Jews had horns growing under their Yarmulkes and now they’ve got Israely flags henging off their porch next to the American flag and the Confederate Battle flag.

Anyone who doesn’t believe that Evangelicals will vote for Romney juts hasn’t been around that long.

@Serolf Divad:
AND there will be none of the usual Southern anti-intellectual bias against Romney in South Carolina. He’s as vacuous as they come.

@Walking Still: I know Southerners have long memories, but 1857?

@Serolf Divad: Gun guys on the blogs are slow to come around, but some are looking ahead to the Supreme Court and would rather have Romney appointing justices than Obama only to prevent what they feel would be a rollback on the decisions in the D.C. and Chicago gun law cases decided in the past couple of years.

Most of the gun guys are for Ron Paul, and Newt is seen as a stooge doing the Democrats’ work for them with his “attacks on capitalism.” No one else is on the radar screen as far as I can tell. Newt’s attacks on Rmoney have Rush and a bunch of other right wing shitheads rallying behind Romney even as we post and read.

Conspiracy theory: Newt attacks Romney. Romney critic Rush and other opinion leaders voice support and sympathy for Romney which goads the base into supporting Romney. Is the base getting played by the puppet masters to elect an elite corporatist?

@redmanlaw: Is the base getting played by the puppet masters to elect an elite corporatist?

You mean now, or 1980?

@redmanlaw: I’m not buying it. Newt’s ego is too big.

Are you sure about Detroit though? Maybe the Romney took a wrong turn, got across the river, and decided to go ahead and Free Willard in Windsor! Without the birth certificate, we’ll never know!

Come clean, Mitt! You love fur-trapping and curling. Just admit it. You’re a Canuck.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment