If You Lived Here, You’d Be In Your $12 Million Home By Now

Stinque World Domination Headquarters: 486 square feet. Plus patio.

Casa RML: 1500 sq ft, approx 1/3 acre

*ding*

Stinque World Domination Manhattan Branch Office: 425 square feet. No patio. And we’re out of milk.

But at least it’s a doorman building.

@nojo: Not $2 million — $12 million.

@mellbell: Our Scatterbrained Bloggers.

Stinque Arizona Branch: 1200 ft with broken french doors and missing TV.
But now with one shotgun and one fully loaded .38, courtesy of those who care.

Stinque Canada City. 1100ft (includes something called a basement but soon to be minus an overgrown baby of a housemate)

Stupid 3rd party contractor who does HR for former employer fucked up my unemployment and I had to go to nearest Federales Office to deal with it.

Stinque WeHo: A two-bedroom townhouse from the 1930’s. Tiny, drafty, and the hot water is tepid on the second floor. Currently renting at $2000 a month.

I could burn the money monthly and feel like I get a better deal.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Sorry you got ripped off. We been hit three times.

What kinda ammo you got in the ,38? I’m partial to the Speer Gold Dot 125 gr .38 + Ps JHP personal defense loads in my Ruger SP101 snub nose revolver with the Crimson Trace laser grips. The Glock 19 with Israeli night sights and a Lasermax Micro is loaded with 15 rounds of Hornady Critical Defense 115 gr FTX with a second mag tucked in with the pistol in the space between the bed frame and mattress. That’s my primary home defense weapon. We can all can shoot it with varying levels of proficiency. Lasers are awesome targeting aids, btw. I’m getting one for my little Ruger LC9 9 mm also.

Nice to hear about the shotty but moving the long gun around the house or working it in conjunction with a light might be tough. I recommend getting a good aluminum body LED flashlight with a scalloped bezel that can also be used as a hand weapon. On my person every time I step out: pepper spray, folding knife and flashlight if it’s dark.

Is that beach in front of “Cash-in-the-Pants'” house in LaJolla private or public? Anyone know? Looks like a primo place for a three month long encampment.

@redmanlaw: I’m not sure what type of ammunition is in the gun. My boyfriend gave me a revolver already loaded so that I don’t have to do anything but point and shoot. I unloaded the shotgun my stepfather gave me and hid the shells separate from the gun because I’m not terribly accurate with the long guns even when I’m not scared shitless. I already have a couple of big Maglites at the ready. They’ve come in handy quite a few times over the years.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: You can’t beat a revolver for its point and shoot ability, that’s for sure. I have three others besides my snubby; two .22s and the .357 magnum that I carry while camping, hunting and fishing.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: You mean your guard dog didn’t scare away the dudes who jacked your teevee?? That totally sucks. Hope the insurance company isn’t dicking you around now.

Many years ago, my pupster and my then-roommate’s Lab mix scared off a guy who was trying to break in through our sliding glass door — I heard a noise, turned and saw him and yelled and the dogs ran at the door so hard that I thought they were going to hurt themselves or break the glass. By the time I got to the sliding glass door to release the hounds on him, he had gotten over the fence. If you saw these two dogs, you’d laugh at the thought because they were cutie pie adorable things.

Oh, and Stinque EssEff Branch: 450-500 sq. ft. (depending upon the appraiser), 40 sq. ft deck, unfinished basement, wood frame that rattles in winds like tonight, hella awesome view of The City. Probably worth about half of what Mr. SFL and I paid for it, thanks to the drama freak tweaker next door selling drugs.

Guns scare the fuck out of me (believe me, RML, I tried going to shoot skeet or whatever it’s called and all the weapons freaked me out so much that I had a panic attack and hyperventilated and was shaking for half an hour in the parking lot — I would be one of those people who has a heart attack and loses all control of my bladder and bowels if a gun were ever pointed at my face), so I rely upon a nice big flashlight and bear spray at the front door for any unexpected encounters with my neighbor’s customers friends and tricks lovers. At one point I had a baseball bat at hand, too. I had a mean ass line drive back when I played softball as a kid, so I figured that would do the trick too.

@SanFranLefty: She wasn’t home. I was in Houston at the time so she was staying with my mom.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Yikes. That’s a little creepy like they were casing your place. New alarm system?

Did you have good BBQ and Tex-Mex in Houston?

Stinque SE Massachusetts substation converting to mobile unit looking for a soft, warm place to land.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: At least it wasn’t Christmas eve and you didn’t come home from a short walk with the dog to discover that not only was all your jewelry gone but so was your wallet (did I mention it was Christmas eve?) with your license, credit cards, checkbook and all your cash, and your back door was kicked in, and it was 25 degrees with a foot of snow on the ground.

My sympathies. Being broken and entered is a nasty violation.

@karen marie has her eyes tight shut: Mrs RML lost a bunch of jewelery and a laptop, we had the house trashed/searched, and some stuff was burned on the floor of Son of RML’s room in our two break ins and one or two attempts. We’ve had the a side gate busted, a big window busted, french door glass busted and the front door kicked in.

We now have hog wire extending about two feet above our 6 ft back fence and the side gates have been reinforced with additional plywood, 2×4 crossbars and hardware. That, and the big black chow and psychotic Sheltie bark at everything that moves, even us when we come home.

@redmanlaw: psychotic Sheltie

Isn’t that redundant?

@SanFranLefty: Yeah, they must have been casing the area because the house two doors down from me was also hit and the grandpa is usually home all day, like me.

The alarm system is the same one I’ve always had and it went off even though the assholes turned off the electricity to the house and cut the wires to the outdoor patio speakers in an attempt to disable the alarm. The alarm is probably why they only made off with the TV.

@karen marie has her eyes tight shut: I consider myself very lucky that they only got a TV and, most importantly, no one was home or harmed.