Rear Window

Man Accused of Trying To Hide Heroin Inside Woman Is Facing Charges LAS CRUCES, NM — A Don~a Ana County man has been charged with criminal sexual penetration for allegedly trying to hide almost an ounce of heroin inside a female companion during a traffic stop . . .

While it’s common for drug traffickers to conceal drugs in their own body cavities, Holden called the circumstances of this case “pretty strange.”

“As far as heroin traffickers or users, it’s pretty common for them to hide it in that manner,” he said, “but never forcefully on someone else; I’d never heard of that happening.”

Oh! I have STORIES! And x-ray films…(okay, I don’t anymore — they’re in some hospital’s teaching file, patients’ names removed, natch.)

Reverse peristalsis is a bitch.

Note to Ducks: there is no excuse for losing to USC at home yesterday. None.

@JNOV will never finish this fucking sweater!: Do tell.

Benedick must be making a mint off this.

@Dodgerblue: Yeah, WTF?

@Dodgerblue: Umm, yeah, agree. My spousal Duck is in mourning. He thinks it’s because Chip Kelly was greedy last week on The Farm and insisted on playing first stringers all 60 minutes to really stuff it to Stanford, and the Ducks came back to Eugene spent and exhausted and were unable to play to the level needed with U$C. Oregon could have gotten away playing that sloppy against Washington State, but they needed their A game two weeks in a row. This makes Pac 12 standings very interesting, not to mention AP standings. (Go Baylor Bears!)

take this post and shove it

@SanFranLefty: If UCLA beats USC next week, we go to the Pac-12 championship game. Hah. I’ll be on a 13 hour flight to Beijing; wifi anyone?

true story
everyone is supposed to know someone who knows someone right? I know someone, a someone who is a completely down to earth no bullshit late middle aged lady – in other words not someone who is known for making shit up, far from it in fact – who is married to someone I know from the effects industry. this lady is and has been for years an Xray tech in the LA area. she not only swears that she was on duty and saw the Richard Gere gerbil Xrays but that she has a copy. I have never seen this copy. but I believe her.
you decide.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That:

would that make him minty fresh?

heres a scary article about how the UC violence is the new norm

I have a book that would probably be in the “you may also like” box on this books amazon page. Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition

it was a joke birthday gift a few years ago but I actually found it a fascinating read.

@Capt Howdy: If that book was in the also-bought batch, I would have run with it. I think Benedick or Tommmcatt has referred to it on occasion.

As to Gere, I’m afraid I have to classify it Urban Legend until revealed otherwise. I have no interest in protecting his reputation, and I’m certainly not above running with the gag — and South Park revived Lemmiwinks this fall — but the Travolta/Cruise rumors are more believable.

@nojo:

about Gere, I would agree with you if I didnt know this person. it just seems so unlike her to make it up. and the truth is I WANT to believe.

@Capt Howdy: Here we have to step through the logic…

1. I’ll grant that she herself thinks it’s true.

2. I’ll also grant your judgment of her — that if she thinks it’s true, it probably is.

3. But I’m now twice removed from the source, which is a — hold on, lemme consult my masters — epistemologically tenuous position. So I’ll be comfy and say that there’s a new data point that suggests the truth, where I was aware of none before. Point Gerbil, but I have to leave the game open.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: I’m beginning to think I’m too classy for this site.

@nojo: It was me. A fave book of mine. When I was in Kingston with the hubby (he was raised in Jamaica) I was able to give him a complete run-down on Port Royal, aka the Sodom of the Caribbean. Happy days. That it was destroyed by an earthquake did not help the cause. Which reminds me, anyone around here read A High Wind in Jamaica? Lynn? You’d love it.

@Capt Howdy: For what reason would anyone stick a gerbil up his ass? even if such a thing were possible? How is that supposed to fit into – as it were – anyone’s notions of sexy-time? With the claws and teeth and such as tearing at one’s vitals. Causing haemorraging in the anal passages and major eww! as one’s bed turns into an offal pit. And if it’s a dead gerbil it makes even less sense on account of the limpness (we’ve all been there) while trying to cram what should be erect up what isn’t a Republican.

Coke bottles I understand. Also baseball bats and fire hydrants. I even believe the story about the guy who broke up with his boyfriend because he was so huge he couldn’t do anything with it. He could stroke it and put funny hats on it and introduce it to his relatives and that was about that. When traveling it had to have its own seat. Which can get expensive. Imagine the cost of sun block for trips to the Pines. Dance belts were not an option. It required a block and tackle to get him into his jazz pants. Erections showed up at earthquake.usgs.gov. The only upside was that he was circumcised. Otherwise… that foreskin would have needed its own zip code.

Actually, I’ve worked with both men involved in that instructive tale: pitcher and catcher (and haven’t we all been both in our time? I might be losing Stinque Str8 but imagine strap ons, men – like you haven’t.). But the gerbil story is too preposterous because I can’t see how it could relate to any kind of sex act known to man.

You know what’s funny about this post? I’m stone cold soberish.

@Benedick: I bought that book probably almost a year ago on your recommendation, it’s sitting in a stack of other unread books on my bookshelf.

P.S. Don’t listen to Tommcatt. you class this joint up plenty.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: If I could stay on the right side of HIPAA, and if it were the right thing to do, I’d spill. Trust me. Some of these things were so odd that a patient would be easily identified just by mentioning the object.

@Capt Howdy: Yeah — everyone says that dumb shit. I actually took the x-rays I mentioned, so, yeah. I never saw an animal up the ole poop chute, plus the bones are so tiny, it’s unlikely they’d show up on a film, especially back then before digital imaging and manipulation.

Legal peoples — question in the clubhouse.

@Benedick: Supposedly it’s a real fetish involving cocaine and tubes or something (or that could be freebasing), but when you consider that your rectum is chock full of decomposing matter, why freak out over a dead rodent? It’s among friends and will soon be buried at sea. N.B. I am totally not okay with bestiality. Not okay.

@Benedick:

gerbil diving or what ever it is called was absolutely done in some leather bars in NY in the decadent 70s. I have never actually seen it but I know (or knew – they are probably dead now) lots who saw it done. as for the teeth and claws, they were removed. quite horrible it was. and this is mostly why it was stopped.
as to why some one would do it, that is a question you could ask of many things that went on in leather bars in NY in the 70s.

@Benedick:

more info

I didnt actually follow the links to bbssm.com. be my guest.

heres the funny part. type “do people really put” in to google window.

Why don’t we forward this post to Focus on the Family? I hear they’re looking for articles for the Christmas newsletter.

@Benedick: You might’ve lost the str8 Stinquers, but you’ll never lose me!

@Capt Howdy: Did you ever see it? I don’t believe it. Lots of people saw UFOs and believed their fathers raped them (Att all. This is about recovered memory not real events in life or even their simulacrum). Why would anyone go to that much trouble? How would a declawed, detoothed rodent, which we are to believe is still alive, be inserted? It makes no sense. And like jnov, our source for all things unpleasantly medical, says, the bones wouldn’t show up on an x-ray. Leather bars in NY? Please. I lived on Christopher St. Those guys were office workers, florists and hairdressers. Which is why they got in butch drag. The really tough stuff involved real blood not rodents. I call bullshit. And also, forgive me rearing this particular erection, an anti-gay urban legend. According to Snopes, ‘gerbil-stuffing’ is unknown as a sexual practice – I wonder why – and there is no known record of any doctor removing a dead (I would hope) rodent from any man’s rectum, be it Richard Gere or Geraldo.

@SanFranLefty: It’s a surprisingly interesting and wide ranging read. Also fun. Try it on a plane, so when you slap your forehead and say ‘Fuck me sideways, I did not know that!’ you can explain to the nice nun in the seat next to yours about the fun book you’re reading.

P.S. I never listen to Catt. Why should I be different from everyone else?

@¡Andrew!: I’d like you to call me Daddy.

Plus, I have phone numbers for both those guys. So if you’re heading this way… I’m just saying…

Sudden thought: you know what I think is behind this legend? The fact that Gere and Ger.. begin with the same sound.

Maybe I’m wrong but hey! If anyone knows about getting gerbils shoved up their ass it’s noje.

See? It’s true, otherwise they wouldn’t have said it was at Yahoo! Answers:

Yep. First they go to http://tns.bbssm.com to learn how to make their asshole big enough to park buses and stuff, then they go to http://bbssm.com and/or http://buyadultproducts.com to get small trailers about 5% of the life size, then they practice until comfortable, then they go to pet stores, get hamsters, and boom… multiple orgies… or something like that.

@Benedick:
“The fact that Gere and Ger.. begin with the same sound.”
What? Do you mean a hard “g” in gerbils like Goebbels?

@Benedick: I stick to hooded rats.

@nojo: Hood rats?

@redmanlaw: The only two rodents I’ve given long-term custodial care: Templeton and Desdemona.

@Benedick: `

I assume you are joking. you never heard of a declawed cat?

trust me. it happened. once my room mate came home from the Mine Shaft looking like he just saw a snuff film. ‘I will never go back there’ he said. “It was the sickest thing I have ever seen”.
there was outrage at the cruelty and it was stopped. at least in public.

@nojo: This guy got drummed out of the Philly news market when he was “Gered” in the 80s.

I don’t even have to click through, but he landed on his feet, didn’t he? Jerry Penacoli? (sp? fuck it!)

Sorry to beat a dead rumor, but a declawed cat? Really? Read up on the process of THAT feline torture if you don’t already know what’s involved, and tell me if you homestly think vets are running around yanking gerbil teefs and claws.

@JNOV will never finish this fucking sweater!:

um, that – cruelty – was actually the point. and no. it was not done by vets.

@Capt Howdy:

one more comment on this and thats it.
this was something that was quite the underground thing in some circles in the late 70s. that is when the incident I described above happened. which is interesting because in doing some web searching on this most say it “started” in the mid 80s. one thing I can tell you for sure is that it started before that. by the mid 80s aids was hitting and these places were either being closed down or becoming a pale shadow of what they were pre aids.
one other thing about the incident I mentioned. that room mate was not just a room mate he was the best friend I ever had. we moved to NY together and spent many years sharing apartments and secrets. we were never lovers btw. Don died in the 90s and I an not shy about admitting that probably had a lot to do with his fascination with places like the MineShaft. my own experience with such places was more out of curiosity. I was not a regular and was not, as they say, “into” it and I am also not shy about saying that is without a doubt why I am still alive.
and that incident was not something that was mentioned in passing. we talked about it for weeks. Don being as much of an animal lover as I. and in spite of his saying he would never go the the MineShaft again he was there the following weekend and so was I but no gerbils were stuffed.
I was very dissappointed.
personally I dont really care if anyone believes it or not. I believe Don not just for obvious reasons but because I heard this from quite a few other people. some who were with Don that faithful night. and I am sort of amused by some of the comments I read on the web.
for example one frequently quoted article says:

Which brings us to gerbils. While the examples above are well-documented in the medical literature, live or recently deceased fauna are something else. Rumors of gerbil (and mouse or hamster) stuffing have been circulating since about 1982. In 1984, a Denver weekly said it had a confirmed report of gerbilectomy in a local emergency room. The Manhattan publication New York Talk reported several years ago that New York doctors first caught on to stuffing when they started encountering patients with infections previously found only in rodents. But no such case has ever found its way into the formal literature of medicine.
then goes on to say this:
I have checked with numerous sources in both the gay and medical communities, and though everybody has heard about gerbil stuffing, every attempt to track down an actual case has come to naught. The whole business sounds completely nuts, and implausible to boot.”
which seems a bit odd after the previous paragraph but this seems to the a common line “no peer reviewed evidence so it cant be true.
you know what, whatever.
but I have a question for the doubters. have you ever been to a big city gay S&M club? even a non membership post aids one?
anyway, as I said. Im done now. this comment was for Don.

@Capt Howdy: We value the hamster at Stinque.

The Stinque Hamster exists to be abused.