Weekend Wingnut Roundup

A long time ago, in a blogosphere far far away, I did a Weekend Wingnut Roundup. Every weekend I would scour the right wing blogs for the stupidest posts and do a shorter version. This resulted, eventually, in a need for stronger antidepressants. And now, for some reason, I’ve waded in again:

Ace of Spades – it is entirely possible that Gingrich will defeat Romney and win Iowa if no one remembers what a tool he is.

Althouse – oh my, do you think those awful liberals are to blame for poor Herman Cain having to play the race card to defend himself from charges he groped a couple of white women?

American Thinker – Herman Cain could have weathered one or two women coming forward, but four? Oh, and Bill Clinton’s penis.

Atlas Shrugs – Obama personally sent a bunch of hippies to Denver to scream at some poor defenseless conservative bloggers.

Confederate Yankee – while I object to the state of Mississippi being forced to recognize some New York homo marriage, I fully support a law forcing New York to let me conceal-carry my Glock.

Debbie Schlussel – why did that brave Arizona Republican who wanted to electrocute Mexicans lose his recall election? Mormons, bitchez.

Flopping Aces – Democracy? No way dude – what the Middle East needs is a big dose of the Bush-style conservative policies that worked so well in this country!

Hot Air – it’s exciting that Herman Cain would turn down one position in a Romney administration that he’s not qualified for but would accept another position he’s not qualified for!

Hugh Hewitt – despite all evidence to the contrary, I am convinced that the GOP will cave in and raise taxes. And unicorns. I believe in those too.

Michelle Malkin – the Obama White House is refusing to turn over some of the Solyndra documents and … what? The attorney firing scandal? No, can’t say as I remember that ….

NRO (Jonah Goldberg) – Jay-Z is selling t-shirts to the OWS protestors and that’s just like capitalists selling rope to the hippies who will be hung by their necks until dead and … where was I going with this?

NRO (Victor David Hanson) – the dirty hippies at the OWS protests will never go to the polls like the noble Tea Partiers. Nope, no way.

Pattterico’s Pontifications – the Atlas Shrugged DVD kerfuffle? Clearly a plot by some liberal to halt the runaway train of success that movie has become.

Red State – Cain is down (woman touching) and Perry is down (inability to remember his own talking points) so the new not-Romney is Newt! I has a stiffy.

Townhall (Derek Hunter) – body-lice-infested mutant protesters, OWS, bodies piling up, three parts Elizabeth Warren hatred, a dash of loathing Obama, and that’s another column phoned in!

Townhall (Ken Blackwell) – because Rick Perry is the modern  day equivalent of Jefferson we should ignore his inability to speak in complete sentences and embrace his charisma – he’s governor of Texas, so what could possibly go wrong?