Totally Breaking News Shocker That Will Rock Your World and Blow the Lid Off the 2012 Presidential Race

Chris Christie still not running.


It’s not like he could. Carrying that much weight? What?

Oh, that political thing.

@ManchuCandidate: Well, that gave me an opportunity to make sure the Rimshot Button still works.

He could make cold cuts for the whole country for a month!

What other candidate can honestly make that claim?

See, it’s just not a campaign without clown on clown violence.

In this case, the candidate who is accused of clown-like behavior (and who had his campaign pictures defaced to make him look more clown-like) appealed to his opposition to “respect clowns. It’s an honorable profession.” [Ed: paraphrased translation, full text available on the googles]

@Nabisco: In Poland, politicians roll death metal style:

“Jedrzej Wijas, a candidate for parliament in Poland who is with the Democratic Left Alliance (SLD), has recorded a video ad with several local death metal musicians (including members of MORTAL GOD), “starring” as the group’s lead vocalist. The clip, which was made available via Wijas’ official Facebook profile, is a 46-second take on his views on secularity of the state and freedom of beliefs.

“The lyrics are as follows:”

“End of the useless talking,
Enough of the stupid wars,
Secular government,
Dignified life,
Is my goal,
Vote wisely”

\m/ – metal!

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