Team Sarah’s Wonderful World of Color

Stinquer Tommmcatt forwards an email sent today by Team Sarah, imploring adepts to attend the Sarah Palin bomb movie to keep the Lamestream Media from calling it the abject failure it is.

At least we think that’s what it says. If you view the original at our Scribd account, you’ll see why we’re having difficulties deciphering it.

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BUY TICKETS! or get people to come to the theater!

Empty seats inside and a small group milling around in the parking lot annoying passersby with offers of a free ticket?

Yeah, that’ll work.

ADD: Oh, shit! There’s a page two! What a plan! Begging people to go, supplying them with free tickets, not because it’s such a great movie but because the LSM needs to be taught a lesson!

What lesson is that? Never underestimate the stupidity of a grifter’s fan base!

Apparently there’s a backup plan for these folks who constantly assert that we should “listen to the free market”: stuff your fist up its ass and MAKE it say what you want.

The real question is, how many of the DVD pressing will be bought by anyone BUT SarahPAC?

Would someone just go ahead and create a font called “Epileptic Ransom Note” already?

If something is IMPORTANT IT GOES IN ALL CAPS!

There are not enough ways to make the words look different!

Not enough, but WE FORGOT WE COULD SWITCH FONTS SO WE WILL JUST CHANGE POINT SIZES AND DO RANDOM SHIFTS INTO ITALIC!

What kind of email do you think will make us look both insane and completely inept?

MAYBE NOT THIS ONE, but we came DAMN CLOSE!

@Promnight: Well Well Well. Lookie who is back!

Home is the place where they take you back no matter what.

Missed you around here too, Prommie.

Thanks TommmCatt, I’ve been off having a mid life nervous breakdown, of sorts. I am coming to accept that I am just Not Right, and thats the way it is.

So . . . plan B is to send out chain letters? I mean, it’s actually kind of genius in that those things never fucking die, but . . . really?

@Promnight: Hey! You’re grand as you are.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: So now they’re, what, borrowing marketing plans from regional theatres up and down the country trying to drag people off the street to see Strindberg translated to the Deep South? It’s worked so well for said theatres.

Benedick, I miss you most of all. Is that a line from The Wizard of Oz?

@JNOVjr: You’re assuming there was a Plan A.

Oh, I found their plan.

All this does is make the schadenfreude taste sweeter.

@Promnight:
Missed you too.

I am gonna plunge back in like I never been gone. Last weekend I made some dough to make pizzas on the grill. That was fun, but here I was tonight a week later with one last piece of dough in the fridge, raw dough, raised, sitting the the fridge for a week, thats ok, I figure the dough can only develop more flavor from unintended microbes joining the party. So I am making pan bread, frying that dough in a covered frying pan. I am only up this late because I am waiting for it to be done.

I made bread, I made it the most primitive way possible, on a hot flat surface. I’m going to eat a slice of this fresh, too fresh homemade bread, and go to bed, trying not to remember that tomorrow is more of the same.

@JNOV: Okay, Epileptic Ransom Note made wine come out of my nose. I hereby deem that COTD.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Don’t forget that to really provide emphasis “PUT THE COMMENT IN QUOTATION MARKS” – especially “UNEXPLAINED” and “INEXPLICABLE” use of quotes. Got “it”? (Make sure to not use proper punctuation with the quote marks, claro que si)

@Promnight: Hey darling. Welcome home to your dysfunctional Stinquey family. We’ve been waiting for you.

@Promnight: I was thinking ’bout you here last night. I thought that we’d see you again when you felt like surfacing.

@Promnight: I’m so glad you’re back. I’ve been fretting about what your absence might mean. I’m sorry you’ve been suffering. It sounds as if you’ve made your way through the worst of it and are coming out the other side. We’ve missed you.

@JNOV: I’m with San Fran Lefty. Epileptic Ransom Note is sheer genius.

If they’re not careful I will go to the fucking movie and throw cans of Red, White and Blue beer at the screen and shout TALIBUNNY, GO TO HELL AND SIT ON SATAN’S FACE every time she appears.

Yay! It’s about damn time I won something in this joint.

@FlyingChainSaw: I dare you. Take video.

@JNOV: epileptic ransom note. way to work. can i have your permission to use that term here at alleged work?

@FlyingChainSaw: RWB. the only time i’ve had RWB since high school was the year i served outside washington dc as a bank mismanagement trainee. it was $2.99/six in 1991-1992. make sure to fire up some marlboro reds while you’re at it.

@JNOV: Lemme see if I can find RWB. May end up having to substitute Keystone Light.

@SanFranLefty: @SanFranLefty: Oh, you’re always the provocateur, aren’t you?

@jwmcsame: Check this out – RWB has been out of production for a while. But Keystone Light in cans is still a big brand. Would that work? Is there another America-themed budget beer we should be considering?

Natty Light? Meisterbrau? Keystone is sooo Pennsyltucky, so that’ll work.

@FlyingChainSaw: drummond brothers. it had/has a confederate type logo on the can in silver and gray featuring crossed swords. perfect teabagger beer.
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/410/23024

PBR is still too common. creativity goes a long way in getting your point across. which is why i sometimes wonder if teabaggers intentionally misspell their signs for more notoriety……..until i hear them try to talk.

what about the beer archie bunker drank?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/albinoflea/195844086/

@JNOV: i worked at a bar where we sold 89 cent meisterbraus at happy hour. to illustrate just how unhappy an hour featuring 89 cent meisterbraus can be, dig this: a “patron” who didn’t realize it was happy hour and not happy hour and ten minutes pulled a compass (not the kind that points north) on me demanding one last 89 cent “mister brew, by god” even though it was too late. he was refused service and suffered a broken hand and compass courtesy of the bouncer who moonlighted along side reggie white on the football team. had the patron bothered to tip me the meager 11 cents each time he bought a meisterbrau earlier, everything would have turned out different.

felonious compass:
http://www.staples.com/Staedtler-Geo-Student-Compass/product_371130

@jwmcsame: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Was this when Reggie was with the Eagles?

@FlyingChainSaw: You know how I roll.

@jwmcsame: Oh! You need a job. What can you do to keep us alive and safe during cannibal anarchy?

@jwmcsame: Pabst is way too trendy. Talibunny will claim she was attacked by hipsters. Meisterbrau is an inspired choice. There’s always Ballantine, too. A tall can of either brew arcing through the theatre and splitting open on the projected image of the Talibunny in full raging hate-fueled rant would completely confound the Talibunny and her minions in determining the provenance of the attack.

@FlyingChainSaw: And you can save a can of Ballantine for a long satisfying piss on a nearby teabagger.

So are you going to do it or not?

@SanFranLefty: This may be the most sensible protocol. Hurl Meisterbrau. Drink Ballantine.

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