All the World’s a Buddy Movie

With the country on the brink of default and the world on the brink of collapse, The Preznit of These United States stepped to the podium yesterday afternoon to answer queries from the elite of Our Exceptional Nation’s Press Corps. AP White House correspondent Ben Feller showed why our reporters are the envy of the world by immediately drilling to the heart of the issue:

You said you want the leaders back here at 11 a.m. to give you an answer about the path forward. What is your answer about the path forward? What path do you prefer, given what’s just happened?

Aptly put, Brother Feller. Set the spin aside and get The Preznit on the record about his own priori—

Wait — you’re not done?