Ooo! Varda, Varda! Bona polone! Bona rair!

Now that Rebekah Brooks has resigned, we here at Stinque can better concentrate on the issue that has kept us wondering throughout this developing scandal which has already engulfed one of Britain’s most venerable institutions and looks set to engulf more, namely — Who Does Her Hair?

As the women of Stinque (and some Stinque men: you know who you are) can attest, a do like that does not come cheap. Though it looks like she just jumped out of the shower, scrobbled it quickly with a towel before running for a bus, such a coiffure can only be achieved after significant spendy-time in a Knightsbridge salon listening to cockney stylists whining about their boyfriends. Or even worse, taking the morning train to Paris so the only colorist who can really pull off that particular tone of hebridean ginge can breathe stale garlic fumes all over one’s tuck box from Fauchon.

I would guesstimate the color job would cost upwards of $600 and the cut? $400? (Full disclosure: I am pulling these figures out of my ass but let’s face it, someone’s got to now the News of the World is no longer with us.) But if one is going to be stood up in front of parliament to answer for one’s crimes before being hauled off to the Tower, one does not want one’s roots to be showing.

Though the American People, naturally enough, could not give a rat’s ass about any of it and are sick and tired of insufferably snotty Limey reporters shrieking at Chris Matthews on Hardball, Prime Minister David Cameron, caught outside his home in Chipping Sodbury burning his collection of didgeridoos, remarked “Cripes! This is worse than the time Hesione fried the cat and got smacked botty from nanny Bingle. It cuts to the heart of all we hold sacred. It simply isn’t cricket.” Ed Miliband, Labour leader, immediately pounced on the prime minister’s remark, characterizing it as ‘insensitive’. “At a time like this do we really need to be reminded that the Aussies kick the shit out of us every year at Lords’?” he queried over a ploughman’s lunch at the BBC commissary. “Haven’t we suffered enough? Now is not the time to be dividing the nation. Let us instead try to remember what makes us great. Pass the Branston.”


She’s gorgeous. But you’re right, I never gave a moment’s thought to how her hair gets that way.

‘Allo guvnuh. ‘Tis Infusium 23 it is to tame that frizz, and rightly so. Chuck chuck cheerio!

Head of Dow Jones resigned today, too.

Still not getting better for Rupie.

Carmageddon update from LA: traffic on the two affected freeways moving smoothly. Updates to follow.

it grows out of her head that way Dodge, and i would know.
do not believe the pictures i post of my shining smooth locks. i have becky’s hair. exactly. it needs to be colored, 3 different colors, mind you, to best approximate my natural sun kissed light brown. blown out by anyone but me, and flat-ironed into submission. it lasts about 4 hours, anywhere but the desert.
why becky has chosen to wear her, that way, is beyond my comprehension. but to the important news:
there is a newish procedure and product for the frizz heads and i just had it done wednesday, last. it’s called “KERATIN” and in my long life, it is the miracle i’ve been waiting for since miss larkin in 7th grade biology explained to us the holes in your head determine the appearance of your hair. it was quite a blow, believing one day soon science would correct the mistake of my hair. i am so pleased with this product, she must be told.
and i had to share it here. it’s pricey, natch, but will last up to 6 months. i won’t torture you with the details of the procedure, unless you want me to. i wash my hair now, and it dries smooth and shining. a miracle, it’s a MIRACLE. it inspired a 30 something comment thread on the Book, and all i kept saying was why didn’t anyone tell me??? (it was suggested by a stylest in new york last month and my very own on the island, which i poo pooed)
so now you can’t say that i did not lead you to the holy grail.

@baked: I think curly hair is sexy. Why women want to straighten it, is beyond me.

@baked: Congrats on the stiffener. Wear it in health.

No one’s hair grows like Rebekah’s. She reminds me of the time I used to get my hair cut in a place on 57th opposite Bonwit’s called Cinandré. It was full of Franch models whose hair had been made the same mass of tempestuous curls. I’m sure she’s basically a frizz-head but that’s some serious money working the fro. Don’t believe me? Watch how she tosses it. She’s very aware of how distinctive it is. This does not make her a bad person, BTW. If my hair looked like that I’d toss it, too. It’s the rest of the stuff that makes her a bad person.

curly, yes. squirrels’s nest, no. full disclosure: it does curl up in the humidity, but in a human looking way.

@Benedick HRH KFC:
thank you mums. i can’t imagine anyone choosing this look, the very nemesis of my self esteem. yes, i do shallow.

@Dodgerblue: agreed – curly hair, especially red, is sexy.

And yes – I would hit it. Does that make me a bad person?

I wear my frizzhead proudly. If only my hair didn’t attack me while I sleep. Think Imma have 4-5 inches lopped off, but long layers do a frizzhead good. No one wants to look like Professor X’s triangle head alien GF.

@JNOV: I’m letting my JewFro wave grow out a bit. My hair is somewhere between salt-and-pepper and gray, so I need to take some care not to look like an old homeless guy — of whom we have many here in Santa Monica.

@Dodgerblue: Ain’t nothing wrong with a JewFro. I wish I’d never started hennaing my hair — I’d have a Rogue streak going by now (yeah, I need to stop with the comics).

I’ve been thinking about LA county a lot recently, maybe because I have John Frusciante on the mind. When I lived there, I heard that there are something like 60,000-80,000 homeless people in the county. It blew my mind. Most of the homeless folks I saw were kids. It broke my heart.

@JNOV: I think the number now in the County is substantially less than that, but we have a lot in the small city of Santa Monica. My office is 1/2 a block from a shelter + services facility for the homeless.

@Dodgerblue: Good. I’d heard that range on NPR, and I was shocked. It’s hard to believe I lived in Hollywood almost four years ago. I was on Whitley, and there were huge numbers of kids there. I liked LA, but living in Hollywood got old very fast. I took me over an hour to get to work on Little Santa Monica near the Staples — Westwood, I think. Driving near Beverly Hills was the worst. There was a Pete’s near my office. Anyway, yeah. I miss the Pacific something fierce.

I was pretty startled by the number of homeless people in San Francisco. Or maybe I’ve just forgotten what living in a city is like.

@Benedick HRH KFC: CA has more than its fair share — I think the weather has a lot to do with it, the Go West, Young Person thing probably does, and many in San Diego are ex-military. We used to take over the high school field near Balboa Park one weekend a year and give free medical care/baths/haircuts/dental care to anyone who came. We were *not* allowed to ask if they had any prior military service.

@Benedick HRH KFC: LA has SF beat in terms of sheer number of homeless, but they have a much larger area to spread them out. SF is 7 miles by 7 miles, so the homeless are concentrated in a few areas here. I have gotten so used to it that it’s only when I go to some US cities or foreign cities that I say “Where are all the homeless people.” Like JNOV said, the weather and relatively tolerant live-and-let-live attitude does it. JNOV also might be interested (and not surprised) to know that of the younger homeless that SF attracts, a disproportionate number of them are LGBT kids who have been kicked out of their homes, and a disproportionate percentage of that group of kids come from Mormon families in Utah, Oregon, Idaho, Nevada, and rural parts of California.

Oh, and back to the subject of Rebekah’s hair: I love it. My hair grows that way. I’ve just never had the patience to grow it out that long – when the hair in my ponytail starts touching my neck it drives me to cut my hair. But indeed, if your hair grows that way, a towel and a bunch of product are what it takes. baked: Don’t hate the way your hair naturally is – embrace it.

@SanFranLefty: Does Santa Cruz still protect its homeless? It used to be illegal to roust people sleeping on the beach. And yeah to the kids. ::sigh::

SFL – regarding homeless in other cities – it may have something to do with the number of vacant buildings available to them in other cities. Here in Wilmington there are a lot of empty houses. There are also many shelters for homeless to spend the night and maybe get a shower. There are community centers where they are welcome during the day too. The library downtown sees a lot of business from the homeless during th worst part of the winter and summer. The weather can be too harsh much of the year to live on the street but many still do.

JNOV – great community service at the school. Was it a military supported effort?

@DElurker: Yup. I was stationed up the hill at Balboa Naval Hospital, but we had doctors, corpsmen and dental techs come in from all over the county (SD is huge with military). We’d set up a tent city and get to work. We used to have our PT tests at the school’s track, and we used to jog through Balboa Park at lunch (that was lovely — 1.5 hours for lunch so you could run through the park). Anyway, yeah. It was a big deal. It was called Operation Standdown, and it was probably the coolest thing I did there. This was in the late ’80s, so some of the vets we saw were probably from Vietnam, and the thinking was that some may have deserted — that’s why we didn’t hassle them about prior service or ID or anything. DAV (Disabled American Veterans) had a tent in case people wanted to apply for benefits or at least get counseled. I hope they still do it.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: SQUICK. Are you talking about her weird mouth thing when she looks at him? Squick. Just squick.

@SanFranLefty: @JNOV:
fro-ed girls have issues, what can i say? this isn’t news.
growing up, the style was long and straight, and i did covet that look which i could never have. it’s a novelty, now i know what it feels like, and i like it.
it will last but a few months and i’ll re visit my psyche.
jnov and i ran in the rain once to get to a restaurant, and i would call her hair luxurious, not like the small bomb that went off in my hair.
i remember thinking our hair was very similar, and my hair felt so comfortable with her hair. i have always been self conscious about it, particularly at a table with shining haired ladies and needing 2 seats to accommodate mine. it’s a bitch in the tropics too. i always need a bandanna or hat to avoid being mistaken for don king. i have issues!
with the help of my 2 like headed friends here i will try to embrace it, i will toss it about and think about rebekka too. change is good, this change is delightful for now. my fro will grow back, i have to work on the part under the hair. xoxo

darling, don’t cut it! we have to wear it long to avoid the dreaded roseann rosannadanna! and yes, layering does a frizzhead good.
i just saw the tweet. i’ve left a squirrel homeless…aaaand back on topic.

i’ve never seen a homeless person here. we have tons of fine church goin folk who take care of anyone in need. new york? they are piled on every street corner, even on the upper east side. especially on the upper east side, where they are very likely to have many benefactors. i’ve written this before–i’ve heard people discuss “their own homeless person” who they take care of every day. really!

Hokay. Sleeping baked pic posted in the clubhouse; she’s hugging her best friend. In my defense:

1. This picture is in retaliation for when she took a picture of me while I was sleeping (one I haven’t seen, so I’m ascared. Payback is a bitch. Luckily, the odds on her finding it on her computer are low. ;-P)

2. She approved the posting of that picture. Truly.

@baked: Love you, Rotten Child! Your hair is beautimous.

@baked: Mine is down to the small of my back, and sleeping is a nightmare. I think four inches or so is what the doctor ordered.

@JNOV: Yeah, she looks like she’s preparing to eat his face with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

@baked: @baked: Before I read the rest of the comments, I have to say that it is my belief no woman walks the planet who believes the type of hair she was born with is just right. From my ancestors I inherited a head larger than Charlie Brown’s and the same shape along with the straightest hair imaginable. It seems that me that if there were a benevolent God, He or She (especially if it’s She) would have at least paired the Polish/Ukrainian squarehead with lots of nice naturally curly hair, you know, so as to balance out the acres of face with acres of fascinating curls.

@lynnlightfoot: +1. Plus when the gods ripped our hair from our heads so we must walk about bald. As Odin said: I would take friz over bald any day.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Yeah. Squick. Although I wouldn’t mind seeing him and her parents reach that end. I remember my parents warning me about growing up too fast (I was playing at punkish and new wave hair and make up). Maybe I am getting old, but I was never quite going for porn star cannibal.

@lynnlightfoot: Yes. There should also be a non-surgical way to balance childbearing hips with bewbs.

yes, yes, yes. file under “the grass is always greener”

Rebekka got arrested today. Will the authorities let her stylists visit her in gaol?

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