Photoshop is for Pussies

You might recall the Situation Room Meme — this was Before Weiner, so we’ll understand if it slipped your mind — which involved the Internets trying to top each other’s replacement of characters starring in the Bin Laden Death Watch. One of our favorites was the Superhero Situation Room, starring Barack Obama as Captain America.

But hey, any wimp can doctor a photo. It takes a real jock to update a 1954 socialist realist statue.

‘Banksy of Bulgaria’ Turns Soviet-Era Statues into American Superheroes [Comics Alliance]

That’s awesome! Santa looks bad-ass but Ronald “Don’t Call Me ‘Clown'” McDonald is just fierce!

Onward Marvel and DC Komrades!

It would seem fitting if the artists painted a Stalin Statue, Superman.*

*only because in Rooshin, Stalin is “Man of Steel.”

There was actually a short-run comic series in which Superman is raised in the USSR:

In Red Son, Superman’s rocket ship lands on a Ukrainian collective farm rather than in Kansas, an implied reason being a small time difference (a handful of hours) from the original timeline, meaning Earth’s rotation placed the Ukraine in the ship’s path instead of Kansas. Instead of fighting for “…truth, justice, and the American Way”, Superman is described in Soviet radio broadcasts “…as the Champion of the common worker who fights a never-ending battle for Stalin, socialism, and the international expansion of the Warsaw Pact.” His “secret identity” (i.e. the name his adoptive parents gave him) is a state secret.

I’m confused. Does this mean the artist equates us with the Soviets?

@redmanlaw: how did sgt. furykovich and the howling comrads fit into this history rewrite? did they survive the big one and whup any ass in the cold war?

@jwmcsame: Fury is in the Marvel Universe. Superman is DC. The Howling Commandos are in a trailer for the Captain America movie. Nick Fury is now a black guy in the Marvel Universe (he’s at the end of Thor and in the Iron Man movies, played by Samuel L. Jackson) and the U.S. armed forces were racially segregated until about 1948, so the current incarnation of Nick Fury could not have served with the Howling Commandos in WW2. Fury is not in the trailer, although he may appear in the Captain America movie.

Having WW2 soldiers stay alive and active into the current day or near future is a tough issue for comic writers. They rely upon devices such as the old “held in suspended animation in an iceberg” trick or “Fury got shot up with special anti-aging drugs cooked up by Stark Industries (Iron Man’s dad).”

Analysis of Captain America trailer:

@redmanlaw: thanx for the info. has there ever been a comic anti-hero who has certain human weaknesses, drawbacks, and a few moral problems but still fights for good and all that?

college world series. cal is beating texas scam right now 7-3. cal batting in the top of the 8th. if texas scam loses, w the shoe dodger has to go home because texas got put out yesterday. he threw out the opening pitch saturday and didn’t fuck it up somehow.

@jwmcsame: Anti-hero? The Punisher. Total vigilante after drug dealers killed his family.

@jwmcsame: Magneto

ADD: Daredevil. Wolverine. Phoenix. Emma Frost. Shit, all the X-Men and New Mutants except for Cyclops.

Epic as this piece is, the artist in me is strongly tempted to fly to Bulgaria just to get the Superman logo right and touch up the drips. Perhaps I am secretly OCD. Either way, only the lack of disposable income prevents this from happening.

@matador1015: What I like about that piece is how much they look like old school Justice Society of America (the Golden Age forerunner to the current Justice League of America in the DC Universe.) The kneeling guy at the lower right, for instance, looks a bit like the original Green Lantern.

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