Nissan Leaf

See also: the Chevrolet Volt, and coming soon, the electric Ford Focus and C-Max. I think the electric offerings from all the majors are worth checking out, if you’re looking at something to reduce your carbon footprint.

But where is the added badness? The ultrabadness required to make people want to get into this fucking thing and turn tarmac into talcum? You want a car that will attract drivers, you build a car that state troopers will denounce as a threat to the public order and safety. The ads that will sell them will feature staties sitting in the open doors of police helicopters with rifles and crossbows going up on patrols to hunt the new car, ending with the voice over, ‘Fuck, yes! You are Kowalski and this time, you WILL live!’

You’re right about the other one. I’ve got 21,000 miles on mine since I picked it up in August as the first delivered by the Nissan dealer in Lewisville, TX, and almost as much fun to drive everyday as it was the few times I’ve put it on a road-course track. Two weeks after I got it I drove it to my 50th high school reunion, and that was the best road trip I’ve ever taken.

@FlyingChainSaw: I think the Tesla roadster does 0-60 in the high 3’s. That’s Viper territory.

@Dodgerblue: A guy who lives down the hill from me owns a Tesla. And he has a Flying Spaghetti Monster emblem on it.

@Dodgerblue: Could do better by getting rid of crap like doors.

Cripes, Ron Paul is making clear sense about getting the fuck out of Afganistan and Iraq.

@FlyingChainSaw: Broken clock, such as.

It’s called a fucking Leaf.

No, it’s not. If it were called a Fucking Leaf, it would make it to Almost Kinda Sorta Bad. Mos def not anywhere near ultrabad. Nojo’s new throne is more exciting.

@JNOV knows Sport: They should call it “Sweet Leaf” and sell it to stoners and metal heads.

@FlyingChainSaw: If they want electric cars to sell, they need to stick playing cards in the spokes.

@nojo: If they want electric cars to sell, they need to sponsor TV shows with test drivers in ball gags, with some much scarred flesh on their face from crashes they can barely see, grunting their commentary at the cabin camera as automatic weapons fire explodes around the car from state trooper helicopters in hot, but futile pursuit.

@JNOV knows Sport: Right, they should have called it Stupid Fucking Tulip.

There is a university researcher someplace, saw him in a couple of stories, who is working on electrics and likes the potential performance aspects, deep into the ultrabadness angle. I saw a picture of him once and he looked like a refugee from a Rat Patrol re-run with huge goggle white-out lines around his eyes. Apparently, he doesn’t bother with doors and roofs on the prototypes, a design conceit I think any manufacturer would retain in production models. I can see the ads now. “Doors are for ASSHOLES who can’t figure out they need to stay in the car while they’re driving! And ASSHOLES shouldn’t be driving a car that can do 0-100 MPH in 2 seconds flat!”