I Am He As You Are He

TMZ has uncovered a photo of Newt Gingrich sunning himself in Greece that is so disturbing, so unfit for human consumption, we insist that you sign a release absolving us of all legal liability before you read any further.

Topless Newt Gingrich — On a Rock, In a Hard Place [TMZ]

At least he’s not wearing Speedos.

Yeah, that’s nowhere near as bad as the Charlie Rangel photo. It is, however, very disturbing that Newt has acquired Britney Spears status.

Newt Gingrich… campaigning for sunburn king.

Still not as Shocking!™ as the Vanity Fair photo of what appeared to be Ted Kennedy on his boat schtupping some damsel, but I hope he doesn’t think he’s got a Schwarznegger physique or anything.

So far no Jabba the Newt and Callista as metal bikini Leia photoshops, but I think that was implied.

At least he does the public service of making us all feel a little better about how we look in a bathing suit.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: OK, don’t panic–deep breaths–worst case scenario is that you could go work for one of the consulting firms around there, right? I happen to know that a lot of them are staffing up.

@¡Andrew!: True that. And Print Production people don’t come cheap.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Print Production people don’t come cheap.

And when they do, at least they get to work out of coffeehouses.

Wow, I’m shocked. I thought he would have really really huge tits.

I’d hit it.

Fashion note, for all us guys who might be carrying a tad too much bloat up front (not me. Catt?) – thongs! The most flattering garment a man of a certain age can drag up his sagging ass. You won’t look good (Well, I look good, but that’s a different story) but you will look better than if you try to wear those long shorts that only look good on college boys. And Johnny Earle (but he can wear anything. Sigh).

So Newtron, next time you abscond from your pres campaign (I bet Callista just loves when you’re a bad bad boy. Does she pull down those shorts and smack you? I bet she does. Does she smack you till your ass is crimson and you’re all teary-eyed begging for mercy? I bet she does.) grab some thongs on the way to JFK and welcome how it feels up your butt. That is your future.

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