Dept. of “I’m not making this up.”
Inexplicably popular GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain wants to clarify something. When he said that he would not appoint a Muslim to his cabinet, what he meant was that he would be uncomfortable appointing a member of Al Qaeda to his cabinet:
[ Crooks & Liars Flash video not available. ]
A breath of fresh air, we say! Would that all presidential candidates informed us that they don’t plan on appointing any memebers of Al Qaeda to their cabinet! But alas, political correctness forbids it.
Meanwhile, sources who wish to remain anonymous tell Stinque that Governor Tim Pawlenty is preparing a major policy speech in which he will announce that he will not be appointing any serial killers to his cabinet. It has also been widely rumored that Romney advisors are urging him to announce on Meet The Press this Sunday that he will not appoint any one to the Supreme Court who has been convicted (even just once) of child molestation.
The ball’s in your court, Barack Obama!
(Via Crooks and Liars)
Cain should be embarrassed by this ridiculous walkback -he’s all but claiming that he meant he would appoint “Akmed the Dead Terrorist” to his cabinet.
Then again, if he expanded it to, “I won’t appoint religious fanatics that want to remake America in the image of their bizarro fundamentalist theology” he wouldn’t have many Republican choices left for the Cabinet…
Will there be a Secretary of Pizza?
@ManchuCandidate: Deep dish, per his answer last night.
I prefer thin crust myself.
@ManchuCandidate: As do I. Too bad nobody asked Cain about pineapple.
And while we’re in the neighborhood…
Cain’s shtick of defining the problem and siccing experts on it didn’t play well last night. Bachmann won by virtue of not seeming batshit crazy — imagine a well-read Sarah Palin — and Mitt only “won” because he didn’t lose.
Oh, and Timmy’s a wimp. Imagine America’s surprise.
Doesn’t surprise me. If there’s one thing the GOP base is skeptical of it’s experts (meaning, people who actually know what they’re talking about).
@Serolf Divad: Perhaps I should have put “experts” in quotes…
Cain clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He approaches government like a management consultant, arguing that all problems are solvable if only we define them correctly.
Which, in my view, makes him a solid Wittgensteinian. But I digress.
Where the shtick fails is that Cain never provides an example of what he’s talking about. (Ron Paul, at least, plays out how the Fed is the root of all evil.) And since a room of five “experts” will give you five different answers, Cain never explains how he would decide among competing expertise.
So, Cain’s just blowing smoke. Which isn’t news. But even in a GOP presidential primary, being a one-trick pony will only take you so far.
@nojo: you reckon he likes being the only black person around when he goes out teabagging?
does godfathers pizza exist anymore? if so, where? or did he run it into the ground? i’ve enjoyed the pizza wars around here lately. what used to cost almost $20 delivered from pizza hut with limited toppings is now $10 with all you can pile on top. pappa johns with their too sweet crust and nasty sauce also has a $10 special. i refuse to eat dominos new pizza because i delivered them for too long a while back. but i’ll never forget my pot selling manager who offered cops in uniform and squad cars freebies (pizza) to make sure we never got ticketed when we got pulled over for making sure that 30 minute clock never clicked too far down. that manager kept all our neighborhoods customers happy as long as they tipped, ran his profitable side business and kept the cops happy working both sides of the aisle. more than once i observed a cop on duty eating a free small pepperoni in his squad car while others were burning one in the same parking lot. i guess he had called some kinda truce. no one ever got busted or ticketed, we never got robbed and the cops were happy. sometimes they would park their squad cars driver side by driver side while throwing down a large supreme with extra cheese. once a cop came and got one with a prisoner in the back and let him have a few slices.
@jwmcsame: Don’t forget Mr. West of Florida.
@nojo: florida is pretty much out lunaticing the rest of the good ole u s of a these days. that’s saying alot considering the competiton here on rocky top, elsewhere in the south, and of course arizona. they recently passed a bill requiring welfare and state aid recipients including unemployment to submit to drug tests which will cost the state millions to perform considering nobody is gonna show up just to fail and risk losing their cash. plus, the state must reimburse all those that pass.
check this blog out for more on florida (i go there every day) and read up on scott rothstein who was recently featured on american greed.
@jwmcsame: California used to be the Crazy State, until Kitty Harris stole the trophy.
If elected president I promise I will appoint NO cannibals and arsonists to my cabinet, unlike the incumbent who has filled his all his cabinet posts with them.
@jwmcsame: Doesn’t Rick Scott’s wife own and operating a pisstestoir? Doesn’t she stand to become wealthy because of this practice? Shouldn’t the both of them be crucified on Lincoln Road?
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