Sometimes We Just Hate Ourself
The problem with — must we? — Weinergate is that you have no choice but to take the Red Pill: the prosecution and the defense are equally absurd, and you’re down the Rabbit Hole before you know it, desperately craving a drink.
Case in point: a hypothesis humbly proposed yesterday — CASE CLOSED! CONGRESSMAN WEINER WAS FRAMED! — by blogger Joseph Cannon, who offered conclusive proof that not only was Weiner’s yfrog account hacked, but how.
And, after spending a half-hour following his steps to confirm the procedure, we suddenly realized that he’s full of shit.
Here’s how the hack is supposed to work: Once you set up a yfrog account, as we did last night, you get a “secret” email address where you can send your photos. (We used to do this through Flickr with the old Stinque Jams, so it’s a common trick.) But the email address is only “secret” because you’re not supposed to tell anybody about it.
So Cannon offered a simple proof-of-concept challenge: Could anyone post a rogue photo to his yfrog account?
Turns out someone could! It was ridiculously easy!
And why? Because he posted his secret yfrog email address.
Which is akin to complaining that somebody broke into your locker after you wrote the combination on the door.
To be fair, Cannon accounts for that, claiming the yfrog email address could have been discovered if Weiner emailed any photo to yfrog and cc’d another address. But there we lose the simplicity of the hypothesis, since how would Weiner’s obsessed enemy get ahold of it?
But here’s the real problem: Why did we spend a half-hour testing it when the evidence that it was full of shit was in plain sight?
Next time, we’re sticking with the Blue Pill. We swear.
the biggest laugh i got all day was listening to him answer questions. he was stammering and sputtering and his beady eyes were scanning the room for an exit sign for bolting. with perjury on his mind, he would NOT deny that he has sexted in his tidy whities….ah, smell the news..it feels like cocktober!
this sounds familiar. who was the asshat who did bolt for the door?
millboy?
No one looks good in this.
On the other hand, the wingnuts have made a serious attempt to neuter one of their fiercest opponents by hook or by crook. Hopefully this makes Weiner meaner.
@ManchuCandidate: Weiner’s just scared shitless of Hillary taking out a piece of his ass, since he married Huma Abedin, Hill’s right-hand-woman of many years, last summer and Hillary has said she considers Huma to be like a second daughter. (Wingnuts have accused the two of being lesbian lovers). I’d be more concerned about the Wrath of Hillary than the right wingers.
ADD: Bubba married them. Not an auspicious start. And I try not to bodysnark, but girlfriend needs to eat a sandwich if Weiner’s hands can fit around her waist.
However, let’s also bear in mind that Sen. Vitter, despite being caught in his diapers chasing ho’s around, is still serving. And if Breitbart is behind this, why should I give him any creditability? The right side of the aisle is the one that wants to emphasize living without sin (yet still seems to have the lion’s share of creeps). Doesn’t give Weiner a pass, but let’s get back to creating jobs, shall we?
@SanFranLefty: no shit. slick presided over a marriage huh? are the any photos of weiner and slick smirking while the “i do(s), but not really(s)” were exchanged and then high fiveing each other and hitting on the bridesmaids later at the reception?
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@matador1015: Sen. Vitter, despite being caught in his diapers chasing ho’s around, is still serving.
To be fair, Bubba didn’t quit either.
@baked: I’m on the verge of just enjoying the spectacle. When I first heard that he couldn’t say for certain it wasn’t his package, I thought he was making a joke. But then I saw him on Rachel last night, and he was serious.
I can say with certainty that I don’t own gray boxer-briefs.
On the other hand, his denials that he posted the photo have always been clear. Why hedge on one but not the other?
He still gets the strong benefit of the doubt, especially with Breitbart in the mix. But anything but a simple denial doesn’t make sense.
Final point: This is an extremely slow week for political news. There’s nothing else out there but Palin’s bus, and, um, Weiner’s caught in the vacuum.
By 2034, everyone will have been an Xtube porn star for 15 minutes, and “congressman tweets hard-on” headlines will seem as quaint as “woman exposes ankle on subway.”
But all that really means is that someone would need to be aware of or else brute-force guess the name of Weiner’s personal email account. How did that idiot teenager stumble upon Snowbilly’s personal email account way back when?
Anyway, my general axiom is this. Andrew Breitbart lies and fabricates, serially and mendaciously, and generally doesn’t give a fuck whose lives he tramples over in the process of destroying his percieved enemies. Therefore, whenever he breaks a story, or takes a particular position on a story he didn’t break, I take that position, and find the exact opposite, and presume that *that* is the truth of the matter. I’ve been employing that approach since the first ACORN thing, and it’s yet to have pointed me wrong.
In this case, oh, geez, Breitbart seems to be calling attention to allegations that Anthony Weiner was sexting some lady in a particularly stupid manner, but that only one person on earth (himself obsessed with the notion that Anthony Weiner is chatting up young ladies) noticed. Only, OH WAIT, Breitbart lies, constantly, so clearly Weiner’s account was hacked -probably by that one guy- to embarrass him and Anthony Weiner did nothing untoward. QED.
You have to admit, the “Anything Andrew Breitbart says or does is a lie” approach to assessing the truth is pretty elegant in its simplicity.
@¡Andrew!: Seriously, if sending a cock shot to someone is a sign of unsavory creepiness than I know a shit ton of unsavory creeps.
@homofascist: I’m all in favor of savory kahk shots–too bad I can’t get ’em on my Razr. Did I mention that I hit the showers at the University’s gym the other day after a five-mile run at the exact same time that both the soccer team and the swim team finished their afternoon practice? It was like Xtube in 3D!
Back on topic, has any wimmins anywhere in the history of the world ever been happy that a guy sent her a kahk shot?
What @mumbly_joe said. That’s my MO in cases like this. While we’re talking about Slick Willie, I found out somewhere along the way that Kenneth Starr was a graduate of my high school. I’m still depressed about that. I must go find out where Beritbart matriculated so I can commiserate with his colleagues.
@homofascist: I just don’t see what the big deal is. Breitbart is going after Weiner because he’s the only Democrat in Congress that shows any spine–until, of course, he’s confronted with a cock shot. I think Jon Stewart responded better than Weiner did when he basically said, “I’ve seen Weiner’s weiner, and he just wishes that one was his.”
@¡Andrew!: No. I think I can speak for womankind when I say, that’s just creepy.
@mumbly_joe:
Works for me.
@matador1015: Mitch McConnell attended the same high school as I did. On the bright side, so did Pee Wee Reese.
Question: Since Weiner wants to be mayor, how is this playing in NYC?
@¡Andrew!: I feel we need to discuss this further and in more detail.
@mellbell: Wavy Gravy attended the same high school I did (not at the same time). Liz Phair attended my college (also not at the same time).
@Walking Still: Patty Duke and Michael Ovitz attended my high school. Bonnie Raitt attended my wife’s.
@Dodgerblue: “Mary Ann” from Gilligan’s Island attended my college, as did Jean Kirkpatrick and Beverly Sills. Also, not at the same time (though Paula Zahn and Jennifer Tilly were in my class).
@Mistress Cynica: Edward Abbey and I were both reporters at the University of New Mexico student newspaper. No one famous went to my high school, except maybe for the costume designer for the first two X-Men and Superman Returns movies.
All the undie color talk reminds me of that blessedly short fad on Facebook when women were sharing what color undergarments they were wearing (and it was going to cure breast cancer or something?). My favorite contribution was my friend who called bullshit on her friends by pointing out there’s no way everyone’s wearing purple lace or leopard print on a weekday in the middle of winter.
@Mistress Cynica: As the number of these instances has multiplied over the years, I really feel bad for some of these guys. Most of them honestly don’t understand that women DO NOT WANT.
We can easily guess the subject of the first Polaroid, and the reaction from that man’s lady friends.
@¡Andrew!: Polaroid? Try the first tintype. Or the first cave painting.
@¡Andrew!: Apparently, many women do not care for fish and big game print flannel pjs, per my survey of returned items at the Cabela’s Bargain Cave in SLC earlier this week.
@Mistress Cynica: Too many Famous UO Alumni to mention, but I think Ann Curry overlapped me a year or two at the J-school. Wasn’t aware of her at the time.
@nojo: Really? She’s such a babe.
@nojo: When did the site become “reputable”? I’m a bit disappointed.
@homofascist: That’s how my husband and I met.
Not sure whether I wanna dive into this for the morning, so if I don’t, please enjoy The Smoking Gun on the Weiner fingerer. He’s even more batshit crazy than you’d expect!
@nojo: But how do we know “Dan Wolfe” really exists? Is there non-social media proof of life existence?
What tilts me in the direction of hacking/prank/hoax is the Weiner is married and never leaves the East coast. How was he going to hook up w/ a student in Seattle?
@Mistress Cynica: You do speak for woman-hood on ¡Andrew!‘s question. Just doesn’t do it for me. Dicks are just ugly.
@blogenfreude: Excellent point. He is such the quintessential provencial Noo Yawker that he breaks out in hives if he ever had to fly out of EWR (nevermind that EWR is the only good thing in Jersey and superior to LGA and JFK) or leave the Eastern time zone.
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