Stinque Demands Cut of Bristol Palin’s Salary for Writing This Post

Haha! The stepmother bought me a pair of those hooker shoes when I was a tween. The maternal unit was not pleased. The stepmother doesn’t even like me. They weren’t the superhigh ones, but they were certainly not age-appropriate. But, hey, nothing was getting between Brooke Shields and her Calvins back then, and I hadn’t begun to recognize all the pervs that populate my family as the pervs that they are. I just liked the noise they made when I walked around, kind like Dr. Scholl’s with a little sass.

You forgot the “TM” next to Bristol’s name, Nojo. She’ll come after us!

“If you do your research you’ll find that most nonprofits compensate their celebrity spokespeople and Bristol’s no different.”
–Team Bristol

Umm, sorry, no, Team Bristol. As someone who has worked at six different nonprofits in the past 18 years, I can assure you that most nonprofits do not pay their celebrity spokespeople a quarter million dollars to film a PSA or do a few public appearances in a year. At most their reasonable* travel expenses would be reimbursed. In fact, most celebrity spokespeople are expected to donate money to said nonprofit because it’s a two-way relationship. The spokesperson is getting the aura and imprimatur of the nonprofit in exchange for bringing attention to the nonprofit.

Guide Star is going to rip that group a new asshole. (Guide Star is the independent group that analyzes the tax returns of nonprofits and rates them based upon efficiency and whether the nonprofit is just a tax scam). Wonder if the IRS would sniff around, or else we’d start hearing caterwalling about the oppression of the Black Mooslem Kenyan’s jackbooted thugs harassing poor little Bristol.

* E.g., requesting certain models of Cessnas and bendy-straws for your diet Cokes on board said Cessna is not considered reasonable. Picking a day flight over a cheaper red-eye is considered reasonable (for spokespeople, not staff).

Obama: No budget deal yet.

@SanFranLefty: Guide Star? Ah. I did some brief Googling before posting, but I didn’t know where to find a source for nonprofit celebrity compensation.

for example, I heard from someone who works with Angelina Jolie at the UN raising money for kids and they adore her. She’s always there when they need her, never hogs the limelight, does anything they tell her, is tireless in raising money and doesn’t take a nickel. I mean they adore her.

But that’s liberal Hollywood. And such as.

@nojo: Kinda curious, so why were you on the E! Online website, big guy?

@SanFranLefty: Twitter lead, probably. Or something Memeorandum-related. Sometimes it takes three or four clicks to reach the source.

Oh, fuck: iPad Centipede. Tomorrow morning’s post may be delayed.

Letsee Brittany Spears was a spokeperson, got nailed by Justin T. as was Fergie who admits she has slept with anything that breathes. So what’s with Candies? Is that short for candida?
Bristol isn’t exactly a teen anymore. Her days are numbered. And is she dating anyone?

@Benedick is not as stupid as he looks.: Does she realize Africa isn’t a country yet?

@texrednface: Some local person has a company or something named “Candida.” I like my yeast in my bread, thanks.

@nojo: Call me when they get Frogger.

@SanFranLefty: What a ripoff! It doesn’t come with an iBong.

@nojo: You’ll never beat it.

Oh, hey! It’s Spike doing the Lizard, Eagle, Gorilla Dance! I’m finally voting troll.

@Benedick is not as stupid as he looks.: We /definitely/ need to compare notes on people we know. I worked for that UN agency, and it is all true – Jolie is hassle free, studies her stuff, and foots all her bills. I have a great story of her showing off her tats to mine blast victims in Cambodian rehab centers.

Roger Moore was apparently a total diva whenever he did Goodwill Ambassador stuff, and Barbara Hendricks? Double diva, but half of that is operatically deserved, I suppose.

@Nabisco: Wife of a collaborator. Musical not nazi. Barbara Hendricks was actually banned from the Met for being insufferably rude to practically everyone. Pity, she’s a fine singer.

But I think it’s nice about Ms. Jolie.

@Benedick is not as stupid as he looks.: Someone needs to find her a map, shove a fucking sandwich down her throat, and tie her tubes. Such as, for the children in the LDCs that she plans to adopt and also for the ones from her womb.