Our Name is Nojo, and We Have an Amphibian Problem

It’s not like we’re looking for this stuff, but once you become aware of it, it’s unavoidable:

A $600,000 frog sculpture that lights up, gurgles “sounds of nature” and carries a 10-foot fairy girl on its back could soon be greeting Defense Department employees who plan to start working at the $700 million Mark Center in Alexandria, Va. this fall. That is unless a new controversy over the price tag of the public art doesn’t torpedo the idea.

We understand that this could become debilitating over time, and we plan on entering a twelve-hop progr— no, no, no, no, no!

Pentagon Art: $600,000 Gurgling Toad Sculpture [US News]

this is fucking hilarious. is this the pentagons inner child?

seriously wtf. if you want to spend that kind of money on art

buy this

and I love that it “gurgles and lights up”. honest to god. a 15 foot version of that would make babies cry and dogs wet themselves.

a bigger picture

A fairy? Outside the Defense Dept? Is this supposed to celebrate the end of DADT? And is that a giant ball of shit the toad is holding in its mouth? What are we to read from these signifiers and what is the thing signified?

And now there’s this. 15 killed in Kabul in a protest turned violent over Terry Jones burning a koran.

@Capt Howdy: Yeesh. It wouldn’t bother me if the statue wasn’t so hideous.

Why does DoD need art? This is the Ministry of Death and Destruction, isn’t it?

This is an example of something we can’t blame on Bush … and it’s weapons grade stupid.

@blogenfreude: Bravo on “weapons-grade stupid.”

I’m no artist, but I clearly know a lot more about art than the “artist” who conceived and executed this inane thing. (Is some kind of nepotism the answer to how this could possibly have occurred?)

@blogenfreude: Oh yes we can. This kind of crap doesn’t happen overnight. There has to be proper planning, proposals, site reconnaissance, budget approval, getting the artist sober, etc. Unlike Iraq this crap takes years of planning. We might very well be able to blame Bush 1. Or even Reagan.

@lynnlightfoot: I just read the story and realized that at least, thank God, said 10-ft fairy and the gurgling frog are still only at the proposal stage, not yet cluttering up the universe.

I actually wish this were true, because it would be hilarious…

@homofascist: But, but….this page backs it up as legit, and it sure doesn’t look like some ha ha thrown together effort for April Fool’s. I think it’s really for reals, thanks be to jeebus.

Add: Okay, I take that back. There’s no. way. this is a legit proposal. Here’s the crazy, fugly, tripped out “collage” to accompany the frog statue: http://alexandriava.gov/uploadedFiles/recreation/arts/Cheryl%20Foster%20Board.pdf

@homofascist: From the original Alexandria News story, published March 30:

The four proposals include: a three dimensional interpretation of Sweetbay Magnolia or Magnolia Virginiana; a functional, artistic bench that incorporates various geometric shapes such as a sphere, a cylinder and a cone; a 32-foot long glass wall, divided into nine panels; and a 10-foot high fairy using an American toad as transportation, with sounds of nature emanating from the toad’s throat.

Editors Note: It is not yet April Fool’s Day.

@flippin eck: Hilarious. As Snorri Haraldsson might say ‘Þú fyndin daunillur fólk gerir buxurnar mínar bólgnað með stolti.’ To which I add hear here.

@nojo: Hamster murials are da bomb.

@nojo: @flippin eck: Okay, I will believe that it is a real PROPOSAL for a possible statue for the site. Having run several art programs where you ask for submissions, you could hardly believe the amount of horrible crap you get in. Hopefully they will go with something that looks more like an opening ladyflower, or considering it is a military, some obscene phallus.

@homofascist: You were a week early on your visit to Ess Eff – with our mini-heatwave all the cute boyz are running around the Castro shirtless and/or in tanktops and Daisy Duke short shorts…when I was waiting for the bus I saw one of the neighborhood nudists out stark naked except for his sneakers and picnic basket.

The only good thing to come out of this frog thing you’ve got going is that I’m no longer getting RW ads but ones for The Turtle Shack and shit.

Why do bloggers say “We” and “Our”? Blogger royalty?

Oh, and that’s clearly a brain in its mouth. Must be a zombie toad.

Or maybe it’s Snorri’s frozen scrotum.

@Benedick honey badger doesn’t care.: Ég hef heyrt nóg um daunillur bólgu þinn buxur.

@JNOV: Why do bloggers say “We” and “Our”? Blogger royalty?

Kicks the voice into a different register. More fun that way.

@nojo: Kicks the voice into a past century, maybe.

@SanFranLefty: Daisy Duke short shorts

I thought the style this year was long shorts. At least that’s what the Porkpie Hipster Assholes are wearing around here.

@JNOV: Kicks the voice into a past century, maybe.

Yes. Yes it does. And, in turn, I’ve always loved 19th century headline styles, with periods. I don’t use them much here, because that’s just a tad too affected.

@nojo: Porkpie hipster assholes are not trying to get buttsecked. Well, at least not openly or sober, anyhow…

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: To be honest, I’ve never come to terms with Bermudas. The Eighties and I agreed to disagree.

@nojo: Hence your obsession with ALW. He brought all the charm of 1920’s dentistry to the disco sensibility of ABBA.

@JNOV: Perhaps you have heard enough about my inflammatory smelly pants but I assure you that is an aspect of my age. Which is not to say that said aging bags cannot provide hours of fun but as my people say ‘assless chaps in san diego make asian men suck cock’.

@Benedick honey badger doesn’t care.: With just a dash of the joyful playfulness of a Theodore Driser novel thrown in for good measure.

@nojo: What Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One said. Note that I said “cute boyz running around the Castro,” and not “insufferable hipsters riding brake-less bikes in the Mission.”

I’m curious if the hipsters were able to peel the tight “girlfriend jeans” off to put on shorts — I think the Bermuda shorts/porkpie hat trend is now with the frat boys — the hipsters aren’t wearing the porkpie hats as much. And they have to starve themselves to fit into those skinny jeans, so I don’t think they should be showing off their legs. Maybe it’s the weather until recently, but the Hipster Look of the Season has been ugly woolen caps with black skintight jeans, ironic t-shirt, and hoodie/fugly handwoven sweater.

@Benedick honey badger doesn’t care.:

Cute boyz = young ghey men who care about their appearance and physique

Hipsters = str8/bi trustafarians who starve themselves and have hairdos that look like they just woke up but really the ‘d0 took 50 minutes to arrange

Frat boys = asshole date rapists

Is that what you don’t understand, or the broader fashion descriptions?

I have become completely collapsed re news from Kabul.

@Benedick honey badger doesn’t care.: Well, this should really send you over the edge. “Asshat” doesn’t even begin to cover it. I think we’re in anal pear territory.

@Benedick honey badger doesn’t care.: @Mistress Cynica: Florida dude’s an asshole, but he didn’t commit the murders. Nor did he incite them. Much as I’d love to pile on, the crime and the responsibility remain in Afghanistan.

@nojo: Okay. But if you start going all “amongst/betwixt/whilst,” we’re gonna stage an intervention.

Have you thought about picking up where Randall left off and making a short about your love of amphibian lovemaking?

Wow. The Koran thing. Okay. You’ve got a lot of pissed off people on both sides itching for a fucking fight/fame/release.

One dude stages a trial — I’d love to see him take other works of fiction (oh like the Bible, maybe) to task, but maybe not, because he’s a fucking dumbass.

One dude, well, we put him in power, propped him up, and apparently he hasn’t stolen enough money from his people yet. He publicly denounces the burning cuz he needs to stay on the good side of the Taliban so he can rob that country blind and then flee and let the Taliban do whatever the fuck it wants after he’s gone, because he is an asshole.

Then we’re got legitimately angry fucking people with little money, security or support. Perfect fucking storm for people to be assholes. It feels good to break stuff when you’re frustrated, scared and scarred.

Doesn’t make it right. Doesn’t make it good. It’s a fucking tinderbox, and there are a shitton of people lighting matches.

You know who says ‘we’? The queen. I’m just saying.

@Mistress Cynica: Thank you. I am now typing from under my desk as I’m afraid to come out.

@Benedick is not as stupid as he looks.: Nojo is the queen of this blog, and Silent Creative Partner is the princess.

@JNOV: I feel we should be hiding behind the cricket pavilion smoking cheap ciggies (aka ‘snout’) to be having this conversation.

@Benedick is not as stupid as he looks.: Hey — is this here gravatar Lizzie or Maggie? Wait. Annie, maybe? Damn, yeah, it’s Princess Anne. Once sec…

@JNOV: Holy crap, this is strange (for the international audience): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpPxW7r0S_U

@Benedick is not as stupid as he looks.: I saw Tool at the Cricket Pavilion in PHX in 2006 at the beginning of the 10,000 Days tour. Someone tossed a water bottle at the singer’s head and he left the stage for a bit, leaving the band to carry on like a finely tuned machine.

Tool, “Jambi”
Shine on forever, benevolent son. Shine on upon the broken until the two become one.

Son of RML and I was were discussing whether the last part of this song is about Jesus, the “two” being the human and the devine.

@redmanlaw: Can’t stream. Watched too much NOVA, and the maintenance cum internet dude in my building is pissed at me.

Goddamn! There are (at least) 11 scripts running now?

@JNOV: I think that’s the queen. The English one not the Sandy Eggo one.

@redmanlaw: That is why all pop songs and musical theatre should be performed in German. It should be a law.

@Benedick is not as stupid as he looks.: Now it’s The Not Sandy Eggo Queen. Briefly, I was this, but you must’ve been doing Real World Stuff while it was up.

Speaking of Real World Stuff, I just came back from the store — it’s nice to be able to walk to one now. Annnnyyyyywaaaay, I was faced with a difficult choice: toilet paper or cigarettes. Which do you think I chose?

ADD: I’ve offered to share HRH of SE’s bed, platonically of course, and HRH didn’t bite. How’s your luck been? I think She’s only interested in slimy things that lick their eyes.

@JNOV: But if you start going all “amongst/betwixt/whilst”

I archly use Whilst all the time, and Amongst frequently enough. Much like Silent Creative Partner has a knack for faux-Fifties graphic design.

On the other hand, Betwixt sounds like candy.

@RML: Okay. I allowed myself 26 seconds of that, like until the vocals started. Would you like to touch my monkey?

@JNOV is like, Whoa: That’s Princess Margaret, HRH’s sister who is no longer with us having gone to that great gin shop coronation in the sky.

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