Attack of the Secular Islamists

“I have two grandchildren — Maggie is 11, Robert is 9,” Gingrich said at Cornerstone Church here. “I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time they’re my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American.”

-Newt Gingrich, Speaking to Churchgoers in San Antonio, Texas

In that same speech, Gingrich listed numerous other oxymorons he fears, including: six-sided pentagons, four-footed bipeds, two-wheeled tricycles and dehydrated water.

Rhetorical Question: is it possible to make statements that are dumber even than Sarah Palin’s ususal blather and still be regarded as one of the “leading intellectuals” of your party?

(Politico, Via The New Republic ,Via Andrew Sullivan)


Don’t you understand? These Mooslems are SO EVIL that they can unmake the ordinary rules of logic and simultaneously be atheists AND religious fundamentalists! Heck, according to birthers they’ve already used their diabolical Mooslem powers to go back in time and plant fake birth announcements… ;)

Logic, like physical fitness/fidelity/honesty/bravery/humility/integrity wasn’t one of Newty Toot’s strong points.

Wait–those are his grandchildren by which wife? If it’s from either of the first two, they’re technically not his grandkids considering he’s Catholic now. Edited per Mellbell’s clarification.

Uh oh. Drop shadows. This won’t end well.

@flippin eck: I would think they’d be covered by the same canon law (1137) that makes me legitimate in the eyes of the Church even though my parents’ marriage was annulled.

@Snorri Haraldsson: Melt down from Tommy Dearest in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

@mellbell: Fair enough. I still think it’s quite fun to point out that we don’t know which of his three marriages produced the grandkids who may not someday comprehend “what it means to be American.”

@mellbell: Here’s an ignorant question. How can a marriage be annulled after children have been born?

@Snorri Haraldsson: We’re actually running an ongoing 3-D test. Special Stinque Spex are available for rental in the lobby.

@Dodgerblue: No idea. It simply occurred to me a few years ago that the Church might consider my siblings and me illegitimate because of said annulment, and a quick Google search settled the matter.

@Dodgerblue: Through the magic of Catholicism! One of the grounds for annulment (used by my ex 25 years after our divorce) can be summarized as “I was young and foolish; I didn’t know what I was doing. I did not appreciate the serious consequences”–a/k/a “I fucked up. Can I get a do-over?”

@nojo: Let’s not try to pretend that drop shadow is some kind of 3-D. Not that I have any great objection to drop shadow. It says ‘creative/artistic’ like nobody’s business. It also says ‘cool/sassy’. Particularly when yoked to the inimitable Comic Sans.

@Benedick honey badger doesn’t care.: Then, of course, you can exercise the nuclear option of declaring yourself supreme head of the church and doing whatever the hell you want. It’s good to be king.

Oh, and in response to today’s Rhetorical Question, Logic is for losers.

It’s like you guys are TRYING to make my eyes bleed. Geeez.

A tight, well-defined drop shadow is fine as long as it is helping, not impeding, the read. But do I get listened to? I do not.

@nojo: You’ve inspired me to ponder the term Stinquevision, which, for reasons I cannot elucidate even to myself, fills me with a dark and cthulhoid horror.

@IanJ: And you make me regret that I’ve somehow lost my Polyester “Odorama” card over the years.


We haven’t seen Catt lose his shit for a long time. Those shiva crystals must have one helluva half-life.

@SanFranLefty: He sent one to me, but I’m not getting involved. Too much drama.

@JNOV: I’m on to the White Widow, thank you very much. Not quite as pricy.

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Damn, Catt. Seriously. We have a date on the teacups at Disney.

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Or to keep with Nojo’s amphibian theme (ugh), we could take Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.

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