Please, God, Don’t Turn the Camera Around

“Anybody who’s been halfway around the block is aware of In-N-Out’s secret menu,” we are told, forcing us to admit that after a dozen years in California, we’ve only traveled a quarter or a third. In our defense, we have visited an In-N-Out once in somewhat recent memory, which is more than we can recall visiting any other fast-food joint. It’s been a long time since we regularly skipped high-school lunch for McDonald’s.

To join the Cult of The Secret Menu, apparently you just knowingly order a standard item not found on the printed version. Pictured here is what appears to be a “4×2” — four patties, two slices of (optionally unmelted) cheese — the sight of which is sufficient for us to maintain a healthy distance from In-N-Out for another dozen years.

The Ultimate In-N-Out Secret Menu (and Super Secret Menu!) Survival Guide [A Hamburger Today, via Kottke]

In’N Out is the one place I have to eat when I visit SoCal. Unfortunately, I can no longer feast on a double double as I’m now lactose intolerant.

A 4X2? That’s just overkill.

@ManchuCandidate: You ain’t seen overkill until you’ve had a Primanti Bros. And no, asking them to hold either the coleslaw or the french fries is not an option.

They also have a “Pittsburgher” cheese steak that is, I daresay, better than the ones in that other hamlet in Pennsyltucky.

@ManchuCandidate: meh, compared to Animal Style ANYTHING, 4X2 is nothing.

(if I were still in college I’d be eating 4x4s Animal Style easy. Nowadays, even on my rare visits back to SoCal I don’t approach that.)

Sweet Zombie Jeebus! That’s the truest expression of a combo ever unless they bake the drink right into the bun.

@Signal to Noise:
I forgot to try that when I was there last year. 4X4? Does that come with a free colonoscopy?

@ManchuCandidate: Even I wouldn’t eat those burgers, and I once ate a Baconator on a dare.

People have been honking for over a year about the In n Out coming to Garland, Tx. Honest to god this is news on the local media outlets.
But where is it? Thank you for posting the pic of that burger. The unmelted cheese suggests to me the burger is cold. Turned off, you and me both!

I would like to know if In N out gets their meat patties from one of the same two meat distributors in the US that runs them through the ammonia gas to kill the bacteria placed there by improper handling.
I haven’t had a good cheeseburger in a long long(years) time. It’s because the patties are adulterated. I am pretty pissed off about it too.


I’m told the PTG for burgers in NYC is The Spotted Pig. 5 stars in the Guide Michelin. The chef is English. And a girl. You have a problem with that?

@texrednface: In-n-Out grinds the meat at the stores. That’s why they taste so fresh, thus the reason behind the hype, and it takes 20 minutes to get your order. I prefer a single mustard-grilled. I eat there about once every three years, though I’m going to drive by a couple of them on my road trip north today.


If you ever find yourself in Ohio, stop by my buddy Andreas’s place:

Locally raised beef for the burgers, ground and blended with onion/pepper custom for The Head. Really awesome once he got them to tone down the onions a bit – the first tests were practically meatball-burgers. :)

And besides, how can you go wrong with burgers named after black metal bands?

@texrednface: well, if you ask for your cheese cold the big slices are gonna look kinda floppy. it’s probably semi-melted in the middle because of the burger. And SFL is correct — they grind their meat fresh, making it worth the niggling Bible quotes on the cups.

@ManchuCandidate: probably should. Even as a sane adult I still get both the burger and fries Animal Style. In my defense, the fries there have always been shitty without it. If you want both good fast food burger & fries, you have to find a Fatburger.

@al2o3cr: I’ve been eating at the Tip Top Club on my Columbus visits.

@al2o3cr: Trip to Ohio might be on the on the horizon.

@Signal to Noise: I am always looking for a great burger. I search and feel disappointed. Is the In-n-out worth the risk. Believe it or not, Whataburger used to make a great burger…back in the sixties. Toasted bun with a slight sheen of burger grease on top, juicy patty with that crispy edge and fresh lettuce that didn’t come out of a plastic bag from some distribution center hundreds of miles away. And there was a burger place at the split of the Andrews highway in Midland called “King Burger” that had great shakes or real malts or if you just had to a Red Rover a tart and sweet cherry limeade soda with sugar…not corn syrup. Even the grill in the Woolworth’s had a great burger. Yes, even the Dairy Queen. It is all so much dreck now a days.
Maybe my taste buds aren’t as resilient as they once were. Maybe the burger of yester year would taste the same today to me.
Maybe the burger of of my youth never existed.

@al2o3cr: I HAVE to go there some time.

I saw Dimmu Borgir play one time at an outdoor festival. They’re so evil they made the sun go down.

@texrednface: In terms of expat Texan food cravings, I miss What-a-burger, along with Taco Cabana. And occasionally I start jonesing for a DQ blizzard.

@texrednface: I would say In-N-Out’s burger is worth the risk, but I am a native Californian and miss the taste. The bun is usually just on the right side of toasty, the burger and cheese melted in the right way, and the lettuce and tomato taste crisp and fresh to me. (I recommend asking for the onions grilled and the meat mustard-grilled.)

Since I am in Oregon now, I make do with Burgerville, which is tasty but not a patch on In-N-Out.


There is no burger on a roll in the world better than a rib eye cheese steak.

Let’s see you go to a restaurant and pick the burger over the rib eye.

See how silly that sounds. Cheese steak with Rib eye over burger every day any day.

Stop it. Pittsburgh food is horrible. Including their beer.

Nothing beats home made. I like my burgers grilled outdoors or on the iron skillet. Bacon and swiss cheese. Toasted sesame seed bun with nothing but Heinz 57. Very crispy crinkle cut fries with paprika and 2 dill pickles on the side. Top that, killer. Like Jerry Lee Lewis once said to Chuck Berry.

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