Orange Bowl Open Thread

Sissies.

Canada City 2-0 over US America after 1st period in sport you folks don’t care about.

I GOTS NO ESPN!

The band wuz robbed!

I took Virginia Tech on a 7 team 7 point teaser and hedged with a straight bet on the Tree. So I’d appreciate it if everyone would cheer for Stanford to win by at least 4 points but no more than 10. Thank you for your cooperation.

ESPN3.com!

BUMMER!

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: What do we get out of this?

It’s now 3-0 Canada City in unimportant sport late in 2nd.

Will Coach Harbaugh announce his new job to his team at halftime like Coach John L Smith did to his University of Louisville team during the GMAC Bowl a few years ago? Like most ex-U of L football coaches he didn’t last long at his next destination, which was Michigan State.

Checking on this I discovered Smith is now coaching at Arkansas under another ex-U of L coach, the infamous Bobby Petrino.

@Dodgerblue: Well, Virginia Tech was the site of a terrible mass shooting a few years back and so perhaps the Orange Bowl folks were afraid the band would actually cross that line, but the local fishwrap is quoting MSNBC to say that officials didn’t want to hurt the feelings of LaBron James.

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: I have no idea what you are doing. Thank you for the translation.

Tree scores on a 60 yard run!!!

Woot! I thought running the ball on that play was going to be a mistake…

Assholes, they think people go to their games to watch their pathetic fucking team?

The people wanna hear WHITE PUNKS ON DOPE hammered with wanton abandon, that’s what the fuck they want.

I hope you Tree alums are on the phone tomorrow back to the school asking why this shithouse school’s only claim to fame, besides JNOV and Lefty, is being slapped around with such pathological contempt.

SACKED, MUTHAFUCKAH!

@FlyingChainSaw: Fucking right! Release The BAND!

Fucking idiot punt returner for Tree — when you’re on the 2 yard line and three guys are running at you, take the knee and go to the 20. Don’t try to be cute and run. Dumb fuck!

FUCK! Safety? But deflected and recaught by a Tree player.

All because that stupid punt returner thought he’d try to show off on national teevee.

A safety? C’mon!

@SanFranLefty:
I thought Stanford was supposed to have the smarter players.

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: Harbaugh should bench that dumb shit the rest of the game.

@JNOV: UNLEASH the BAND!

@FlyingChainSaw: Don’t forget Chicago Bureau. Or the chick with the wedding wish list who plays a golden flute.

Fuck! How did the Hokie QB get that throw off? VTech TD.

VT 9:Tree 7

@FlyingChainSaw: RIGHT! Did they televise the pregame performance?

Yes, Chicago Bureau and Spatula Douchette and Brazil.

What the fuck is a Hokie? (It’s nice to ask that question for a change.)

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: @SanFranLefty: +1

@SanFranLefty: That’s right. Three claims to fame. Drue the waffle-hater I am sure they are still trying to live down.

Deflected extra point? Imma cry.

@JNOV: Nice. We’re in the sweet spot +4.

4-1 Canada City over US America with less than 5 minutes remaining in unimportant sport.

@JNOV: It didn’t look deflected – it was kicked too low. I think the hold was off.

But how about that Luck threading the needle on that throw?

@FlyingChainSaw: Don’t forget about Brazil.

@SanFranLefty: Was Luck holding it? Yes, I don’t want to see a running game. They’re faster than we are. Throw, Luck! Throw!

@SanFranLefty: Then there was that guy who took a LR article, erased the author’s name, and submitted it under his own. Yeah, people read Australian law reviews, dumbass!

@SanFranLefty: @FlyingChainSaw:
Nice drive. Speaking of the coach and Stanford alums … a little trivia quiz:

The Chicago Bears have had 27 starting quarterbacks in the 24 years since winning the Superbowl in 1986 with Jim McMahon pitching. Where does Harbaugh fit in that sequence (McMahon is number 1).

For extra credit, name the Stanford quarterbacks who started for the Bears in that period.

Okay, maybe we need to run it more.

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: What. A QB went pro besides Plunkett and Elway?

False start on The Tree? Costing them the possession? WTF are the refs smoking?

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: Ditto to what JNOV said.

@SanFranLefty: Late flags, holding? I dunno…

@SanFranLefty: So Stanford players are dumb and cheaters. What happened to this school?

Yes – trivia answers before the end of halftime. Just in case they relent and let the band play.

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: Oh, and then he went to Europe and stole someone’s computer code or some shit like that.

Wow. The Band got spiked for this tripe? Just… wow.

Anyways: lots of missed opportunities for Tree. Chicago alums slightly uneasy. And now queasy in light of Goo Goo Dolls usurpation of halftime.

Who is the girl singing in the leather jacket? I thought this was sposta be a football game.

@Dodgerblue: The Goo Goo Dolls supplanted The Dollies.

@chicago bureau: That was the lamest fucking halftime show ever. I thought the Goo Goo Dolls were supposed to be a good band…15 years ago?

@JNOV: @SanFranLefty:

From my source for the Bear’s QB legacy of failure:

#12 –Steve Stenstrom, Stanford: Stenstrom was one of several intriguing quarterbacks selected in the fourth round of the 1995 draft. Kansas City drafted him, then tried to quickly release him to re-sign him to a lower salary that year. The Bears jumped at the chance to steal the guy praised by Bill Walsh as a budget Joe Montana. Stenstrom was putrid in his 1998 starts, relieving an again-injured Kramer. Walsh then signed him in San Francisco and got to see how bad he was closeup. Signed: 1995 Started In: 1998 Released: 1999

#22 – Chad Hutchinson, Stanford: Claimed off a surfboard following Rex Grossman’s knee injury that ended his 2004 season. Defeated the Minnesota Vikings in his first start, looking like the answer to the Bears’ quarterback problems of the past. Played very average in four straight losses to end the 2004 season. Looked to start in 2005 after Grossman’s last injury, but was atrocious in the preseason. Cut. Signed: 2004 Started in: 2004 Released: 2005

TD! Nevertheless – I hope the Bears don’t draft Luck.

EDIT – Oh wait…
EDIT 2 – Ok. Now.

Whatever Harbaugh said to Luck and the tight ends during halftime seems to be working.

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

You know, if this comes down to missedPATs, I might have to strangle somebody.

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: “I hope the Bears don’t draft Luck.”

A fucking Men.

Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I think Luck will stick around The Farm another year to finish up his M.S., finesse his game, and take another stab at the Heisman. I agreed with the ESPN announcer saying that even if he waits another year he’d still be a first round pick.

I could also see him pulling a Bill Bradley and going for a Rhodes Scholarship if he really wanted to cream the pants of the Farm. Boy has a brain, H.S. valedictorian, ridiculously high GPA in architectural engineering, why should he destroy that mind and his body with concussions in the NFL? Have you seen the way he slides and dashes out of bounds? He does NOT want to be hit. His daddy played for the NFL, so he’s seen the downside.

@chicago bureau: I’ll start with that fucking punt returner. Srsly.

Tree sacks the Hokie QB!

@JNOV: Did you figure out what a Hokie is? I think it’s a type of chicken or rooster?

INTERCEPTION by the Tree on the 2!

@SanFranLefty: No idea. I know what an Okie is, but that doesn’t help, huh? I’m on it and will return and report.

I think Luck is gonna fly. :-(

Holy crap, great run by that little guy.

Followed by the easiest TD pass Luck has ever thrown.

Insofar as I am concerned, @SFL, the Hokie is MAYHEM. And Stanford offense is good hands. 2 plays, 97 yards, thanks for coming. And the PAT (!!) makes it STAN 26:12 VT.

@SanFranLefty: This is some dumb shit here:

What is a Hokie? The origin of the word “Hokie” has nothing to do with a turkey. It was coined by O. M. Stull (class of 1896), who used it in a spirit yell he wrote for a competition.

Here’s how that competition came to be held. Virginia Tech was founded in 1872 as a land-grant institution and was named Virginia Agricultural and Mechanical College. In 1896, the Virginia General Assembly officially changed the college’s name to Virginia Agricultural and Mechanical College and Polytechnic Institute, a name so long that citizens shortened it in popular usage to VPI. The original college cheer, which made reference to the original name of the institution, was no longer suitable. Thus, a contest was held to select a new spirit yell, and Stull won the $5 top prize for his cheer, now known as Old Hokie:

Hoki, Hoki, Hoki, Hy.
Techs, Techs, V.P.I.
Sola-Rex, Sola-Rah.
Polytechs – Vir-gin-ia.
Rae, Ri, V.P.I.

Later, the phrase “Team! Team! Team!” was added at the end, and an “e” was added to “Hoki.”

@JNOV: Apparently it’s gibberish?

@JNOV: Jinx!

@SanFranLefty:

why should he destroy that mind and his body with concussions in the NFL?

A $12m signing bonus?

Just guessing.

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: I think you’re screwed.

@mellbell: My grrrl!

What ever happened to Willingham after he deserted us for Notre Dame and got FIRED!?

Whoa. The Tree is especially odd this year.

ADD: But it’s a nice change from all those hoop-skirt trees.

ADDD: Looks like Beaker.

@JNOV:
Prbly. The hedge covers the original bet – so worst case even.

Amazing second effort!

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: Bummer. I was hoping you’d buy me some shoooz.

And we weren’t in the Rose Bowl why?

Well shit, if VT is gonna just let the Farm receivers run right past them, Luck can throw TDs on every possession.

Oh hayell to the yes on that TD! 21 point margin. Sorry Barrington Chadsworth IV. I don’t think it’ll be in the 4-10 point range. /knocks wood.

@JNOV: Do NOT get me started on my Rose Bowl rant. I’m just glad TCU won and justified shoving The Tree out of their rightful place as the Pac-10 team.

@Dodgerblue: They have to lay off the Farm receivers so that they can fail to tackle the Farm runners.

Why are they going to start showing the crying seniors?

So, what round is Tyrod gonna go in?

@SanFranLefty:

Forget the Rose Bowl. They should have been playing for the championship.

How dumb is the Hokie defensive coordinator? An 8-man line against a smart QB who can throw, in the 4th qtr when you’re way behind? Sheesh..

Good Lord. I thought we’d win. But not like this. Powerful, powerful stuff from Tree.

@JNOV: We are not impressed.

@Dodgerblue: That’s a shame. He’s playing his heart out. He should at least go third round.

Instead of banning the band, they need to ban fucking Condi.

Condi Rice on the sidelines.

@Dodgerblue: Jinxola!

Envy
Stanford
Powerful
Nerds

Sad.

Coked up dude in the orange jacket. Whoa.

GODDAMN CONDI IS ON THE STAGE?

@JNOV: Mr. SFL and I are calling him “Towel-Rod” – Luck and my new boyfriend #11 (channeling Brian Wilson of the Giants with the mohawk and face paint) were very nice to Tyrod.

@JNOV: Forget coked up dude, what about the bad comb-over toupee on the dude from Discover??

LOVE the fuck-you from Harbaugh there. Love it.

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: Mr. SFL (a Duck) is afraid that The Tree has sucked up all of the Pac-10 good karma now. He’s superstitious that way. If only there were hidden cameras in our house for the Stanford-Oregon game. Thaaat was a trip. Thank FSM for ganja.

@JNOV: Where’s her “friend” with the Xmas sweater?

@SanFranLefty: I missed the Discover guy (gotta keep switching windows). Bummer.

@chicago bureau: YES!

@SanFranLefty: He needs to wish they’d get new uniforms.

Hahahahaha! Maybe Pam stole her, too…

Tried to show that Garbage 2.0 was relevant to the proceedings.

Fucking youth d/n appreciate Glam or trip hop.

@redmanlaw: You gotta start ’em young. Like when they’re two or three. My big mistake was not getting mine hooked on The Who during his formative years. Maybe that would have stopped the Hanson/NSYNC/BSB/Orange Crush thing he went through. I thought he was lost forever. When he got into the Pillows, I had no idea what to do.

I’ve sung Beatles songs to him since he was an infant, so at least he has some appreciation for them. Not as much as I like, but I’ll take what I can get.

In other news:

R.I.P. Honey West and Altaira from the Forbidden Planet:

Altaira: [swiming in a pool] Come on in.
Commander John J. Adams: I didn’t bring my bathing suit.
Altaira: What’s a bathing suit?

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: Oh, wow! Her character had an ocelot? I’d watch for that reason alone. Plus prominent beauty marks are lovely. Too bad my mom damn near rubbed mine off thinking it was a piece of bacon.

Oh, WTF? William Daley back in the White House? Might as well keep Summers, too. Wall Street White House indeed.

This game was teh awesome. But Still. My favorite Tree play of this season?

In the Cal game, when Luck scrambled past six defenders, straight-armed the safety with a forearm to the face, paused for at least three beats, looked at the dude he’d knocked to the ground, appeared to say “What the fuck, asshole?” and then proceeded to run for another 15 yards.

@SanFranLefty:
Here’s Droo’s start-up: http://www.passportstyle.com/home

A parody of 1995 Internet affinity marketing websites. You can sign up to be a Brand Ambassador for hilariously ugly clothes and jewelry designed by retarded friends of Droo who can’t get real jobs.

And for that you get points which you can trade for S&H Green Stamps or something.

Gov. Has Did gets a teleprompter for her inauguration.

And I was wrong. Those were F-16s scaring the shit outta me this morning. That’s a damn fine use of government money during a budget crisis. Damn fine.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: WTF? Why are they in the “Dead Soldier” formation?

@JNOV: Dunno. Maybe they figured they could get away with it because none of the chicken hawks at the Capitol would notice.