Verdict: Hollywood E-leets Hate Trig
The votes have been cast, the results are in, and your television just lost its last reason for existing. If there were a plug on your TV similar to the plug in your bathtub that could be pulled to drain out all the glamour and gooodness in life, then that plug would have been unceremoniously pulled last night when teen pregnancy advocate Bristol Plain was finally voted off the most important talent show in America: Dancing With The Stars. Despite being the best bad dancer in the nation who gets better with every show (but is still, on the whole, bad) a nefarious cabal of un-elected judges pushed Bristol aside and instead took it upon themselves to hand the prize over to Jennifer Grey, a Hollywood insider whose only redeeming virtue is that she’s a talented dancer. The star-chamber judges clearly did this because they hate Bristol’s mother Sarah, for not aborting her son Trig when she had the chance. Readers will recall that Palin instead rushed back to Alaska on a 3 hour flight from Texas as soon as her water broke and there was a danger that the child might suffer the indignity of being born in the “lower 48” –thus making him an “untouchable” according to Alaskan Separatist Party lore. At any rate, if you’re still with me this far: Gawker has video evidence of Bristol losing (which I can’t see at work because it’s blocked, but which I’m sure is awesome heartrending).