America’s Next First Family

“Hehe ya grabbin your ass huh? I just puked! Eww and I thought you exiting this conversation. And good idea Jon! You’ll be as successful as my baby daddy. And actually, I do work my ass off. I’ve been a single mom for the last two years…”

Bristol Palin, arguing on Facebook with critics of her mother’s new reality TV show and referring to Levi Johnston, without any apparent irony, as her “baby daddy.”


I’m more disgusted (though totally not surprised) by Willow Palin calling everyone who criticizes her mother and her sister “faggot” and “gay.”

What’s the over/under on her being knocked up within a year?

What hard work taketh away. In’N Out Double Doubles giveth back.

And to round out our Palinpalooza Roundup, there’s the dude who shot his television because Bristol’s a bad dancer, and Jezebel concern trolling the DWTS teabagger ballot-stuffing.

Me, I’m still bored. Might need to revive Spike tomorrow.

@SanFranLefty: I’m actually divided about that one.

There’s a legitimate argument that Willow is only 16, and we should cut her some slack.

There’s an equally legitimate argument that the moment you’re featured in a TV series, you’re fair game.

Me, I’m going to file it under Talibunny Whores Out Her Kids. You can’t put them on a pedestal and expect everybody to genuflect.

I think the Palins need to ante up – who else thinks that Todd would be a great star for the inaugural season of “Ow, My Balls!”? :)

@nojo: Shooting the TV is one thing. Pointing the shotgun at his wife is a whole ‘nother ball game. Drugs or alcohol involved, perhaps?

@redmanlaw: “Cowan had also been under stress because of a financial situation and was receiving care for a mental health problem, the complaint states.”

Just happened to be Bristol who set him off. Could have just as easily been Leno.

There’s a lot more of Bristols to love than there was a few weeks ago.

BTW. Childish Limey joke. ‘Bristols is rhyming slang for ‘tits’. or, more properly, ‘titty’. From, Bristol City. Which gives us: She’s big in the bristols.

A favorite expression is to be Brahmsed. As in Brahms and Liszt = pissed (drunk). I’m doing my best.

A single mom with endorsement deals, acting gigs, various other tv appearances, and mommy’s money. Boo hoo hoo.

@SanFranLefty: @nojo: I personally wouldn’t cut any teenager slack when it comes to language like that. In fact, starting in middle school I would call out friends who said “That’s so gay,” and that was years ago, so she really has no excuse.

@mellbell: We drew the fucking line on the shit with Son of RML, as well as use of bitches and hos in relation to women. He’s been smacking down jr high right wingers in school yard debates, btw. He goes to school with at least a few kids who think GWB was the greatest president ever.

@redmanlaw: Yuck, really? Hopefully they’ll grow out of it.

@mellbell: True on the merits, but here’s the thing: If we didn’t know who Willow was, we wouldn’t give this any notice.

But we — and by “we”, I mean TMZ — do know who Willow is, thanks to Mom whoring her out to Mark Burnett. She’s now on the radar, just like Bristol, but not yet like, say, Piper.

For this, I blame Mom. And I’m still conflicted about it. Heck, I was conflicted about Bristol before she became impossible to ignore.

@nojo: So we should give her special treatment?

@mellbell: We are giving her special treatment.

Which, as a newly minted Public Figure, she well may merit. But so far, nobody’s scraping Facebook for other examples of rude 16-year-olds.

Just like I will always believe darth cheney was involved in the 911 attacks, I will always believe that baby Trigg is Willows son. Here’s why. The republican’ts are (no surprise here) the alleged family values party. If Sarah had actually been pregnant with Trigg, we would have been inundated with pictures of the alleged family values governor from Alaska governing while allegedly pregnant. You know superwoman and all. Also, what kinda man criticizes a pregnant woman? Especially a man who supports gay marriage and hugs trees. See what I’m sayin? The republican’ts and future tea baggers would have milked that pregnancy for all it could have been worth. But unfortunately there are no pictures because Sarah never was pregnant. Also, Sarah had to cover up the fact that whoever banged up Willow was guilty (assuming the necessary age difference) of statutory rape. How would that play on the campaign trail? Of course this conspiracy theory opens up all kinds of kinky scenarios involving Levi, Bristol, Willow, Sarah, and even Todd (it is Alaska and they are Palins after all). So feel free to let your minds wander if you can handle it.

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