Tonight’s Odds

  • Convenience-store car-crash video: 1:2
  • Declares himself a shame to his profession, demands own resignation: 100:1
  • Launches leveraged buyout of MSNBC: 30:1

  • Bernie Sanders announces Congressional investigation into indefinite suspension of Worst Persons: 15:1
  • Arianna delivers two minutes of mindless talking points while we take a potty break: 1:10
  • Proclaims “People’s Republic of Keith”; Twitter crashes under deluge of enlistments: 50:1
  • Murrow, Huntley and Brinkley find themselves in an awkward three-way while rolling over in their graves: 3:1
  • Spittle: 1:100
  • “That’s Countdown for Tuesday, November 9th, five days after I ascended to godhood”: 70:1
  • “I was wrong, and I apologize”: 1,000,000:1
A Statement to the Viewers of Countdown [Keith Olbermann/Scribd]

The show will go like this:

Segment I: What will you be talkingt about tomorrw?
Will you be talking about Keith Olberman’s on-air apology to Phil Griffin? Phil, you want an on-air apology? FUCK YOU. How’s that for an on air apology?

Segment II: A kangaroo juggling coconuts.

Segment III: Keith’s Special comment.
And now, my special comment: Fuck YOU Phil Griffin. Have you NO SENSE OF DECENCY, SIR!?

Segment IV: Worst Person In The World
Today’s Worst Person In The Galaxy: Phil Fucking Griffin.

@Serolf Divad:

Maybe he can borrow Jon Stewart’s choir. :)

I must admit, Olbermann is starting to irritate me now too.

“You should know that I mistakenly violated an inconsistently applied rule – which I previously knew nothing about ”

I’d love to know how you can claim these two things simultaneously.

@karen marie wants to know — Fucking integrity, how does it work?: That’s part of my beef, as well. His non-apology comes across as a gratuitous pat on the head to his net-toadies, befuddling them with his everything-from-the-OED phrasing and leaving them breathless in anticipation of tonight’s baritone.

If he had submitted something like that while he was at Cornell A&M (not the main campus, we’re reminded), well, he would have ended up broadcasting sports rather than ne…oh, wait a minute.

ADD: As great as Jon Stewart’s Monday night lead-in was, how about Lefty’s Governor Goodhair? My god, he’s like Shrub, with extra venal.

another option.
he will announce they are taking Becks advise and changing “lean forward” to “bend over”

at least he had the good grace to not return on my birthday. which was yesterday.

@Nabisco: Lite Governor, not Governor. He’s like Shrub, but better looking and with slicker hair. He even talks like Shrub sometimes – why a native San Franciscan suddenly gets a drawl and drops his Gs, I don’t know, but he’ll do it sometimes in interviews. It’s bizarre.

@Capt Howdy: Dude! Fuck yeah! Dude!

@SanFranLefty: I saw Terry McAwful speak at a meeting of the Association of State Democratic Charis. He said to see his staff if we had any questions about what he was doing as then DNC chairman. I asked said staffers why the fuck he went up to the podium and insulted us by talking like a goddam hick. I can still hear him saying “It’s muh job” like he was Droopy the Dog or some old sheriff in a crappy Western. Poser.

Looks like the Virginia voters called bullshit on his hickspeak, too.

“At a town hall-style meeting last January, a voter criticized McAuliffe for dropping his g’s when he spoke so as to suggest a Southern accent. The candidate said, “I was born in Syracuse, New York. I’m proud of where I was born. But I am a Virginian.”

@mellbell: That Governor Good Hair sure as hell is NOT my Governor. I got out of Texas when Shrub beat Ann and haven’t looked back.

But Gavin does channel Shrub, to wit this interview after he dropped out of the Governor’s race and took off to Hawaii: “I’m working my tail off!”

If he was really contrite he would have asked me to punch him in the face.

Put me down for $2 on a trifecta – Arianna, Spittle and Godhead.

Also I’ll take a side bet on a longshot – Maddow sheds a tear (misting up counts) as she welcomes Keith back from his long exile, and completely ignores the discrepancy in her comments Friday with KO’s demand to exercise his right to pay for interviews contribute to candidates without oversight.

@libertarian tool:

Undermines everything Rachel said Friday night about journalistic integrity: 20:1

Had to bump that for the Spittle.

Hmmm…Noje takes on Keef + mysterious missle fired off coast near Stinque World Domination Headquarters = coincidence?? You be the judge.

@flippin eck: Er, um, sorry. Leftover nuke popcorn from Manchu’s visit. I was testing alternative cooking methods.

@Capt Howdy: It was about your birthday. My kid just found out about the Cthulu Mythos, however, and is looking forward to his At the Mountains of Madness Movie.

Hey, but good news on The Thing That Shall Remain Nameless.

I was going to try to forget it was happening and then I realized that FaceBook thing reminded everyone.

@Capt Howdy: Good for you! What a birthday treat. Can’t wait to hear the details when they can be divulged – as the actress said to the bishop. May you have many short dirty-blond assistants called Brad who are hot for white dogs.

BTW. This post thing here. It’s Sport, right? Men in glasses shouting. Sport.

BTW 2. You haven’t seen me. If the French show up I wasn’t here. I’ll just tiptoe away.

it was. have not been this buzzed about work in years.

@Benedick: It’s Sport, right?

Sport for me. I may have to nuke some unlaunched popcorn for tonight’s show.

@Capt Howdy: Are we Fucking Old yet, or just Old?

@Capt Howdy: You revealed the birthday in an earlier post today. I don;t beleive we are FB friends yet although we both probably have access to the Top Secret Spot.*

* also the name of a favorite fishing hole up in the Jemez Mountains NW of Albuquerque

feeling really stupid to have to admit I do not know to what you are referring with the asterisk

hey thanks
it sort of feels like groundhog day

@Capt Howdy: You feel old? I spend my life trying to keep alive the corpse of the 20th cent. Don’t tell the French. Srsly. As to the asterisk…

Noje. In the name of ALW and his gnomic army. I abjure you to bestow on Howdy, doughty captain of Gamers, the secret key to the garden of all things Stinque. And such as.

@Capt Howdy: He has an iPad and a basement. You know what I mean? It could be days before we get results. It’s hard to do Touch-Screen with callouses.


its a birthday thing. it will pass. as all such things do. I can still outrun, outdrink, outfuck, outtalk and outthink 99% of the twentysomethings I work with

I would be honored to enter the garden of stinque.

@Capt Howdy: Rooowwrrrrrr!

PS. It’s more weed-patch with benefits. I will be punished by the left-coast contingent but I don’t care. I have looked into the abyss and it is Camembert.

@Benedick: I have touched the Zombie Tattoo on my forearm. StinqueEaters, please Apparate in the Clubhouse.

@SanFranLefty: Mell was correct, I meant Perry. But you are correct as well; he sounds (and acts) a lot like Shrub, but with even less personal magnetism. I can tell he kicks dogs when he’s angry.

You left when he beat Ann? We missed each other by only a few years; I left shortly after he beat Hightower for Ag Commish.

@Capt Howdy: Top Secret Spot = Sandbox=Clubhouse. Please ask the attendant for a key.

T-minus 15 minutes…

Per a KeefTweet today, apparently supporters were changing their Twitter avatars to his.

Ours is still green. Last I checked, Iran is still ruled by a despot.

Hides under Jon Stewart’s skirt: Even

Jon Stewart pisses on him for the entire time he hides there: 5-3

How’s libertarian tool doing on the trifecta? I just got home and turned the teevee in to Keiff, tell me what I’ve missed.

@SanFranLefty: I am going to lose on Arianna. He went with Michael Moore instead. I should have known.

@libertarian tool: Oooh, just think if you had doubled down on that trifecta (or whatever the slang is) on a Moore appearance….you would have won big money – or at least enough to buy $1 hot dogs for everyone at Golden Gate Fields.

They don’t stream the show on the webz, so it’s off to work and a review of tape later.

The judges rule that UN Security Council reference qualifies for People’s Republic. Save your stubs!

The many many many humble references to the overwhelming hordes of supporters clearly indicates the ascension to godhood. Too bad I hooked that up with Arianna.

Any earthquakes in the next thirty minutes qualify as grave-rolling.

Watching the eeelleeetist News Hour deconstruction of Shrub’s new picture book, following Keef’s summary. Exactly how many times did Shrub say “read the book” in his interviews with Matt Lauer and Oprah? And was it just me or did Oprah make him visibly squirm?

@nojo: When did the HuffPo turn into the SludgeReport, but in technicolor?

I’m beginning to realize what Gibbs meant when he complained about the “professional left”. He meant that all the professionals had left the room, leaving only the celluloid heroes.

@Nabisco: The judges are in a good mood, so we’ll pay out the Arianna line.

Not sure how quickly MSNBC posts vid, but it should be up soon. Perhaps they’ll filter out the giant sucking sound.

@nojo: Well, I really should be getting some work done, but in fact just spent an enjoyable tolerable few minutes surfing HuffPo for the first time in awhile. Tucker impersonates Keef! Palin misrepresents the facts in a twitter battle with the WSJ! Miley Cyrus has a chest tatoo!*

*That’s the SludgeReport element for me, plus the 80 pt headline. I think I need some Sport to distract me….

@Nabisco: HuffPo has always had the celeb gossip — that’s what drives their traffic (and advertising), not the politics.

I’ll drop by if a link takes me there, but it’s never been to my taste.

Dan Patrick said on his syndicated radio show last week that someone was working on a new book about the Dan and Keith days at Sportscenter. I was not much of a fan of Sport when I married Mrs RML (who still knows much more than I do although I am, as you know, Mr Outdoors) but I absolutely loved Sportscenter with those two. I should dig up their book on the Big Show.

HuffPo is part of my daily news round up starting here, FB, local papers, state politics, national Indian news at and Indian Country Today, Navajo reservation news, gawker, a couple of gun blogs then TPM and HP. I’ll get around to Deadspin, international and defense news later in the day while working and listening to sportstalk on the radio.

Having a hot toddy now for my really nasty cold. Our receptionist sent me home after lunch.

@redmanlaw: In my excruciatingly thorough research over the weekend, I stumbled across Keef’s apology to ESPN for being a raging asshole.

Fun detail: Sorkin sez he based SportsNight on SportsCenter.

No, that’s not the fun part, this is: Keef sez both characters were based on him.

@nojo: I was going to point out last week that KO was a storied history of alienating employers.

@redmanlaw: @nojo: I too enjoyed the early days of ESPN with Dan and Keith, but even more when it was Keith and Suzie. I’ll have to look for the book.

I manage to keep up with most of the cultural touchstones of ‘murikan life over here through a combo of the webz, iTunes and some free streaming television, but haven’t yet found a way to keep up with Dan Patrick. The wife always grumbled when she’d come home and find me listening to Jim Rome.

Shorter Keef, since I don’t need it for the morning:

“I could have beat that kid to a pulp with my bat, but instead I used just my fists, and besides, the playground surveillance camera caught everything, so what’s the problem?”

Also, I formally release my hold on the Whore Punchline for general use.

@Nabisco: I used to love when Michelle Tafoya had a semi-regular radio gig.

DP streaming. Not sure if these will work Over There.

You can use that linque to find Rome streams also.

@nojo: Did you learn – and did Keef reprise – the bit about his whining sacroiliac? His spinal mutation? The fact that he has too much backbone?

Oh Keith – so much drama in such a relatively short career.

ADD: @redmanlaw: Thanks, I’ll check tonight. I always thought Rome was a fee-based stream only.

@Nabisco: It used to be but they gave it up. You should also check out Stephanie Miller on the streams. Funny, but she’s getting bitter over the wave of fuckheadedness sweeping the country.

@Nabisco: That was the very piece, yes.

I once knew a guy like him. Brilliant. Could also be a world-class asshole. Most days I could put up with the asshole for the brilliance. Some days, not so much.

@nojo: Keef’s piece is overall better in the moving picture version (all that quick cut editing and that baritone), but I still like your shorter version. He admits that the rule he originally (a) didn’t know about and (b) thought probably illegal was fair but probably needs to be dragged kicking and screaming into the “realities” of 21st century politics.

I think he means dragged back into the 19th century of Hearst, Ochs and Pulitzer. Wasn’t that the Golden Age of editors using their “news” channels to drive public opinion? Remember the Main, indeed.

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