Sarah Palin: Boldly Not Running for President Since July 3, 2009

So: Talibunny puts out a stroke job that would get her banned from Chatroulette and shunned by Christine O’Donnell, and the lamestream media responds like a litter of Cubby Grizzlies in a suckling frenzy.

We understand that Will She Or Won’t She has a practical consequence for her potential primary opponents: If you’re gaming a race, you can’t count her out until she definitively rules herself out. You also have to prepare for the possibility that she sucks all the money out of the room. If we were a political consultant, it would be dereliction of duty to arbitrarily remove her from the board.

But we are, instead, merely a Humble Citizen of These United States, and we think the chatter about her running is, and has long been, utter bullshit.

Sarah Palin is not running for President. She is building her fortune. And doing quite well at it.

What confuses people is that her fortune is based on her brand. Or, these days, brands — an enterprise that began a generation ago with Sarah Barracuda, incorporated more recently under SarahPAC, and has picked up Rogue and Mama Grizzly along the way.

Really, she’s the Walt Disney of politics: The Wonderful World of Sarah Palin, now rolling out in a reality series near you.

None of this would preclude her from running for President, of course, and most of it would probably help. But to run — and lose, as she inevitably would, not just against Obama, but in more than one primary — would damage the brand.

Really: What could she possibly say after losing a string of Southern states to Huckabee? “I am not a quitter”?

Of course, she wouldn’t have to. Each of her opponents would find the most delicate but effective way to say it for her.

As long as Sarah Palin doesn’t have to face that reality, she can ride the Maybe Wave for years, and cash in on endorsements. Just ask Newt: He’s not running either, and never will, but the merest hint that he might is enough to rack up sales of his next doorstop. That’s just the currency of the trade.

So back to Wednesday’s offering of autoerotic self-hagiography, which even Potter Stewart would recognize on sight: It’s been noted that all the generic shots are (of course) stock photography, and everyone has jumped on the revelation that the “sunrise” behind the Statue of Liberty is really a sunset played backwards.

Which leaves us to observe one bit of Reagan iconography that everyone else overlooked:

America, there’s a bear in the woods.


Wow, it looks like a junior high school mash-up. It would have been really teabagger bad if she’d concluded the piece with a helicopter flying by and taking out the bear with a stinger missile.

I don’t want to lose that precious one minute nine seconds of my life by watching, nor send my blood pressure through the roof by hearing her voice, so just tell me, does the grizzly bear attack a demon sheep FCINO at the end? Because that would be cool.

My response to Sarah Palin’s idiocy as uttered by Jon Hamm: “What?”

The problem for the MSM is that this bear is kind of like the cartoon bear in the toilet paper ads. Fake and is a dingleberry.

I pretty much agree that SarPal isn’t really going to reach for the brass ring, although I think Newt may well do so. She could dip her toe into the early parts of the primary race, to enhance the brand, but lose New Hampshire or South Carolina? Not a chance. Plus, she’s smart (and lazy) enough to realize that the shit the Preznit has to do is hard, whereas showing up smiling and word-mangling on FOX is pretty much like taking Rocks for Jocks in college.

@SanFranLefty: That’s awesome.

@SanFranLefty: That was amuch better use of my time. Thank you.

Here’s Peggy Noonan calling Sarah Palin a nincompoop:

WARNING: you have to slog through several paragraphs of unbearably stupid nonses to get to it. But there is a second payoff at the very end where Noonan scolds Palin for refering to Ronald Reagan as an “actor” when, in fact, the man was an “artist.”

No wonder Talibunny “favorites” this preacher who calls for the “Blood of Jesus” to rise up against our Taliban Muslim President – whoever is in charge of the signage at the church uses her grammar guide to the English language.

I normally find that Onion articles make their point then drive it so far into the ground that you will never find it again, but this one is pretty good, particularly the little button on the end:

Last Remaining Politician Must Rebuild Entire Government Following Bloodiest Midterm Election In American History

@Serolf Divad:

Can you imagine the modern Repubs picking a candidate who had been a UNION PRESIDENT for 12 years? Raygun would have been *crucified* by the teabaggers.

“If there is a bear”?

That blast from the past was unexpectedly revealing and way too appropriate.

@PedonatorUSA: Yeah, that caught my attention — completely forgot that line. Greenwald should run with it.

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